The New Intimacy

How do you feel about re-gifting toys you don't like that much?

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Contributor: ToyGurl ToyGurl
Sometimes I get toys that I just don't like. I'm STD free and I get tested every two months, so I have no problem with re-gifting SOME of my toys. Only the non-porous ones. However, my roommate has herpes and she will gladly accept my non-porous toys that I don't like since she can't really get anything from me. I never take her toys, though, of course.

My fiance finds this to be totally acceptable since I'm not really spreading too many nasty germs, and I always (usually) try my toys with a condom first. I never really re-gift anything that wasn't tried with a condom. However, my friend Sarah finds it to be just disgusting no matter what.

When I re-gift, the other person ALWAYS knows it has been used. I never lie about anything like that.

What's your views? Would you do this?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
I am a female and...
61
I am a male and...
15
I would re-gift a non-porous toy if I didn't like it
33
I would re-gift a porous toy if I didn't like it
4
I would not re-gift any type of toy
28
I would not re-gift a porous toy
15
I would not re-gift a non-porous toy
7
It's gross to re-gift toys no matter what
15
It's not gross as long as you aren't spreading STD's
23
It's not gross as long as both people know the toy has been used once
38
It's gross to re-gift toys that are porous
24
I would only re-gift a toy to a family member
3
I would only re-gift a toy to a friend
21
I would accept a used toy that is non-porous
20
I would accept a used toy that is porous
2
I would not accept any used toy
40
Total votes: 349 (83 voters)
Poll is closed
06/03/2011
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Contributor: Coralbell Coralbell
I have swapped toys, and I don't think it's gross as long as they are non porous and have been sterilized. My boyfriend found out I was sending a toy to someone and thought it was disgusting, even though I tried to explain that it was silicone and I had boiled it. I neglected to tell him that I have used toys that were used by other people. I'm sure he would be even more disturbed by that, even though there is no reason to be.
06/03/2011
Contributor: K101 K101
I've thought about this a lot lately! I've really wanted to do it, but wasn't sure ya know? Anyways, I think there's nothing wrong with it as long as the person knows it's been used, you are 100% SURE you're totally clean and free of any infections/diseases and as long as you're sure the friend of fam member is OK with recieving them. I've thought about giving to me twin sis, but of course I'd NEVER give a porous toy EVER! I know she doesn't mind, but she's not taken one from me yet. I can tell she's interested and told me she'd like to try some so giving one I've never actually inserted or one that I'm sure is safe (I'd probably feel better if I had used a condom with it or if I boiled it) I don't see anything wrong with it at all as long as those things are in check. I've had friends who've told me they'd gladly take my used toys! I've had 2 that I hate & one was never inserted because it's too large and the other has been once, but it is porous so it will just forever remain in the CRAP drawer lol.
06/03/2011
Contributor: ToyGurl ToyGurl
Quote:
Originally posted by Coralbell
I have swapped toys, and I don't think it's gross as long as they are non porous and have been sterilized. My boyfriend found out I was sending a toy to someone and thought it was disgusting, even though I tried to explain that it was ... more
I know how you feel. I'm very very close to the people I send my toys to, and like I mentioned, I am STD tested frequently even though neither my partner or I have STD's. It simply comes with my medical package at the women's center.
06/03/2011
Contributor: Dusk Dusk
I participate in a toy swap though I tend to be more happy to swap my sterilizable toys for books and things of that nature. Even though I know things can be fully cleaned, it still worries me a bit.
06/03/2011
Contributor: Eliza Eliza
I considered passing on a sterilized silicone toy to a friend, but never ended up doing that. I think as long as both people know it's been used and it's been fully sterilized there shouldn't be much of a problem.
06/03/2011
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
I've swapped toys at least 4 times - but then again I always buy used cars. Recycling is a good thing. I'm very pleased with the swaps we have done.
06/03/2011
Contributor: Kindred Kindred
I don't have an issue with the use of a used toy that can be sterilized properly. However, I don't think I would actually ever give a used toy as a gift. I would either give it away, sell it, or swap it, just not with the pretense of it being a gift. I'm not big on the idea of giving anything used as a gift, although there are exceptions such as an antique.
06/03/2011
Contributor: ToyGurl ToyGurl
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
I've swapped toys at least 4 times - but then again I always buy used cars. Recycling is a good thing. I'm very pleased with the swaps we have done.
I just see it as a HUGE waste of money if you spend money on an expensive toy that doesn't fit your needs. It's very economical to swap or re-gift as long as you're clean about it.
06/03/2011
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGurl
I just see it as a HUGE waste of money if you spend money on an expensive toy that doesn't fit your needs. It's very economical to swap or re-gift as long as you're clean about it.
Agreed - I have some available if your interested! Elise, Bcurious & FF Share!
06/03/2011
Contributor: ToyGurl ToyGurl
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
Agreed - I have some available if your interested! Elise, Bcurious & FF Share!
Oh geesh those are both like 3 toys that I have wanted! Keep in touch, let me talk to my fiance about it. We just moved in together so now we're doing that whole "sharing money" thing since we are getting married next month . I'll beg him because I'm particularly interested in the Bcurious
06/03/2011
Contributor: ToyGurl ToyGurl
Quote:
Originally posted by Kindred
I don't have an issue with the use of a used toy that can be sterilized properly. However, I don't think I would actually ever give a used toy as a gift. I would either give it away, sell it, or swap it, just not with the pretense of it ... more
I guess when I said re-gifting, I didn't mean "wrapping up". More like "Hey, do you want this?" lol. But Yeah, if it was a birthday gift or something I would probably buy something new unless they wanted what I had and were okay with getting it. I never give away anything I've tried more than twice.
06/03/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
I've given toys to my best friend before, and I would again in the future. I wouldn't pass on anything like a jelly toy, but anything that's at least part silicone I'm ok with letting go to friends who might want them. I always make sure that my friend knows what's been used and how it's been used and that they've been cleaned thoroughly and still recommend cleaning again before use. I would never pass on anything without full disclosure about use though.
06/03/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
I would not regift a toy nor would I accept one.

