is it okay for an 18 year old girl to date a 32 year old guy?

Contributor: Sex'и'Violence Sex'и'Violence
Technically if that's where your maturity level is at then it would be fine. I would personally look twice though. It just seems creepy and makes me think "daddy issues"
05/25/2011
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by Sex'и'Violence
Technically if that's where your maturity level is at then it would be fine. I would personally look twice though. It just seems creepy and makes me think "daddy issues"
Daddy issues make for great sex, just sayin'.

@Collodion and @happyhomeschoolingmom thanks for confirming my belief I'm not the only one to have a successful relationship with an older man. And uh I might be wanting DNA tests to see if we're sisters!
05/27/2011
Contributor: The Curious Couple The Curious Couple
All relationships have to be looked at on a case-by-case basis. I think it's extremely possible for a girl who's 18 to fall for a guy who's 32. Maturity level has a lot to do with any relationship.
05/27/2011
Contributor: emiliaa emiliaa
I'm going to completely ignore the age difference and say that if he's an ass to you, stay away from the very start.
06/10/2011
Contributor: Ivy Wilde Ivy Wilde
I voted "no way" because 90% of the time, it is not a healthy relationship in one way or another. Most 18 year olds are far too young and inexperienced with life and relationships to know what they want and what is healthy for them. And most 32 year olds who would want to date an 18 year old have something wrong with them. HOWEVER, and it's a big however. There are exceptions to that. Sometimes two people are right for each other regardless of their relative ages. Of course the older both partners are the less the age difference matters. If she were 25 and he were 39, I wouldn't have any problem with it. The problem is that most 18 year olds haven't really experienced anything outside of living with their parents and going to high school. It is far too easy for an older person to warp and damage someone who doesn't have enough "real life" experience to cushion them against abuse and manipulation. Even if the older partner does not mean to hurt the younger partner, if they are not extremely careful, they can still damage the younger partner unintentionally. It's just generally not a good idea for someone much older to get involved with someone who is only 18. Wait until they have graduated college or at least been living on their own for 4 or 5 years.
06/10/2011
Contributor: Jaimes Jaimes
My husband of nearly 4 years (8 altogether), was 30 when I was 18.
If it's just about sex, I understand! Salt and pepper drives me wild. But if you are looking for long term, it's important that you don't stick your head in the sand about the possible pitfalls of the age difference. You guys need to talk about the issues that do come up. i.e. his experiences versus your lack thereof, avoiding condescension and parenting, and keeping him young at heart with you.

Honestly, if the connection is special, then age means nothing. It's about how the other person makes you feel about not only them, but yourself.
06/10/2011
Contributor: SiNn SiNn
Quote:
Originally posted by TumorCrunch
my best friend.....ugh...i don't think i'd mind quite as much as i do if he wasn't a dick to me...but still what do you think?
why wouldnt it be ok back in a differenttime women were pasttheir prime at 18 now all of a sudden we r a society that are obsessed withage and what looks appropriate and 18 is legal
07/03/2011
Contributor: CuteDee CuteDee
I think its okay as long as they are happy. However they should be prepared for the negative backlash, which is too bad cuz everyone deserves to live their life they way they want to. = )

I will say though... looking back, being 18 is way different than being 32 so as time goes on, they might find themselves feeling differently.
07/05/2011
Contributor: Beck Beck
K so me and hubby are 22 and 41! we first got together when i was 17 and he was 37! it was oct13 and my birthday was dec3 and my parents perfectly ok with it and we did not dtd either! but i love older men they are such a turn on for me! yummy! the older the better i like them as old a Micheal Douglas! we been together for 5years in oct and we are happy and have two small boys best healthiest relationship ive ever been in! tell all my girl friends to date older men they just know how to treat a women and men my age are just dumb!
07/05/2011
Contributor: Miss Anonymous Miss Anonymous
it's fine with me
07/14/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Jaimes
My husband of nearly 4 years (8 altogether), was 30 when I was 18.
If it's just about sex, I understand! Salt and pepper drives me wild. But if you are looking for long term, it's important that you don't stick your head in the sand ... more
Yeah, the "parenting" thing. I do have to remind My Man from time to time that he is NOT "My Daddy." In the past, he has tried to Daddy me about things. Despite the fact that we have a somewhat D/s relationship, he still isn't "my daddy" and it bears repeating and we often have to revisit that area. (For instance, he tried to "ban" me from going on Facebook. Why? His mother (who doesn't even use or OWN a computer) heard from a friend of a friend that I had said something "Commie" on my FB page. WTF? I just stood there and had to laugh. "Ban? Really? LOL! Because your mom is the Queen of Internet Knowledge, right?") I have to bring him back to reality and the fact that not everyone thinks like he does from time to time.

It is also difficult because I look at issues differently than he does. He's a bit knee jerk about things, and a bit more conservative. I try to investigate, and do research but once I have done the investigation and form an opinion, LOOK OUT!

But, in the end its about Love and whether the two of you work together. Age has little to do with that.
07/14/2011
Contributor: ninaspinkturtle ninaspinkturtle
Quote:
Originally posted by TumorCrunch
my best friend.....ugh...i don't think i'd mind quite as much as i do if he wasn't a dick to me...but still what do you think?
not if she is stil in high school
07/19/2011
Contributor: ninaspinkturtle ninaspinkturtle
Quote:
Originally posted by TumorCrunch
my best friend.....ugh...i don't think i'd mind quite as much as i do if he wasn't a dick to me...but still what do you think?
not if she is stil in high school
07/19/2011
Contributor: ThoughtsAblaze ThoughtsAblaze
I put "other" because it all depends on the two people, NOT the age.

