Aspergers. v. ADHD: which partner would you rather deal with?

Contributor: RememberMe RememberMe 11/17/2012

Aspergers. v. ADHD: which partner would you rather deal with?

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Discussion Topics

1.
Contributor: RememberMe RememberMe
Aspergers. v. ADHD: which partner would you rather deal with? Why?
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
G&L , deltalima , Stinkytofu10 , Missmarc , sXeVegan90 , LikeSunshineDust , llellsee , Incendiaire , Lizard , - Kira - , padmeamidala , mpfm , BlooJay , hhh , mjtheprincess , damnbul12 , sexxxkitten , Sweet-n-Playful , edeneve , Lavendar , PropertyOfPotter , Taylor , Howells , kitty1949 , Tristan's Everything , BabyL0ve , Jessie<3 , dv8 , potstickers , Thomas90 , smlove , fizzygato , tunacan75 , kkizzee05 , sillylilkitten , travelnurse , PeaceToTheMiddleEast , BiJess , souviet , WhoopieDoo , Meido , marriedlady123 , JoshJosh123 , chicmichiw , KottonKandi , SecondStory , Kristi :) , HannahPanda , Ayogirl230 , bayosgirl , BrittaniMaree , twelve13 , sweetpea12 , Trixxxy , Super Pink Cheeks , KittenGoddessSparlkes02 , Elizabeth98
57  (83%)
The Mother of a SiNner , SiNn , Neotigress , Danneh , phoenixfire , Falsepast , Creepellah , purpledesert , bog , MistressDandelion , SexScienceAndFood , somechick
12  (17%)
Total votes: 69
Poll is open
11/17/2012
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Contributor: G&L G&L
I have ADHD and it really doesn't effect anything really.
11/17/2012
Contributor: deltalima deltalima
Quote:
Originally posted by RememberMe
Aspergers. v. ADHD: which partner would you rather deal with? Why?
I have ADHD so I know what it's like, etc.
11/17/2012
Contributor: Stinkytofu10 Stinkytofu10
Quote:
Originally posted by RememberMe
Aspergers. v. ADHD: which partner would you rather deal with? Why?
ADHD
11/17/2012
Contributor: The Mother of a SiNner The Mother of a SiNner
Quote:
Originally posted by RememberMe
Aspergers. v. ADHD: which partner would you rather deal with? Why?
my son in law has it and hes so high functioning id rather sita nd deal withs oemone with it the adhd
11/17/2012
Contributor: Missmarc Missmarc
Quote:
Originally posted by RememberMe
Aspergers. v. ADHD: which partner would you rather deal with? Why?
ADHD
11/17/2012
Contributor: SiNn SiNn
Quote:
Originally posted by RememberMe
Aspergers. v. ADHD: which partner would you rather deal with? Why?
My fiance has Aspergers
11/17/2012
Contributor: sXeVegan90 sXeVegan90
ADHD
11/18/2012
Contributor: Neotigress Neotigress
Quote:
Originally posted by RememberMe
Aspergers. v. ADHD: which partner would you rather deal with? Why?
I score 42 on the aspie test... I prefer my own peeps. ADHD folks make me nervous to and they hurt my feelings too often.
11/18/2012
Contributor: Vanille Vanille
I am said to show signs of both...so...

But my girlfriend loves me anyway, so it is all good. :3
11/18/2012
Contributor: Lizard Lizard
ADHD
11/18/2012
Contributor: - Kira - - Kira -
I have ADD and it affects my memory and attention span. I'd imagine being with someone else with it would result in some weird conversations, but I think I could deal with that.
11/18/2012
Contributor: BlooJay BlooJay
ADHD
11/18/2012
Contributor: mjtheprincess mjtheprincess
I think if you love them enough it won't matter =) But, I have ADHD, and I am not that difficult to deal with, so I think I would lean that way!
11/18/2012
Contributor: damnbul12 damnbul12
Quote:
Originally posted by RememberMe
Aspergers. v. ADHD: which partner would you rather deal with? Why?
ADHD
11/18/2012
Contributor: sexxxkitten sexxxkitten
ADHD
11/18/2012
Contributor: Sweet-n-Playful Sweet-n-Playful
Quote:
Originally posted by RememberMe
Aspergers. v. ADHD: which partner would you rather deal with? Why?
ADHD
11/18/2012
Contributor: XxXxX XxXxX
Quote:
Originally posted by RememberMe
Aspergers. v. ADHD: which partner would you rather deal with? Why?
I didn't vote because it is hard for me to choose a disability without having a person behind it. My son is 7 and he is autistic as well as ADD, ODD and OCD. Of course I love him, but it is very difficult sometimes to 'deal' with. If I didn't know him and he wasn't my son, before I had him, I would have probably said I wouldn't be able to handle it. But it is totally different now.
11/18/2012
Contributor: Lavendar Lavendar
ADHD
11/18/2012
Contributor: PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
Out of the two, ADHD. Can I ask why you're asking this question?
11/18/2012
Contributor: Sera26 Sera26
My fiance has ADHD and I have Aspergers (technically PDD-NOS, same thing though). I've had other friends in the past with ADHD and we got along well. I feel that we had things beneath the surface in common.