I have worked in health care and used to daily see women who swore up and down and believed they were STD free, and then tested positive for many STDs. I've seen more cases of herpes that were believed to be re-occurring yeast infections, (many herpes sores are on the inside and aren't seen by the patient, and herpes can be transmitted even when the patient is symptom free) and cases of syph or gonorrhea that simply were not suspected and cases of genital warts that were symptomless or where the patient simply didn't know what she had. Not to mention the rare case of symptomless HIV that the patient didn't suspect.

I just can't justify "saving some money" when it is similar to having sex with that person, in terms of the risk of STDs etc.

People certainly can make their own choices, but I've always bought new and I always will. Toys that don't work get wrapped and thrown out.
06/03/2011
Contributor: liilii080 liilii080
I've thought about regifting but I just don't know how you say it and have it not come off gross...so unloved toys are collecting dust in the bin until I figure out how I want to purge them.
06/03/2011
Contributor: Ajax Ajax
It's not something I would do or accept.
06/03/2011
Contributor: ToyGurl ToyGurl
Quote:
Originally posted by liilii080
I've thought about regifting but I just don't know how you say it and have it not come off gross...so unloved toys are collecting dust in the bin until I figure out how I want to purge them.
The first time I actually gave a toy away was basically like this:

I tried the toy, didn't like it.
Went downstairs to trash it and my roommate said "NO DON'T THROW IT AWAY! GIVE IT TO ME!"

