The New Intimacy

Little Safety Tip -- Don't Run With a Pot of Boiling Dildos

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Contributor: ToyGeek ToyGeek
Yeah.

I thought I had four hours. Naturally that meant everyone came home after 45 minutes. I grabbed the pot from the stove and ran for the stairs. This did not end well, but I suppose I should just be lucky I lived. That would have been a spectacularly embarrassing way to die. "Here lies ToyGeek, who died falling backwards down the stairs with a pot of boiling water."

Fortunately, all I did was splash myself and burn my leg. And, bonus, I avoided getting caught.

*whew*
11/10/2010
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Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGeek
Yeah.

I thought I had four hours. Naturally that meant everyone came home after 45 minutes. I grabbed the pot from the stove and ran for the stairs. This did not end well, but I suppose I should just be lucky I lived. That would have been ... more
HOLY COW! Might be safer to use a 10% bleach solution than boiling toys. I'm glad to hear you weren't seriously hurt! Would havemade for an odd autopsy and cause of death....death by boiling toy water....
11/10/2010
Contributor: ZenaidaMacroura ZenaidaMacroura
Wow. I'm sorry you got hurt, but I also laughed out loud when I saw this thread. Haha.
11/10/2010
Contributor: ToyGeek ToyGeek
Quote:
Originally posted by ZenaidaMacroura
Wow. I'm sorry you got hurt, but I also laughed out loud when I saw this thread. Haha.
Don't worry, I wouldn't have posted if I minded the laughing. And I'm pretty sure I'm going to live.
11/10/2010
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGeek
Yeah.

I thought I had four hours. Naturally that meant everyone came home after 45 minutes. I grabbed the pot from the stove and ran for the stairs. This did not end well, but I suppose I should just be lucky I lived. That would have been ... more
This should go in the FML thread!
11/10/2010
Contributor: ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Could I recommend a toy cleaner, I know one or two that are safer than a burn.
11/10/2010
Contributor: sarahbear sarahbear
You would have totally ended up on the 1,000 Ways To Die show.

Sorry you got burned. Was a nice laugh though.
11/10/2010
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
Yikes. Things you don't expect can burn you.
11/10/2010
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Oh man, I got myself trying to reset one of the hot heart massage pad things, fell back in the pot and splashed my stomach
11/11/2010
Contributor: Naughty Student Naughty Student
Quote:
Originally posted by sarahbear
You would have totally ended up on the 1,000 Ways To Die show.

Sorry you got burned. Was a nice laugh though.
Ha ha ha, I thought of the same thing!
11/11/2010
Contributor: Trashley Trashley
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGeek
Yeah.

I thought I had four hours. Naturally that meant everyone came home after 45 minutes. I grabbed the pot from the stove and ran for the stairs. This did not end well, but I suppose I should just be lucky I lived. That would have been ... more
Oh my god! After I giggled at the title I realized you couldve been hurt D: be safe! Hope your leg feels better.. dish soap does wonders with burns and be sure to use polysporn instead of neosporin because you can develop an allergy to neosporin at any given point in time. Safety first! ...then teamwork.
11/11/2010
Contributor: bzzingbee bzzingbee
I'm glad you're okay, but I feel like everyone is missing an important part of the story...are the dildos ok???
11/11/2010
Contributor: Destri Destri
I, too laughed out loud at this, and at bzzingbee's all important question. I never ran with a pot of boiling dildos (just writing that made me laugh again) but once, the kids came over for a visit and my hubby's pocket pussy was drying on a paper towel on the back of the toilet... he just remembered and ran and hid it in time. Not funny at all, but I do feel your (emotional) pain at almost getting caught with the toys out....
11/11/2010
Contributor: Viktor Vysheslav Malkin Viktor Vysheslav Malkin
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGeek
Yeah.

I thought I had four hours. Naturally that meant everyone came home after 45 minutes. I grabbed the pot from the stove and ran for the stairs. This did not end well, but I suppose I should just be lucky I lived. That would have been ... more
Well thank goodness you are alright, that is the best thing!

