Should this really be considered a con?

Contributor: gone77 gone77
I just read a review for a dildo wherein the reviewer listed the fact that it's not harness compatible as a con. I'm wondering if this is really fair? I mean, I could see it if the dildo was meant to be harness compatible but failed in that department (say it was a bad fit or whatever), but when a dildo is not intended to be harness compatible? It just seems like an unfair and unnecessary negative to put in a review. Thoughts?
12/31/2009
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Contributor: Kayla Kayla
Quote:
Originally posted by gone77
I just read a review for a dildo wherein the reviewer listed the fact that it's not harness compatible as a con. I'm wondering if this is really fair? I mean, I could see it if the dildo was meant to be harness compatible but failed in that ... more
I'd say it's a con, (people list not being waterproof as a con. Personally, I've never had the urge to use a vibrator in the tub.) but I'd never take off stars in the overall rating for it.
12/31/2009
Contributor: Red Red
Quote:
Originally posted by gone77
I just read a review for a dildo wherein the reviewer listed the fact that it's not harness compatible as a con. I'm wondering if this is really fair? I mean, I could see it if the dildo was meant to be harness compatible but failed in that ... more
I'm with you on this, it irks me when something that's just a property of the toy is listed as a con. I think reviewers need to be more comfortable with saying that there are no cons.

If the dildo really would be *SO* much better if it were harness compatible (IE - the Whipspider Wave or Tentacle - both would be so much easier to hold with a base of some sort), then sure, that's great, but sometimes it really seems like the reviewer was just grabing at something to throw into the "cons" box.

After all, would it really be appropriate to list "it doesn't vibrate" as a con for a dildo? Or "It's not double ended"? Or "It doesn't glow in the dark"...etc etc etc

Just my two cents.
12/31/2009
Contributor: Alan & Michele Alan & Michele
I'd say that if it's a regular review it's fair, because those tend to be more personal opinion-oriented. People are naturally going to list things that they were disappointed about in the Cons. But if it's a Description review then that's far too biased unless, like you said, it's *supposed* to be compatible and failed.
12/31/2009
Contributor: Sir Sir
No, it should not be a con. If it's obvious that it's not intended to be harness compatible, this shouldn't be something listed.
12/31/2009
Contributor: Sir Sir
Quote:
Originally posted by Kayla
I'd say it's a con, (people list not being waterproof as a con. Personally, I've never had the urge to use a vibrator in the tub.) but I'd never take off stars in the overall rating for it.
For the waterproof thing, sometimes companies claim that their product is waterproof. Therefore, it is warranted to be listed as a con, yes.
12/31/2009
Contributor: FAM4LIFE FAM4LIFE
Yes, I enjoy both harness compatible dildos and "plain." I definitely don't see that as a con, especially when you generally have to invest more money in toys with more features (waterproof, for example).
12/31/2009
Contributor: gone77 gone77
Quote:
Originally posted by Alan & Michele
I'd say that if it's a regular review it's fair, because those tend to be more personal opinion-oriented. People are naturally going to list things that they were disappointed about in the Cons. But if it's a Description review then ... more
But how can you be disappointed it doesn't have a feature it was never intended to have? That's like reviewing an audio book and listing the fact that it's not a paper book as a con. You knew you were buying an audio book. See what I mean?
12/31/2009
Contributor: Sir Sir
Quote:
Originally posted by gone77
But how can you be disappointed it doesn't have a feature it was never intended to have? That's like reviewing an audio book and listing the fact that it's not a paper book as a con. You knew you were buying an audio book. See what I mean?
Yeah, I agree. It's also comparable to buying a stuffed animal and saying "It's not a shirt" as a con. Well, I hate to break it to you, but a stuffed animal isn't a shirt, and you knew that when you were buying it...
12/31/2009
Contributor: Alan & Michele Alan & Michele
Quote:
Originally posted by gone77
But how can you be disappointed it doesn't have a feature it was never intended to have? That's like reviewing an audio book and listing the fact that it's not a paper book as a con. You knew you were buying an audio book. See what I mean?
You know what? I'm having a "duh" moment here and I just realized that I had mis-read your original post. I'm so sorry! No you're right, unless the toy had a small flange or something that for some reason made the person *think* it might work in a harness when they looked at it, that can't be a con.
12/31/2009
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by gone77
I just read a review for a dildo wherein the reviewer listed the fact that it's not harness compatible as a con. I'm wondering if this is really fair? I mean, I could see it if the dildo was meant to be harness compatible but failed in that ... more
Pro and Cons are opinions. If a review says a pro is that a dildo is large or great for size queens - that may be a con for others. Likewise if a con is that it's too small - but you like small dildos - then the con becomes a pro.