By the way, that's a huge generalization at any rate because every single person is different.
11/18/2012
Contributor: RememberMe RememberMe
Quote:
Originally posted by PropertyOfPotter
Out of the two, ADHD. Can I ask why you're asking this question?
I dated someone with ADHD, and also someone with Aspergers.
11/19/2012
Contributor: GONE! GONE!
"Deal with?" =/
11/19/2012
Contributor: Danneh Danneh
Quote:
Originally posted by GONE!
"Deal with?" =/
Agreed. That phrasing is problematic. Especially considering how many people on the forums have these conditions
11/22/2012
Contributor: kitty1949 kitty1949
Quote:
Originally posted by Danneh
Agreed. That phrasing is problematic. Especially considering how many people on the forums have these conditions
Yup.
11/22/2012
Contributor: Tristan's Everything Tristan's Everything
Quote:
Originally posted by RememberMe
Aspergers. v. ADHD: which partner would you rather deal with? Why?
AdHd for sure
11/22/2012
Contributor: Claire-Bear Claire-Bear
ADHD by far.
12/12/2012
Contributor: Thomas90 Thomas90
I have aspergers, and i really hate meeting other people with it, because i find it so hard to understand them.... i know it sounds weird, but its so difficult for me. I'd prefer ADHD in an other half
01/02/2013
Contributor: phoenixfire phoenixfire
I have family who fall on various parts of the autism spectrum, so I like to think I would be able to deal with an Aspie.
01/02/2013
Contributor: smlove smlove
Quote:
Originally posted by RememberMe
Aspergers. v. ADHD: which partner would you rather deal with? Why?
my previous significant other was both. my wife now is just the ADHD. definitely prefer just that. I call myself the ADD whisperer.
01/12/2013
Contributor: Septimus Septimus
I don't think that it would really make a difference. Any new partner you have is going to have their own quirks. It doesn't matter if they're bipolar, ADHD, dyslexic or what.
Every single person is difficult to deal with in some ways and easy in other ways. I like to think that I hit the jack-pot with my fiance, because all in all, he's an easy going guy and for the 5 years we've been together we've gotten along fabulously. But even he has his faults, and I know I have mine.
01/19/2013
Contributor: bratcat bratcat
i hate these type of questions because this is a disability forum where i expect to read things or find information about having sex with disabilities not "would you rather." I think polls like this add to the stigma that comes with having these types of disabilities and it's kind of gross. Like Septimus said, every person has their quirks, wether they have a mental or physical handicap.
01/21/2013
Contributor: Falsepast Falsepast
Either. Neither will stop me from being me.
01/21/2013
Contributor: kkizzee05 kkizzee05
Quote:
Originally posted by RememberMe
Aspergers. v. ADHD: which partner would you rather deal with? Why?
I know several people with ADHD and it really does not affect much in their lives.
01/21/2013
Contributor: Creepellah Creepellah
Quote:
Originally posted by RememberMe
Aspergers. v. ADHD: which partner would you rather deal with? Why?
Either one.
01/21/2013
Contributor: doowop doowop
Quote:
Originally posted by bratcat
i hate these type of questions because this is a disability forum where i expect to read things or find information about having sex with disabilities not "would you rather." I think polls like this add to the stigma that comes with ... more
Agreed.
01/22/2013
Contributor: souviet souviet
Quote:
Originally posted by RememberMe
Aspergers. v. ADHD: which partner would you rather deal with? Why?
adhd...
02/01/2013
Contributor: purpledesert purpledesert
This question is horribly phrased, but I'm going to ignore the problematic phrasing to share my experiences as I have ADHD. I find it difficult to interact with other ADHDers, especially without any form of meds. Trains of thought constantly crash, conversations fail to go anywhere, and plans are inconsistent. I have a close friend with Aspergers, and we seem to compliment one another well.
02/01/2013
Contributor: Llewey Llewey
I'm sick of seeing the phrase "deal with" on these types of posts. People are not labels. I cannot stand these; love relationships shouldn't be treated like this.
02/10/2013
Contributor: JoshJosh123 JoshJosh123
ADHD
02/25/2013
Contributor: bog bog
Quote:
Originally posted by RememberMe
Aspergers. v. ADHD: which partner would you rather deal with? Why?
I've met some really brilliant and interesting people on the autism spectrum.
02/25/2013
Contributor: HannahPanda HannahPanda
ADHD seems a lot easier to medicate/handle.
03/16/2013
Contributor: bayosgirl bayosgirl
I strongly suspect my first bf had Aspergers. He was socially awkward to the extreme and had some intellectual deficits. I have no experience with ADHD but at least it can be medicated, where as far as I know there's no treatment for Aspergers.
04/02/2013
Contributor: BrittaniMaree BrittaniMaree
ADHD would be more controllable I think
04/02/2013
Contributor: twelve13 twelve13
The phrasing "deal with" seems problematic to me.
04/02/2013
Contributor: sweetpea12 sweetpea12
Quote:
Originally posted by RememberMe
Aspergers. v. ADHD: which partner would you rather deal with? Why?
ADHD, because medication can help with that disorder
05/05/2013
Contributor: VelvetDragon VelvetDragon
I find this post problematic and ableist, so I'm not voting.