Thanks for the amusing sotry even though you almost got hurt
11/11/2010
Contributor: Kimbertrees Kimbertrees
I'm sorry that you got hurt, but that was probably the funniest thing I heard all day, and with my luck it would probably happen to me too.
11/11/2010
Contributor: Selective Sensualist Selective Sensualist
OMG . . . the VISUAL I got from reading this, LOL!!! When I realized this was not hypothetical and that you were actually burned by splashes of boiling water, I was sorry for laughing. I am so glad you were not injured much worse though.

The title of this thread is absolutely classic. (I just had to smile again from the vivid visual inspired by the title alone!)
11/11/2010
Contributor: Kindred Kindred
Admittedly, I thought this was going to be another game based on the title. State an obvious safety tip related to sex toys:

-Do not try to see how many vibrating toys you can insert in your ass at once.
-Do not use a plug-in vibrator during a power surge.
-Do not use flammable lubricants while handling a blow torch. (that's for Dwtim )

Seriously, I'm glad you were not seriously hurt.
11/11/2010
Contributor: Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
Definitely go with the bleach!
11/11/2010
Contributor: Bunnycups Bunnycups
I'm sorry you got burned. This is so funny because I could totally see this happening to me. I imagined a body laying on the bottom of the steps, a spilled pot of boiling water and a dildo with a bewildered family standing around.

Glad you didn't get caught. Ninja skills right there.
11/11/2010
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
I Nominate this as The Best Thread Title of the Week !

Honey, I'm glad you weren't badly hurt. Boiling water can do awful damage.

There's a product called "Burn Stuff" that has an antibacterial and benzocaine (it numbs the burn) in it. It takes the burn right out, smells to high heaven and works like 1000 time better than aloe.
11/11/2010
Contributor: Shellz31 Shellz31
OUCH!
I know it's a bit late now but a home remedy is mint toothpaste....cools it and stops the burning pain.
Only problem I find with using toothpaste is, I get the damn stuff everywhere before it dries...lol.
11/19/2010
Contributor: IndependentlyHappy IndependentlyHappy
Ouch, that had to hurt!

Sorry...this story did make me laugh, though. It's probably one of those things where it isn't funny at the time, but in hindsight it's hilarious.
01/25/2011
Contributor: PenelopeJohnson PenelopeJohnson
Thank you sharing that. Hubby and I cracked up. Hope your burn is better.
01/27/2011
Contributor: Jenyana Jenyana
Yikes, that had to hurt.

But yeah... that's not the way you want to go. I'm still trying to find a good contingency plan for the eventuality I die unexpectedly... I just don't want to have my sweet old mourning mother tearfully going to my things just to find my strap-on dildo collection hidden under my knitting stuff. ^^U
07/10/2011
Contributor: SexyLilPixi SexyLilPixi
OMG, I laughed at the title, but reading what happened, that isn't so funny. You really could have gotten hurt! =/ So glad worse didn't happen!

The thought of someone falling backwards with a pot full of dildos is freaking hilarious, but in all reality, a situation where someone can really get so hurt isn't.
07/11/2011
Contributor: anonomous anonomous
HAHAHA! I'm sorry! I'm glad your safe though!
07/11/2011
Contributor: Stinkytofu10 Stinkytofu10
Doesn't matter what's boiling, anything that contains or is boiling = do not touch.

sorry I did laugh a little, but I'm relieved you are alright.
12/06/2011
Contributor: DiscretionAdvised DiscretionAdvised
I hope its okay that I'm laughing!

Oh those close call, "OH CRAP" moments. What would life be like without them?
12/06/2011
Contributor: Lindsey123 Lindsey123
Mini heart attack?
12/07/2011
Contributor: ViVix ViVix
Quote:
Originally posted by sarahbear
You would have totally ended up on the 1,000 Ways To Die show.

Sorry you got burned. Was a nice laugh though.
LOL! I just thought of that show!
02/15/2012