Just evaluate the info and interpret it as you see fit - there is no right or wrong - just opinion.
12/31/2009
Contributor: Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
Pro and Cons are opinions. If a review says a pro is that a dildo is large or great for size queens - that may be a con for others. Likewise if a con is that it's too small - but you like small dildos - then the con becomes a pro.

Just ... more
Size is something I always try to talk about subjectively and I think that can be done easily: "may be too large for beginners"/"size queens may be disappointed." Etc. (And size actually is far from cut and dry as material, texture and shape can all make a difference in how something feels so I wouldn't actually call it a feature anyway).


I would have to say that harness compatibility should not be listed as a con if you can take one look at the dildo and see that. If there were some sort of flare that made it seem possible or if it were advertised that way, then I can see why it would be a con but if you want a harness compatible dildo, then get one but not every dildo is intended to be harness compatible (and many people will never have a need for such a thing). I don't tend to list not-waterproof as a con anyway.
12/31/2009
Contributor: Rockin' Rockin'
I agreed with Alan and Michele's initial sentiment, in that, if it's a regular review, people can put what they want in the pros/cons, but for description reviews, they should be more objective and pick pros/cons about the toy itself and not so much about personal use desires.

I feel like there are a lot of things I've listed as cons and seen listed as cons that we "know before we buy" and yet (sometimes) list them in the cons section anyway, to highlight them for someone scanning through. Examples:
-porous material
-no dedicated on/off button on a vibe
-not rechargeable
-contains phthalates / parabens / sugar / glycerin / etc.

Maybe other people see a difference between these things and harness compatibility, but I don't really. It's just a property of the toy that people might like to be aware of. I list things in the "cons" section that I think customers need to consider when buying a toy, even if it might seem obvious to me.
01/01/2010
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
I think there should always be a pro and a con for each product. Call me cynical, but there things that aren't 100% good.

-BUT-

You can have cons and still give 5 stars.

Take Red's example of the Tentacle (I really want one btw). Sure, it's not harness compatible; but you can still use it and give it 5 stars.

One thing I love about EF is that the reps for the companies are on here too. They could read your review and go "Yeah, that could be bigger/smaller/taste more like chicken. I'll talk to my people about it."

It is still dumbful to list something as a con when it's not supposed to be there. "I would like this cherry lube, but it doesn't taste like chicken enough."

ok...it's late
01/01/2010
Contributor: Miss Cinnamon Miss Cinnamon
I see pros and cons as highlights and warnings. "You'll like this because of ____, but be aware that ____". As long as you don't lower a product's rating for not doing something it didn't promise to do, I say feel free to list cons as long as they make sense and aren't too out there. After all, I've seen plenty of reviews (mine included) which list waterproofness, harness compatibility, and can be sterilized as pros. Why shouldn't reviewers list the lack of these features as cons? If it doesn't affect the overall quality of the toy, or if it's not failing to deliver on what it promised, then it shouldn't affect the star rating. But, hey, a drawback is still a drawback.

Is a watch better if it's waterproof? I think so. Is lack of waterproofness a drawback in a watch, even if the watch didn't claim to be waterproof? Heck yes.

What does bother me, though, is when contributors vote down a review a LOT (somewhat useful and below) simply because they did not agree with a pro or a con.

My three cents
01/01/2010
Contributor: Sir Sir
I actually haven't seen anyone vote down a review because they didn't agree with the Pros/Cons (except for one person, but that's minor). People should not do that by any means, just for disagreeing.