YES, they can date. I wish them the best, just as I would any other relationship that fits any other details.

Is he dick to you because he really is a jerk, or because you might not be giving him a chance? That's how some people felt about my man because of our 13-year difference; but then they took some time to get to know him and found out how wonderful he is (and how age doesn't matter).
07/19/2011
Contributor: Screen Door Screen Door
Oh there's nothing wrong with it!
07/30/2011
Contributor: bayosgirl bayosgirl
Having been told at 22 that my 35-year-old boyfriend was an "old man", a man I loved (and continue to love, as my husband) I tend to stay out of other people's business. If they're happy, let them be.
07/30/2011
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by TumorCrunch
my best friend.....ugh...i don't think i'd mind quite as much as i do if he wasn't a dick to me...but still what do you think?
Without common frames of reference from the past...TV shows, movies, politicians, world events...etc, what DO you talk about, joke about..etc, when the difference is that big? We find ourselves making "time relevant" comments all the time. When we look at each other when shopping for a table, with a wink and nod and say "great duck and cover table, eh"? What does that mean to someone thirty years younger who has NO CLUE what we are referring to, whereas we knew that phrase from twice a week rehearsals for a nuclear war that thankfully never came?

We really are curious how people of huge age difference like this relate?
07/31/2011
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
Without common frames of reference from the past...TV shows, movies, politicians, world events...etc, what DO you talk about, joke about..etc, when the difference is that big? We find ourselves making "time relevant" comments all the time. ... more
One doesn't have to operate on ideals or cheeky references to the past to hold a conversation.

There are a ton of people of varying ages and life experiences on Eden who carry conversations perfectly fine, mostly because they have something relevant to say about sex, Eden, or whatever common ground they've found between the two of them.

For instance Sexyintexas, Sam and myself found a connection through Gremlin Bells. The tradition started well before any of us we're ever born and we represent three different generations.

My husband and I always have something to talk about. I get a first-person perspective from someone who was involved in a lot of the things that were changing our world at the time. I don't have to be a part of that generation to understand the weight of his experiences and how those events shaped him. No different than when I talk about things from my youth - he saw a good portion of those things go down and I get to tell the stories about how the girls all cried for weeks and the boys refused to shower for weeks after Cobain was found dead. And he gets to tell me about how the world stood still the night John Lennon died. We were together as it was announced live that Michael Jackson was found dead. Again, when Amy Winehouse was found dead. And Heath Ledger. And many more.

We don't have to share the exact same things, we just have to be willing and wanting to share experiences. And we're sharing and experiencing the world together, as it is now. We do and will have mutual not-so-distant memories of the last decade and a half and the next however many more in the future.

It's insulting, to be perfectly honest. I've seen many people who are the same age and ALL they have are connections through television and toys of their youth and they can't teach each other anything. The most successful relationships are ones that keep you mentally and sexually intrigued - challenged, even. That's why my relationship works. We ALWAYS have something to talk about and we are ALWAYS learning from each other.
07/31/2011
Contributor: aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
i find it creepy as well. if he cant find someone his own age it's logical (but still not cool) that he'll go for less experienced, unsuspecting, naive young girls. who would be thrilled to get attention from someone much older, making them feel sexy and more mature themselves.

i think it's creepy when a 23 year old is going after an 18 year old, let alone a 32 year old. and if he's a jerk to her best friend, she's not a very good friend for wanting to be with him. what did the spice girls say?
'if ya wanna be my lover, ya gotta get with my friends'

ha.


no but really. creep city, and barely even legal. she probably has uncles his age. just. no.


08/02/2011
Contributor: MN58 MN58
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
It really depends. Legally is it "ok"...yes. Would I let my child do it? Not in a million years.
Couldn't agree more
08/02/2011
Contributor: beemonkey beemonkey
It is fine!
08/08/2011
Contributor: Sinfully Sinfully
Its fine with me but not sure if it would be the best choice. It's not my place to judge though.
08/08/2011
Contributor: thebest thebest
sure why not
08/08/2011
Contributor: ashesqueer ashesqueer
Quote:
Originally posted by married with children
why is a 32 year old man going after a 18 year old?
I'm 18 and had a relationship with a man who's 32. We were good together. Age doesn't matter. Love does.
08/09/2011
Contributor: sarki sarki
It's totally up to the two people involved
It's got nothing to do with anyone else
08/09/2011
Contributor: Booktease Booktease
Quote:
Originally posted by TumorCrunch
my best friend.....ugh...i don't think i'd mind quite as much as i do if he wasn't a dick to me...but still what do you think?
I'd say its not the age you have a problem with, so much as this guys personality. Which is an entirely different story.
08/12/2011
Contributor: systematicweasel systematicweasel
I don't really think age should matter, it's all the preference on that person.
08/12/2011
Contributor: Kkay Kkay
As long as it's legal and they're both consenting adults, I don't think it's really the place of anyone else to judge.
08/12/2011
Contributor: LibertyGirl LibertyGirl
I don't think it's a good idea. I've never met anyone at 18 who was ready to be with a 32-year-old. No matter how mature the girl may be, she simply won't be ready to settle down like that - or shouldn't be! Besides, it seems like the 32-year-old would have to be very immature to want to date someone in or just out of high school.
09/06/2011
Contributor: Breas Breas
It all really depends that is why I voted "other" ... It depends on the two people, their level of maturity, level of commitment to one another, compatibility, etc.
09/06/2011