Not as a punishment but if I feel that my partner and I are having communication issues, and we are not getting along like normal I won't feel as motivated to have sex. It's a very personal time and if you are not 100% satisfied with how things are with your partner you shouldn't push yourself to do things. less

NEVER! Why punish myself because I'm mad at him?

No, really, even when the kids were little and my sex drive was a little smaller, I never "withheld" sex, as I think it's really manipulative. If I'm angry at him, he's gonna find out but in an honest way. I'm going to TELL him. He's an adult man, and it is NOT up to me to reprimand or use manipulation to "punish" because we haven't talked about things that should be talked about.

My Mother is a very controlling, passive-aggressive woman, living with her was hell, and she drove my father away with stuff like this. I learned what "not to do" very young.

I swore when I got into relationships, two things I would never do was to nag and to manipulate. I think I've done pretty good at avoiding both of them.

I had a friend (ex-friend, now) who used to publicly tell her husband, when she was angry, "You're cut off, you asshole." and it was such a mean, humiliating thing for her to do to him. I would never do anything like that, in public or private to My Man.

We try really hard not to manipulate each other in any way. We've been together for decades, while my "you're cut off" type friends have either emotionally or actually broken up. The aforesaid woman and her husband now sleep in separate bedrooms, actually have separate "Living rooms" to spend the evening in, and are never seen together, despite, for whatever reason, remaining legally married. I'll never understand that kind of relationship. But, I think the whole "you're cut off" thing was a symptom of an unhealthy relationship in the first place. less

I do withhold sex as punishment sometimes, but that's due to the dynamic of our relationship. And honestly, I see nothing wrong with it in a relationship that DOESN'T have our dynamic. If someone did something wrong enough to upset you so much that you do not want to have sex, then you shouldn't be having sex and should instead be working things out. less

Absolutely not. Withholding sex as punishment is akin to game-playing. Most of the time women hold their feelings in and pout and hope the husband or boyfriend gets the message, but guys don't work that way. They need to know you're upset and why, in order to work things out.

Besides, if you withhold sex as punishment, they're just going to watch porn and get off anyway so you aren't depriving them of anything.

It's abhorrent behaviour. less

NEVER! Why punish myself because I'm mad at him?

No, really, even when the kids were little and my sex drive was a little smaller, I never "withheld" sex, as I think it's really manipulative. If I'm angry at him, he's gonna find out but in an honest way. I'm going to TELL him. He's an adult man, and it is NOT up to me to reprimand or use manipulation to "punish" because we haven't talked about things that should be talked about.

My Mother is a very controlling, passive-aggressive woman, living with her was hell, and she drove my father away with stuff like this. I learned what "not to do" very young.

I swore when I got into relationships, two things I would never do was to nag and to manipulate. I think I've done pretty good at avoiding both of them.

I had a friend (ex-friend, now) who used to publicly tell her husband, when she was angry, "You're cut off, you asshole." and it was such a mean, humiliating thing for her to do to him. I would never do anything like that, in public or private to My Man.

We try really hard not to manipulate each other in any way. We've been together for decades, while my "you're cut off" type friends have either emotionally or actually broken up. The aforesaid woman and her husband now sleep in separate bedrooms, actually have separate "Living rooms" to spend the evening in, and are never seen together, despite, for whatever reason, remaining legally married. I'll never understand that kind of relationship. But, I think the whole "you're cut off" thing was a symptom of an unhealthy relationship in the first place. less

I do withhold sex as punishment sometimes, but that's due to the dynamic of our relationship. And honestly, I see nothing wrong with it in a relationship that DOESN'T have our dynamic. If someone did something wrong enough to upset you so much that you do not want to have sex, then you shouldn't be having sex and should instead be working things out. less

GAAAH seperate apartments int he same house? Just plain creepy to me, and sad so very sad.
The worst thing I've ever said in public to either guy is "Mmmmmhmmm keep it up and you'll eventually learn to love that couch..." but they know that I won't say no just cause I'm butthurt (unless my butt is hurting).
My parents used with holding intimacy and sex as a punishment and I watched it tear them apart...Sigel and I decided after watching them that we'd do things differently. Arch simply won't tolerate it, he knows I want him no matter how angry I am. He also knows that I crave intimacy after an argument and sex then cuddling is a great way to reconnect. Besides we all three get too damn horny with the adrenaline rush stirred up by arguing.... less

Sir, I understand that if we're on the Outs, sometimes we just don't FEEL like having sex until we've resolved the problem. (With us, it rarely lasts more than 24 hours.) IMO, that's really different than the "You're cut off, asshole!!" thing. One is simply NOT wanting to have sex, because you two are upset with each other and the sex might not be honest, and the other is a planned manipulation to hurt the partner by "withholding" sex. Two different things.

Are you saying that you simply don't WANT sex when you are upset with your woman? That's certainly understandable, at least until you talk it out, get to the root of the problem say your "Sorrys" and THEN get it on....
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