In my opinion, for "Friends with benefits" to work for a women, the selected friend must be more of an acquaintance. She then has to limit all activities to sex and have NO pillow talk, and even less, have sleep overs or participate in group activities and what not that could create bonding or a strengthening of. Then, yeah, it could work, but most often than not, it is not properly done.

I have one and yes emotions get in the way.

Sex is pretty much the most intimate things you can do with a person. I mean not only are you sharing yourselves but in you're putting your health at risk and when heterosexual partners have sex there's the potential for creating life. I think it's only natural that emotions become part of the equation too.

Sex can be very damaging to a relationship that was based on friendship. Usually one person wants to get closer and unfortunately, feelings aren't always reciprocated. Lots of broken hearts. I think if you want a sexual relationship it's better left as a relationship STARTED with sex or dating, rather than friendship. Leave friends, friends.

Had one for two years....when we weren't with someone else we always came back to each other for sexual fulfillment. I actually hang with his girlfriend now and she even knows about the past....it's not weird and no emotions got in the way because we knew it was purely a physical attraction....just gotta keep your head in the right place!

Friends with benefits is totally do-able. For me, at least.

I think you can but both people need to be in agreement with things.

Well, I haven't talked to my fwb since the "incident." In fact, I saw him at the bar and before I had a chance to talk to him, he was gone. I'm not sure if that had anything to do with me, but who knows. I decided to let it go. I'm sure I can find someone else to mess around with. Who knows, maybe even an ACTUAL BOYFRIEND!

I think it is possible. But it would need to be a just sex thing. In my opinion, if you are friends, as in movies, dinner, hanging out all the time and having sex then someone is inevietably going to catch feelings.

I used to be really good at the whole fwb thing. But that was mostly in the way that I wasn't the one who got the feelings and I had no particular hang ups about moving on to find the next f bunny. The guys typically moved on pretty well too and we always managed to go back to being friends. I don't know how we managed, it might just be the sort of people we are and what kind of friendship we had.

Another update for everyone! I finally got to talk to my fwb and we talked everything over. We both agree that we are still keeping the feelings down and things are back to normal. But, I don't know for how long since I met someone pretty cool. I might not be posting on the single forum for too much longer if all goes according to plan

Not only do I think it works, I don't even think it's that hard. You just have to pick the right person. If you really like someone, you can't just be FWB with them because it'll just make your feelings worse. But there are plenty of people who I find attractive but have no interest in dating, and I've had successful FWB relationships with people like that. You just have to know yourself and know your own feelings.

I think it can be very difficult. I've done it before many times, both with success and utter failure. One landed me in a nearly 5 year relationship that turned abusive toward the end, and cost me my best friend (whom I should have married). Fortunately I've gotten things straightened out since then.

Currently I'm in one where things are a bit more complicated. We started as friends, then added benefits and then layered a D/s relationship on top of that. I try to keep my head on straight and remember that I have goals in my future that I won't give up this time, no matter how great he is. But it can be difficult because we are so close.

They CAN work but they often don't. I was in one recently that got so complicated I had to just walk away.

It's really strange how things are working for us. I told him I had feelings for him, and we stopped sleeping together, partially because I was starting to see someone else. I was only with that guy for about a week and things went sour, and I told my fwb that I needed some stress relief and I went home with him. It was interesting that he didn't care that I had feelings for him, we still got really intimate.

I saw him again last night...he is getting nervous that if we keep it up, I'm going to get hurt. I appreciate his concern, but it's not going to happen. Of course the more I protest, the less convincing it will be. lol

I believe in polyamory, so I might be the wrong person to be discussing this. In my experience, a FWB/NSA relationship will not work if you're not both more committed to non-monogamy than you are to each other, and/or not open to the idea of polyamory. Yes, ultimately if it goes on long enough, feelings will become involved. It's human nature. You begin to see your sex partner as a complete person. Oftentimes, you find you respect and admire that person. You care about their happiness and well-being. If you are the type of person who can have romantic/loving feelings for more than one person at a time, it can be beautiful, in my experience. If you're ultimately looking for a monogamous relationship, it's probably not gonna work long term with your FWB, unless that person's also looking for monogamy, and sees you as a potential candidate for that type of relationship. I believe the best way to keep a FWB relationship going is for both partners to be completely open and honest about things. I don't necessarily mean divulging the details of each encounter with someone else, but letting your FWB know where you're at as far as your specific relationship any given time, and letting them know where they stand with you at any given time, and for you both to acknowledge that those things are likely to change for either or both of you from time to time. If you meet someone else you really click with, you'll likely have less time to devote to your FWB. If she/he meets someone else, you'll likely see them less while that's going on. If monogamy's on the table, your FWB thing could end altogether. Looking at these types of relationships realistically often sucks (who doesn't want to be someone else's first choice?), but if you don't look at it realistically, someone's gonna get hurt/be disappointed/feel used. And realistically, if you are each other's first choice, wouldn't you already be in some type of non-FWB relationship anyway?

I've in an open relationship, and I've successfully had friends with benefits.