The New Intimacy

Orgasm Noodles, Anyone?

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Contributor: MeliPixie MeliPixie
I recently read a post where a woman was concerned about "spacing out" after she orgasms. I have something similar happen. I do not orgasm often during sex, mostly because I am afraid that this will happen when I do... I don't "space out" so much as I "noodle out" on him. When I orgasm during sex I'm usually on top, and then, I just kind of, go limp for about thirty seconds. It's not long but it's long enough to feel his frustration that suddenly my body isn't cooperating with his anymore. I'm not tired or anything... I just, can't move properly. Orgasms with him are so powerful, and I feel this noodly post-orgasm state is negatively affecting me (and possibly him?!) when we have sex. Does anyone have any suggestions to help me, or perhaps at least suggest why this happens to me?

Tl;dr version: I go involuntarily limp for thirty seconds after orgasm during sex, whether he's done or not. Help!

Men are welcome too, I hope to get a "his" perspective on noodly women like me I emphasized body fitness in the poll because that's my main concern. Perhaps my overweight-ness is causing this...? (Answers are based on biology, not personal gender identity )
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
I am a woman, I'm in good shape, and this happens to me often.
3
I am a woman, I'm in good shape, and this occasionally happens to me.
32
I am a woman, I'm in good shape, and this never happens to me.
20
I am a woman, I'm not in very grood shape, and this happens to me often.
5
I am a woman, I'm not in very good shape, and this occasionally happens to me.
8
I am a woman, I'm not in very good shape, and this never happens to me.
15
I am a man, I'm in good shape, and this happens to me often.
2
I am a man, I'm in good shape, and this occasionally happens to me.
2
I am a man, I'm in good shape, and this never happens to me.
16
I am a man, I'm not in very good shape, and this happens to me often.
2
I am a man, I'm not in very good shape, and this occasionally happens to me,
4
I am a man, I'm not in very good shape, and this never happens to me.
2
I'm not sure what you mean by "noodling out."
1
Other (I'm sure there will be planty!)
4
Total votes: 116 (106 voters)
Poll is closed
01/27/2011
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Contributor: ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
I have never heard of this before, but if the wife was to do this it would not bother me much. Unless it was dangerous or something, them I would have cause for concern.
01/27/2011
Contributor: Mr. & Mrs. Peg Mr. & Mrs. Peg
I would probably be a bit freaked out if Mrs. Peg went limp after an orgasm. I would be afraid something happened to her, like a popped aneurysm or something. Glad you're okay!
01/27/2011
Contributor: MeliPixie MeliPixie
@Dwtim: It doesn't seem to cause me any damage, just both of us a bit of frustration ^^;; I'd like nothing better than to help him finish, but for up to thirty seconds, I just don't move well! To be honest, HIS orgasm is my favorite part about sex, not mine.

@Mr. Peg: Me too, thanks! ^_^ I love that you refer to one another as Mr. and Mrs. Peg, that's so incredibly fun and cute to me.
01/27/2011
Contributor: DeliciousSurprise DeliciousSurprise
I don't really go limp, but after a really intense session I get a bit wobbly and unstable for a few moments; my partner always makes me sit down because she thinks I'm going to topple over (I'm NOT, hmph).

It only happens, for me, when I've been pushing through for a megagasm, it doesn't happen with a regular orgasm.
01/27/2011
Contributor: KnK KnK
I get what you're saying and this happens to me. It's not that I can't move, it's just that I don't want to move (it's kinda like being high, cough, cough, who said that?). After an intense orgasm, my head goes completely blank and I'm just laying there. The most my mind can fathom is the word, "WOW."
01/27/2011
Contributor: Naughty Student Naughty Student
Quote:
Originally posted by KnK
I get what you're saying and this happens to me. It's not that I can't move, it's just that I don't want to move (it's kinda like being high, cough, cough, who said that?). After an intense orgasm, my head goes completely ... more
Same for me but when it happens I'm on my back and my legs just go haywire twitching dangerously, my SO gets scared I'm going to kick him during those really strong orgasms.
01/27/2011
Contributor: Miguel M. Miguel M.
Quote:
Originally posted by MeliPixie
I recently read a post where a woman was concerned about "spacing out" after she orgasms. I have something similar happen. I do not orgasm often during sex, mostly because I am afraid that this will happen when I do... I don't ... more
First, your orgasms are solid and very strong.