So that's how it started. I mean, I never give anything away that is porous, and most of my friends work at planned parenthood or the women's center WITH me. So I know they get tested. I actually never really take anything from anyone else unless I know it's easy to clean thoroughly. I've only accepted two glass toys friend a friend. Cool thing is, I really only use glass most of the time. So re-gifting isn't a HUGE deal.
06/03/2011
Contributor: The Curious Couple The Curious Couple
I don't think it's bad to re-gift toys, but I wouldn't personally do it.
06/03/2011
Contributor: SexyLilPixi SexyLilPixi
I personally wouldn't accept a used toy, but if a friend wants one of my toys I don't care for and knows that I'm STD free and if the toy has been used, that's their deal, imo. They can be as freaky as they want. Keeps me from having to throw it in the trash.
06/03/2011
Contributor: Starrr Starrr
I would re-gift a toy of mine, to someone close to me. Who knows that it has been used, & as long as they could fully sterilize it. I too, have no STDs or anything of that nature.
Although I would re-gift, I don't know how I'd like to accept a re-gifted toy... I wouldn't want to use something someone else has used.
06/03/2011
Contributor: Alan & Michele Alan & Michele
We give away nonporous toys to people all the time but we make it clear that the toy has been used, and if we think the recipient might not know any better we encourage them to bleach/boil the toy before they use it (even though Alan or I do that at least once before giving it). It's our little way of trying to instill in their minds that safety is just as important with toys as with flesh partners.

We would never give or take used porous toys though, even though we had one friend argue over a trash-destined Fleshlight by saying "It doesn't matter, I'd shag either one of you." Um... NO.
06/04/2011
Contributor: magicmac magicmac
I'm extremely germophobic (I'm pretty sure I got it from my father) so I would never accept a used sex toy.
06/04/2011
Contributor: Anjulie Anjulie
Quote:
Originally posted by The Curious Couple
I don't think it's bad to re-gift toys, but I wouldn't personally do it.
same here.
06/04/2011
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by magicmac
I'm extremely germophobic (I'm pretty sure I got it from my father) so I would never accept a used sex toy.
Ever use a rental car? Eat at a restaurant? Sit in an airline, bus or train seat? Sleep in a hotel? Had your teeth cleaned?

Admittedly these are no where near as intimate as sharing a toy. But you encounter dozens of things everyday that you share with the world.

Sterilization is a simple effective process - it beats living in a rubber suit to avoid having contact with things other people have already touched.
06/04/2011
Contributor: Liz2 Liz2
I will give non porous toys to friends but I sterilize them first and suggest the recipient do the same. I guess I just so dislike to trash perfectly good toys that I just don't like.
I too, have swapped toys with a few friends as a loan, to try them. Again non-porous and sterilized.
06/04/2011
Contributor: ToyBoy ToyBoy
I think that it is fine as long as it safe and has been sterilized, and both parties know where the toy has been.
06/04/2011
Contributor: pixieluv pixieluv
For non-porous toys, I would say yes, as long as both know that it's used. I would only do so if 1) I only used the toy once and found it was not to my taste and 2) if it's non-porous. Basically I want to keep my friends and use safety with them as well if I were to pass it on to someone else to get fun out of something I could not.

As another aside, sharing books and movies are great along with adult games and partner games. Share the safe love!
06/04/2011
Contributor: null null
I'd probably re-gift something like a glass dildo that I didn't like, but I'd like to be able to boil/fully sterilize the toy. Otherwise, no way.
06/04/2011
Contributor: ToyGurl ToyGurl
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
Ever use a rental car? Eat at a restaurant? Sit in an airline, bus or train seat? Sleep in a hotel? Had your teeth cleaned?

Admittedly these are no where near as intimate as sharing a toy. But you encounter dozens of things everyday that you ... more
Very good point!
06/07/2011
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGurl
Very good point!
Glad you see the logic in it - there's the ideal, then there's the real world. The real world is neither clean or sanitary. Our immune systems actually work better when they have some practice.

Doctors are now rethinking when to introduce solid foods - it seems that being too cautious ends up creating more food allergies.
06/08/2011