The New Intimacy

Who's on Fetlife?

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Contributor: Darling Jen Darling Jen
So it was only a few weeks ago that I even learned about Fetlife through a new friend of mine and I was instantly intrigued, even though I still didn't quite grasp what it was. And then all of a sudden, I see it mentioned here a few times and figured it must be a must bigger, underground secret than I originally thought! I'm now researching more about it and considering joining if I get the nerve up but it still leaves me wondering...

How many of you are on Fetlife? Do you even know what it is?

(Private voting so that no one tries to stalk people who may be on it and want to remain anonymous here/there.)
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
I've been on Fetlife since the beginning!
8  (6%)
Been there a while/I visit on occasion.
35  (25%)
I'm a fairly recent member/Visit rarely.
23  (17%)
I know what it is but I'm not a part.
28  (20%)
I think I might know what you're talking...
4  (3%)
Whaaa? Is that like Metlife, the insurance?
35  (25%)
Obligatory other/I like being difficult!
5  (4%)
Total votes: 138
Poll is closed
11/23/2010
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Contributor: Darling Jen Darling Jen
So far I'm the only one who wasn't "in the know".
11/23/2010
Contributor: StrawberryEve StrawberryEve
I know what it is, but I'm not a fan of social networking sites. The only things I do are here and on thatguywiththeglasses. com
11/24/2010
Contributor: Darling Jen Darling Jen
Quote:
Originally posted by StrawberryEve
I know what it is, but I'm not a fan of social networking sites. The only things I do are here and on thatguywiththeglasses. com
Hm, that's another one I'm not familiar with. I'm so out of the loop!

But I definitely understand not being on the social networking ride. They're high maintenance and once your information is out there, it can never be undone.
11/24/2010
Contributor: LadyAurora LadyAurora
I'm on Fetlife, but in a limited capacity. There are a few things that interest me and my husband is also on there. I'm learning more about certain things I'm interested in and seeing some of the "players" in the local scene.
11/24/2010
Contributor: Darling Jen Darling Jen
Quote:
Originally posted by LadyAurora
I'm on Fetlife, but in a limited capacity. There are a few things that interest me and my husband is also on there. I'm learning more about certain things I'm interested in and seeing some of the "players" in the local scene.
That's pretty much why I'm curious about it and considering an account. But I'm wondering if it's worth another social network and another place my information is shared, however little it is.
11/24/2010
Contributor: mrs.mckrakn mrs.mckrakn
no idea what this is, first time i hear of this.
11/24/2010
Contributor: ZenaidaMacroura ZenaidaMacroura
I've heard the name, but I have no idea what it is. Never looked into it.
11/24/2010
Contributor: lamira lamira
I had never heard of Fetlife until today.
11/24/2010
Contributor: Darling Jen Darling Jen
Wow, I honestly thought more people would have. But it's reassuring to know I wasn't the only one.
11/25/2010
Contributor: TitsMcScandal TitsMcScandal
There is another thread where everyone has given their fetlife names and such. I'd find it /link to it but I'm on my Phone and I havent yet metered some things so let me just keep it simple. I am on fetlife. I've been on for well over a year. I am pretty active on there and really involved. I am a greeter so when you joined or if you choose to join I may be the one to say welcome and give you all the helpful hints and such. My name is the same there as it is here - Titsmcscandal. If you are on there and want to add me as a friend feel free.
11/25/2010
Contributor: Darling Jen Darling Jen
Quote:
Originally posted by TitsMcScandal
There is another thread where everyone has given their fetlife names and such. I'd find it /link to it but I'm on my Phone and I havent yet metered some things so let me just keep it simple. I am on fetlife. I've been on for well over a ... more
Oh awesome! I'm definitely gonna look you up now!
11/25/2010
Contributor: TitsMcScandal TitsMcScandal
Here: link is the thread that I was referencing earlier
11/25/2010
Contributor: Darling Jen Darling Jen
Quote:
Originally posted by TitsMcScandal
Here: link is the thread that I was referencing earlier
Oh wow, thanks TM! Nearly a year ago, huh? Crazy! That means the site is minimally a year old. That makes me feel so behind!
11/25/2010
Contributor: Lady Neshamah Lady Neshamah
been kicking that around for a while.
12/11/2010
Contributor: Dusk Dusk
I learned about it over the course of the summer as I was becoming more involved in the local BDSM scene. I'm there, feel free to visit me!
12/11/2010
Contributor: RubenesqueAna RubenesqueAna
Ah! I had never heard of it. I'm signed up now, though.
12/12/2010
Contributor: Miss Morphine Miss Morphine
I try to check my account about once a day. It's been fairly useful for some networking and meeting of new people in my local community. My handle is the same there as it is here if anyone feels like taking a peek at my profile there.
12/14/2010
Contributor: clp clp
I've been on a good while but I'm not a fan of social networking sites. I do not participate much and I don't 'friend' anyone. I do use it for checking calenders for real-life events--it has been invaluable in that regard.
12/15/2010
Contributor: Miss Morphine Miss Morphine
Quote:
Originally posted by clp
I've been on a good while but I'm not a fan of social networking sites. I do not participate much and I don't 'friend' anyone. I do use it for checking calenders for real-life events--it has been invaluable in that regard.
The events feature is one of the best thing about the site.
12/15/2010
Contributor: UnknownGirl UnknownGirl
What is it? What's it's purpose?
12/15/2010
Contributor: Not here Not here
I'm on Fetlife but rarely visit it. For the most part it just seems to be a bunch of men that message me or comment on my pictures, trying to get some. I would be more active if I knew more people on there.
12/16/2010
Contributor: Destri Destri
Quote:
Originally posted by UnknownGirl
What is it? What's it's purpose?
It is designed to be a social/community site for people with fetishes and who are into BDSM. It is huge, and from my standpoint, kind of cliquey. There are certainly groups to join for every conceivable fetish from the fairly common all the way to the creepy and nasty.