Second, congratulations you have successfully explored your sexuality, body, mind, and partner to know what best works for the two of you to WORK TOGETHER as a team for you to climax.

Third, you mentioned, "It's not long but it's long enough to feel his frustration that suddenly my body isn't cooperating with his anymore." OK, if he is becoming frustrated it may be due to his not realizing that your orgasm is "on", or activated. His view is quite logical...he experiences and may think that all of a sudden you are not cooperating, your lazy, or he thinks you have fallen asleep! If that is the case, then he views/interprets it to be that you are not working together as lovers do. At worst, he will take it as an insult or as a rejection.

Please try to understand this, he does not know when your orgasm takes off like a rocket. Your too quite when it happens or he has no clue its "on". His experience is that you...just go limp and stop working with him--that's what you described above.

THE REMEDY: Time to communicate and set some rules for what is the best manner for you to signal to him that your orgasm is about to start. A quick word yelled out at the last moment that is used to mean only 1 thing...an orgasm is starting! The agreed upon phrase is to signal the start of an orgasm just in time for the both of you to enjoy the marvelous experience that is a woman's orgasm.

Here are some suggestions from long phrases to short ones; "Houston we have take off!", "Home run!", "Touchdown!", "Red!(choose your favorite color)". I suggest a quick and short one at first, because not everyone is going to be able to recite their college alma matter fight song under such sweet duress as an oncoming orgasm.

Afterward reward him with what he needs; a warm embrace, whisper in his ear that he is your man, or return the favor with something kinky. Which ever you choose let him know that he is appreciated, accepted, and respected by you.

Have kinky fun,
Miguel M.
01/27/2011
Contributor: MeliPixie MeliPixie
@DeliciousSurprise: You two have sex standing up often?

@Twisted Finger: I've been known to utter that word. Sometimes I can even get out three! "That was amazing." It's amazing whether I orgasm or not though

@Naughty Student: Your legs twitch violently? I have never heard of that! Very interesting. Have you ever kicked him...?
01/27/2011
Contributor: MeliPixie MeliPixie
Wow, Miguel M., you certainly seem to know what you're talking about! Allow me to respond point by point

First, yes. They definitely are quite strong. I don't think I have ever experienced a weak orgasm, or one less than a seven or eight out of ten, with or without him.

Second, thank you! I didn't know until my girlfriends started having sex that a woman's climax was such a big deal. I mean, it's easy for us to bring ourselves, but men have trouble getting us there? I thought they were lazy, until I found my current boyfriend and we really hit it off with communication and exploring one another, which is always fun.

Third, Oh my god! I never thought perhaps he thought suddenly I wasn't interested! I sort of always assumed he could tell... I'm not exactly quiet in bed but I do have certain clues which I though were good tells when "Armageddon's a-comin." I sort of, uhm, start to chant the word "yeah," I feel my vaginal walls tighten around him (which he himself has commented to the effect of, "If you get much tighter I'm gonna cum right now...!") But then again right after the orgasm subsides, I can hardly move a muscle for that short period, which is where both of our frustration comes in.