You don't "deal" with people. People with autism and people with ADHD are individuals, the way their symptoms express will be individual, you love them as people, not their disorders.

I definitely wouldn't want to date anyone who would want to "deal" with me rather than love me for who I am.
02/09/2014
Contributor: SaucyxGirl SaucyxGirl
lol I would say either or. I myself am an Aspie so there is that little part of me that whispers "Say Aspie you fool."
02/10/2014
Contributor: SexScienceAndFood SexScienceAndFood
I can't deal with my nephew (ADHD) but can easily tolerate my coworkers (many with mild Aspergers. go go scientists!)
07/20/2014
Contributor: Super Pink Cheeks Super Pink Cheeks
i have both and my panther has adhd and id rather deal wit him then me lol
07/20/2014
Contributor: Nanuk Nanuk
i didn't bother voting because it doesn't matter. why are you treating it as something to be dealt with?
02/02/2017
Contributor: KittenGoddessSparlkes02 KittenGoddessSparlkes02
I personally have ADHD and so do many members of my family. And isn;t something you 'deal with' which in all reality I feel is a harsh term to use. I have hard times in my life because of having ADHD and all the health problems I have and so does my husband. But I try to live a normal life as best I can.

And I would love my husband even if it wasn't born a preemie like I was and had CP and other health problems...and I know he feels the same way about me. And our two wonderful amazing children...
03/15/2017
Contributor: OH&W, Lovebears OH&W, Lovebears
Quote:
Originally posted by KittenGoddessSparlkes02
I personally have ADHD and so do many members of my family. And isn;t something you 'deal with' which in all reality I feel is a harsh term to use. I have hard times in my life because of having ADHD and all the health problems I have and so ... more
Being happy and enjoying life is the secret to life. Irregardless who one is, where from, etc etc.
03/15/2017
Contributor: TheToyGuy TheToyGuy
Quote:
Originally posted by OH&W, Lovebears
Being happy and enjoying life is the secret to life. Irregardless who one is, where from, etc etc.
Ditto.
03/18/2017
Contributor: ReverieReviews ReverieReviews
I guess someone must have voted recently to get this thread back up into the recent list, and wow. I am so glad to see I am not the only one who was outraged by the wording of this question.

So, I have Aspergers (although that isn't where my own list of health problems end). And my SO has ADHD. Of course at times I do personally feel like he's just settling and choosing to put up with my "quirks" and deal with me, but this is a very negative mindset to have that typically comes when I'm stressed/depressed and he assures me that it is not the case. He doesn't "deal with" me, just like I don't "deal with" him. I love him more than anything else in the world.
09/28/2017