she should not be doing this to you with him, and neither should he... If it was me I would be getting a new house mate and working on a new relationship. Get out and get busy doing something that will give you a distraction and have some fun.

Oh no! I'm sorry to hear that.

Honestly, I would be upset. You asked should you forgive her.... Has she apologized and promised to step back?

I assume she knows that you and your ex were working through things & in that case, I personally would feel a bit betrayed in that situation. Also, it seems like a sort of unhealthy situation in other ways because if it's your roommate & you're planning to have any kind of future with this person, it sounds like having a roommate who's crossing the line would really make the relationship strained.

Is your ex okay with your housemate crossing this line? That's one thing to consider. Have you said anything to the ex? I personally would be questioning both of their loyalty. If the ex didn't stand up and say something, even just "whoa! That's a little too much." Then it'd be hard to feel like I could really trust them.

Point is: every single person knows the line. There's a line that is not invisible and single or not, flirty or not, everybody knows where that line is and if they cross it, they know it. You don't just buddy up to your friend's ex/possible partner with only friendly intentions. In fact, you don't snuggle up to anybody who's not 100% single. You keep a distance. You be friends, you be friendly, you conversate, but you keep a distance between the two of you. This is how I live anyway. I mean, I'm close with all my family members and my friends and their partners and I will talk, but only in the same room with their partner. I am careful, and that is how a friend should be with your partner.

Anyways, I'd just try to be calm and think about who is doing what and who is trustworthy. The ex? the roommate? Neither? It'd also be a good idea to recall why it is you guys broke up to begin with... Sometimes that's your answer.

If you definitely plan on getting into a relationship with this person then you pretty much have to set boundaries with this housemate. And it wouldn't be a bad idea to ask your ex how they feel about the person snuggling up to them & try to figure out if they respect you. Maybe they want no part of this housemate, but don't want to cause a scene by confronting them? If you make it known that the situation is not working for you, then you all may be able to work through it. Maybe tell him that you'd prefer putting it off (getting exclusive) for the time being because you feel there's a line crossed between your housemate and your ex. That seems like a good way to figure out where the ex stands in it, and a good way to bring it up? Maybe.

All I know is you can't sit around and be with someone when you have a HOUSEmate who won't stop crossing the line. That's just a disaster and too much for one person to have to deal with (I've been there.) unless it didn't bother you, and it's understandable that it does.

When I went through a similar situation (only this was my year long partner we were not split and it was a family member crossing the line) HE's the one who stood up and said he's uncomfortable with the way she was acting towards him & we talked about it & his solution was to ignore her and refuse to be around to give her any attention at all that way she'd see she's getting nowhere. It works and we have to be around her still, but it's much more comfortable now.

So you probably have to say something at some point.

Hope it works out well for you. Sorry you're dealing with this. I know you must feel a bit hurt by the housemate, especially if you were close friends.

If you've accepted that you're not getting back together, why did you agree to work things through and date again?

Always better for YOU to forgive. People who don't forgive die young from stress.

Whether or not you should continue to live with her is an ENTIRELY different story.

tell her the truth.

I have NOW accepted that we are not going to get back together. Up until I found them in bed together, we were really close again.

Yowch!!! What an awful thing to walk in to!

That's beyond being rude, it's backstabbing. Too bad you can't get out sooner than July.

I dont think that I could accept that, its more of a matter of respect and it seems as though your house mate doesnt have that at all

yes. it's silly to get wound up over this.

You have every reason to be annoyed - they're bugging the fuck out of you on purpose.

May I suggest this link item? You deserve some entertainment at their expense at this point for them being smegheads to you. You may even be able to get rid of her this way ...

should look into a new roomate

I like the way you think!