On the other hand, when I orgasm, after we're done he asks me if I finished, whereas when I don't orgasm, he already knows and doesn't ask. I never thought of it before, but it occurs to me now that this might be his way of telling me he would like to know in the moment. Perhaps we could work toward finishing together, which would definitely be nice

I have definitely discussed with him my concerns about this noodling happening, and how I feel bad that I can't move after he gives me so much pleasure, even if he's not done. He says he understands and doesn't mind... but in the moment that it's happening, I know he is a little... annoyed? I might say? I will definitely take your advice. Maybe I'll shout "banana" the first time, just to get a giggle out of him. I know it will

In closing, your post was both informative and humorous. I found myself giggling and smiling and still feeling like you had something of worth to say. So. Thank you for your help! ~Pixie
01/28/2011
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
I don't mean to be rude at all but...how could your partner possibly be frustrated that you are having such a great orgasm that you go limp for a moment or so? Like...not only do I think that's incredibly hot, but if I were with someone and they had such a great orgasm I'd be ecstatic for them and proud of myself for playing a role in it!

There are some good suggestions above, but if your partner is getting frustrated that you're having fabulous orgasms then I don't think the problem is with you, lol.
01/28/2011
Contributor: Miguel M. Miguel M.
Quote:
Originally posted by MeliPixie
Wow, Miguel M., you certainly seem to know what you're talking about! Allow me to respond point by point

First, yes. They definitely are quite strong. I don't think I have ever experienced a weak orgasm, or one less than a seven or ... more
You're welcome Pixie.

Any time the ladies need assistance in understanding the male gender of the species let me know. We are a weird bunch...are'nt we?

Happy orgasms,
Miguel M.
01/28/2011
Contributor: MeliPixie MeliPixie
@Sex & Lies: Oh, no, no, no! My boyfriend's not a jerk or anything like that It's not just a moment or so. It's a good thirty seconds of me going unexpectedly limp. He's not frustrated with the orgasm, we're both frustrated with my sudden and involuntary inability to work with him to achieve the blissful goal I just reached a second ago

@Miguel M.: Yes indeed, you are. A mystery wrapped in an enigma and encased in a burrito. I really appreciate all your insight
01/28/2011
Contributor: kawigrl kawigrl
30 seconds isn't that long, i mean really hopefully he doesn't go limp in that short or a time period maybe try dirty talking to him if u can't really move, make sure you keep breathing the entire time probably something about the blood flow and adrenaline rush of an orgasm makes it difficult to move like a recovery state. It sounds like you could be enjoy sex more than what u are make sure ur partner is aware discuss that 30second gap im sure the 2 of u can come up with something interesting for him to do.....
01/28/2011
Contributor: Liz2 Liz2
It does happen to me but rarely. I have not been on top of him at the time. When it has happened, I have been super relaxed and aroused,lying on my back and had a super "O". Don't know how long it lasts but when I come to, I am momentarily confused.
01/28/2011
Contributor: MeliPixie MeliPixie
@kawigrl: Haha, you'd be surprised just how long thirty seconds of your partner not moving can feel, to a man who was also quite close to orgasm and now is being denied the cooperation from the nearly dead weight on his body that was his writhing, moaning girlfriend just a second ago ^^;;

@Liz2: I'm never confused, I know exactly what is going on, which only lends to my frustration even more -_-
01/28/2011
Contributor: SiNSaNiTy SiNSaNiTy
Quote:
Originally posted by MeliPixie
I recently read a post where a woman was concerned about "spacing out" after she orgasms. I have something similar happen. I do not orgasm often during sex, mostly because I am afraid that this will happen when I do... I don't ... more
This happens to me when I am on top almost always when I orgasm, but luckily my man knows what's going on, and also luckily for me, he is so glad that I am getting off that well, that he can wait the little bit for me to come back to..or, he'll just quick flip me over and take over doing the work, I guess I'm lucky like that.