I have had one good experience there, my hubby and I met our Mentor who has become a very close and trusted friend. Other than that, eh.....
12/16/2010
Contributor: Diabolical Kitty Diabolical Kitty
I am morbid_angel_TM on Fetlife.
12/19/2010
Contributor: UnknownGirl UnknownGirl
Quote:
Originally posted by Destri
It is designed to be a social/community site for people with fetishes and who are into BDSM. It is huge, and from my standpoint, kind of cliquey. There are certainly groups to join for every conceivable fetish from the fairly common all the way to ... more
Do you think it's a good place to find a third, or would you recommend someplace else?
12/20/2010
Contributor: Miss Morphine Miss Morphine
Quote:
Originally posted by UnknownGirl
Do you think it's a good place to find a third, or would you recommend someplace else?
It's not specifically marketed as a dating site and as such the search function doesn't facilitate overly specific queries in regards to age, gender, etc. The intent of this is to cut down on trolling. However you can find members in your city (or the nearest city), state, and even other countries and you can search by fetish and other characteristics.
12/20/2010
Contributor: rdytogo rdytogo
I've heard of it, but never been on it.
12/20/2010
Contributor: Shaelote Shaelote
I'm on it, but I try very hard to ignore the really weird messages I sometimes get from men ;;
12/21/2010
Contributor: Kayla Kayla
Quote:
Originally posted by UnknownGirl
Do you think it's a good place to find a third, or would you recommend someplace else?
I'd recommend Fetlife if you are willing to take the time and effort to want to know people before choosing your third. I'm not sure what your "third" references (a swinger partner or lifetime partner), so I can't really advise too much. For a lifetime partner, it's a good place where people can discuss on forums, friend each other, post pictures, and easily communicate. It's not as advanced as Facebook, but it's basically the kinky Facebook.

If looking for someone for more of a one-night-stand type-a thing, check out CollarMe.com which lets you search by age, gender, sexual preference, kinks, location, etc. Fetlife doesn't allow that since they're trying to move away from the "meat market" type of thing.

As to the conversation, I'm on Fetlife and check it daily.
01/02/2011
Contributor: The Beautiful Kind The Beautiful Kind
FetLife has been instrumental in connecting the kink community in St. Louis. I recommend everyone curious about kink sign up and join some of the groups. It's a great way to meet like-minded people. It's easy to get lost on there - sometimes my partner and I will surf FetLife together, turn it into a sport.
01/02/2011