Something not being waterproof is completely different than saying that it "isn't harness-compatible" when it's clear that the dildo does not have testicles or a base. My example was, it's like buying a teddy bear or stuffed animal and saying "It's not a shirt," or, "It isn't edible." Well, it's obviously not edible and cannot be worn as a shirt, it's a stuffed animal!

I understand what you mean by saying that things being listed as Pros also should be able to be listed as cons, but listing such a thing that's evident as a lack of feature is something that implies negative feelings, which shouldn't be done because the person knew before receiving the product that it isn't harness-compatible. Listing it as a pro means that it's "an extra plus." Listing it as a con means that the product is lacking, which it by no means is if the person was able to see that it was not harness compatible.

Being waterproof is not something that we can see with our eyes; we need to test it. Harness-compatibility is not something that needs to be tested, it's a given (unless of course, like some people wrote, it has a base that's too floppy/small and doesn't stand up well to harness use).

Sometimes, we list things as cons to draw attention to them, I agree. Like Rockin' with a Cock In said, how porous the material is, whether it's rechargeable, if batteries are included, some properties of the material. These are things that we cannot always see by the pictures, and we write them to draw attention to them (especially the porosity of the material, that's something great to add for people reading reviews who have no idea about sterilization and safer practices). As I already listed, you can see quite clearly whether a dildo is harness-compatible or not (unless someone really inexperienced knows nothing about harnesses and thinks that any dildo can stay in one).

Throughout the review, adding this as a negative is alright, though. Saying something along the lines of "since there isn't a base, I do not recommend it for anal play and it cannot be used in a harness, even though it's lovely and those would be great extra features!" But adding it as a Con draws too much attention. I would only ever add something like that as a Con if the case with the floppy/too small base happened, or if the pictures were angled and I could not tell by the pictures alone.

I talk too much! This is just my personal opinion of the whole thing. I am trying to understand why people would think otherwise, but I'm still not. If someone could explain to me better why adding that as a Con is alright, I would appreciate it. Thank you.
01/01/2010
Contributor: Envy Envy
I agree, it shouldn't be a con. It'd be more a con if it was harness compatible, but didn't fit certain kinds of harnesses the reviewer had, then yeah, that'd be a con.
01/01/2010
Contributor: gone77 gone77
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
Pro and Cons are opinions. If a review says a pro is that a dildo is large or great for size queens - that may be a con for others. Likewise if a con is that it's too small - but you like small dildos - then the con becomes a pro.

Just ... more
So people should guess as to what might be a con for others? I thought cons are supposed to be what *we* the reviewers thought were cons for *us*.
01/01/2010
Contributor: gone77 gone77
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
Pro and Cons are opinions. If a review says a pro is that a dildo is large or great for size queens - that may be a con for others. Likewise if a con is that it's too small - but you like small dildos - then the con becomes a pro.

Just ... more
Of course, after I typed that last response, I realize I'm guilty of doing the same thing sometimes. I think it's time I list cons that are only cons for me.
01/01/2010
Contributor: Pleasureman Pleasureman
Quote:
Originally posted by gone77
I just read a review for a dildo wherein the reviewer listed the fact that it's not harness compatible as a con. I'm wondering if this is really fair? I mean, I could see it if the dildo was meant to be harness compatible but failed in that ... more
Sometimes, when there are no cons for a toy, I think people worry and want to add suggestions on improving that toy. Saying that the toy is not compatible with a harness could be a suggestion for future ideas, but I do not believe that it is a con. I think, in such a case, it would be a better idea for people to state that there are no cons with the toy. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I have always been under the impression that a con is a defect in the toy itself or a disappointment in the performance of the toy.
01/02/2010
Contributor: Raven Raven
Quote:
Originally posted by Miss Cinnamon
I see pros and cons as highlights and warnings. "You'll like this because of ____, but be aware that ____". As long as you don't lower a product's rating for not doing something it didn't promise to do, I say feel free to ... more
I agree with you.
01/02/2010
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
Just my two cents, and I don't mean to come off as rude or dismissive, but there's been a lot of nitpicking going on in the forums lately. It's sort of annoying, to be honest.