I'm sorry I don't have any suggestions for you...except for that you are having a REALLY GOOD ORGASM
01/28/2011
Contributor: MeliPixie MeliPixie
Quote:
Originally posted by SiNSaNiTy
This happens to me when I am on top almost always when I orgasm, but luckily my man knows what's going on, and also luckily for me, he is so glad that I am getting off that well, that he can wait the little bit for me to come back to..or, ... more
Yes, indeedy, that's for sure Perhaps I should suggest it to him. I enjoy a switch in control and power and "who's doing the work," and all that. Usually it's me who's regaining control, it'd be a nice switch!
01/29/2011
Contributor: LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Quote:
Originally posted by MeliPixie
I recently read a post where a woman was concerned about "spacing out" after she orgasms. I have something similar happen. I do not orgasm often during sex, mostly because I am afraid that this will happen when I do... I don't ... more
All the time! And I am in very good shape.
01/31/2011
Contributor: 16one94@gmail.com 16one94@gmail.com
For the longest time, especially when I am on top I 'wigg out' when I orgasm. I know this frustrates my partner to no end. What I try to do when this happens is just keep some movement going and when I feel like I have half a brain again I give him some bonus attention. We often go through several positions and are never rushed during sex. We are both in pretty good shape and I feel it is a post orgasm thing having nothing to do with your fitness. I would not worry about it and encourage him to be patient and work with you to keep both happy.
02/03/2011
Contributor: DotCom DotCom
Quote:
Originally posted by MeliPixie
I recently read a post where a woman was concerned about "spacing out" after she orgasms. I have something similar happen. I do not orgasm often during sex, mostly because I am afraid that this will happen when I do... I don't ... more
My first girlfriend whenever she just had an orgasm will just say that she was tired and will fall asleep right away for a few minutes. Her orgasms were always intense too.
02/12/2011
Contributor: BadassFatass BadassFatass
I've never heard of this. I'm usually pretty exhausted after but still in control of my body.
02/12/2011
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
If he understands what's going on psychologically then physiologically there shouldn't be a problem. Men generally don't get too much of a let-down from stop/start, whereas 30 seconds of noodle can really set a woman back if she was almost there.

I don't think it was ever 30-seconds of inactivity, but I did have to learn to force myself to keep going if I orgasmed first so I didn't set her back. It's still very intense to keep going, but her orgasm is worth it. Try some things out. I imagine that as long as you come back strong (or perhaps you roll over and put him on top for a while) he'll recover from the rest pretty fast.
02/12/2011
Contributor: Envy Envy
Never have this problem.
02/12/2011
Contributor: BeautiFullFigured BeautiFullFigured
I voted other because this has happened to me only twice. (not occasionally or never) I just assumed it to be the result of a stellar orgasm.
02/14/2011
Contributor: BeautiFullFigured BeautiFullFigured
Quote:
Originally posted by 16one94@gmail.com
For the longest time, especially when I am on top I 'wigg out' when I orgasm. I know this frustrates my partner to no end. What I try to do when this happens is just keep some movement going and when I feel like I have half a brain again I ... more
Wig out how? I know sometimes when I'm near climax I feel a little like jello and my thoughts get fuzzy, but it passes fairly quick.
02/14/2011
Contributor: SexyStuff SexyStuff
I really like the noodle stage! Like my whole body built up to this incredible climax and now I just relax and relish it.
02/14/2011
Contributor: Fuck it. Fuck it.
I really don't understand somebody getting frustrated at their partner having a great orgasm because of them. Try explaining that it's a good thing, as other people have said. I've had similar things happen to me and other people. The consensus in my bed seems to be that its cute.
03/12/2011
Contributor: SexyStuff SexyStuff
I rarely finish first but often experience this
03/13/2011
Contributor: Elbert's Angel Elbert's Angel
Quote:
Originally posted by MeliPixie
I recently read a post where a woman was concerned about "spacing out" after she orgasms. I have something similar happen. I do not orgasm often during sex, mostly because I am afraid that this will happen when I do... I don't ... more
I have the same thing with my husband however he actually loves when this happens, kind of gives him the big head that he has done his job well. My husband however seems to have this insane control over his penis, like he has trained it to be patient or something, I don't know, this is probably why he doesn't get frustrated by it.
03/16/2011