If someone prefers their dildos to be harness compatible then this is a con. Similarly, if I reviewed a product and it wasn't powerful enough for me then I'd say "not powerful enough for me". Regular reviews don't have to be 100% objective; they're allowed to take your preferences into account. I'm not sure that this is an issue.
01/02/2010
Contributor: Luscious Lily Luscious Lily
Quote:
Originally posted by Miss Cinnamon
I see pros and cons as highlights and warnings. "You'll like this because of ____, but be aware that ____". As long as you don't lower a product's rating for not doing something it didn't promise to do, I say feel free to ... more
My two cents is, I agree with Miss Cinnamon. Put things that I think a customer should be aware of, and things that MAY be a pro or con to some people. Actually, I sometimes will put the same element in BOTH columns. The way I see it, a very thick toy can be both a pro and a con, so I list it as such. This emphasizes that it's personal preference, but should be taken into account when making a decision on whether or not to buy.

On the waterproofing issue, I so sometimes take issue with a toy not being waterproof, even if it says that it isn't. Toys are easier to clean when they're waterproof. If the toy is difficult to clean because it's not waterproof (which varies from toy to toy), then I'm going to say so. If it's not waterproof, but still easy to clean (because there's only one tiny hole to protect), then I'll say so. I may not mark it down, but I'm not going to gloss over it because it's part of the design. If I don't think it's designed well, waterproofing included, that will be part of my review.

Ok, I guess that was more like three cents, too, hahah.
01/03/2010
Contributor: LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
I think there should always be something listed in the Cons section. It doesn't necessarily have to be considered a flaw.

Often I will put things in the Cons section that I think would make the toy better. In the case of this dildo, certainly it might be more useful to more people if it were harness compatible. So one way to improve it would be to make it so.

It doesn't have to mean the toy is not great the way it is, but I am of the mind that all things can be improved in one way or another.
01/03/2010
Contributor: Sir Sir
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
I think there should always be something listed in the Cons section. It doesn't necessarily have to be considered a flaw.

Often I will put things in the Cons section that I think would make the toy better. In the case of this dildo, ... more
Alright, now I understand that reasoning better. Thank you, Laurel.
01/03/2010
Contributor: gone77 gone77
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
I think there should always be something listed in the Cons section. It doesn't necessarily have to be considered a flaw.

Often I will put things in the Cons section that I think would make the toy better. In the case of this dildo, ... more
Now that makes sense, Laurel. Thank you for joining in on the discussion.
01/04/2010
Contributor: gone77 gone77
This is what I like to see: A question generating a lot of thoughtful responses. Thank you, everyone, for taking the time out to post.

I must admit that my mind was unchanged until I read Laurel's post. Now I view cons differently, and I'll bear what she said in mind for future reviews.
01/04/2010
Contributor: Victoria Victoria
Quote:
Originally posted by gone77
This is what I like to see: A question generating a lot of thoughtful responses. Thank you, everyone, for taking the time out to post.

I must admit that my mind was unchanged until I read Laurel's post. Now I view cons differently, and ... more
Yeah, I use Laurel's logic too - and am so glad she was on here last night to share it! I usually think of what could make the product better, not only for me but for a wider range of people.
01/04/2010
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by gone77
But how can you be disappointed it doesn't have a feature it was never intended to have? That's like reviewing an audio book and listing the fact that it's not a paper book as a con. You knew you were buying an audio book. See what I mean?
You can be disappointed that it doesn't have a feature that you prefer but it's not really a "con" to buying the product. I'd simply mention it in the review, something like "I prefer harness capable vibes and dildos but all in all it works for the intended purpose (or it doesn't work whatever the case may be).

I, personally, wouldn't list it as a con if it isn't the intended purpose of the item. Still a nice flared base which is harness ready makes for a wider appeal.
01/04/2010
Contributor: Darling Dove Darling Dove
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
For the waterproof thing, sometimes companies claim that their product is waterproof. Therefore, it is warranted to be listed as a con, yes.
I have listed it sometimes when it looks like it would be waterproof, as well. Some toys really look the part but they just aren't. To the point where I would have made the mistake myself had I not looked closely at the package.

As far as not harness compatible, it does bug me a bit, but I shrug it off because for some couples, strapping one on is how they enjoy their intercourse so for them it really may be a con.
01/04/2010