The New Intimacy

Should it be socially acceptable for young females to masturbate and/or use sex toys?

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Contributor: ToyGurl ToyGurl
Hey everyone. My name is Mandy and I promote masturbation and safe sex in my area in hopes to lower the rate of teen pregnancy, STD, and abortions. Masturbation is good for anyone in so many ways, and I'm sure many of you know that since you are on a sex toy site! Masturbation, mutual masturbation, etc. can be substituted for unsafe sex as well.

In many places, including America, it is very taboo for young women under the age of 18 to masturbate or use sex toys. However, everyone knows men jack off, and not too many people have a problem with that. As I grew up, my younger brother of only 11 years old always got a lock on his door, and private time at night (obviously so he could whack it). However, I myself, NEVER got a lock on my door and was not even allowed to sleep without clothes on. I had several talks about why masturbation is not acceptable. I find it funny how something as private as masturbation is something that young girls are persecuted about. My best friends younger sister said she loves to masturbate to relax, but feels guilty about doing so. Please tell me your thoughts below and pass this poll on to your friends! I am using this poll in my studies at my next meeting No names will be used, just percentages.
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
Definitely not, masturbation is immoral for females and males alike outside of marriage. (explain)
lainebug , Mylo
2  (1%)
Masturbation is a sin or is not acceptable at all. (explain)
Masturbation under the age of 18 should be the parent's choice. (explain)
Yes, females should be taught and able to masturbate guilt free AND use sex toys if they want to. Even under the age of 18. (explain)
ToyGurl , sexyintexas , Ansley , uu , Ratito , pinkcupcakes , PiratePrincess , loveshocks , MaryExy , lolsos , REDRUM , barrettbn2 , amandaco2011 , teeny <3 , extrafun , Erotica Explorer , tim1724 , Mommy2 , ZenaidaMacroura , Darling Jen , jakjak , Willis2011 , sexyk515 , jjonk , bunny love , Mewt , salaciousrex , sarki , Smitty , sixfootsex , A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople) , Wondermom , Fullbeauty , liilii080 , Judas Iscars , Misfit Momma , kelaaa33wish , Lio , mb , alliegator , cujo467 , starsNairguitars , MissAnna , zracer , null , The Curious Couple , Tess , charcat , UnknownGirl , yrnw , sumie , toxie m , Owl Identified , LavenderSkies , *Ashley* , CafeSabroso , Ms. Paprika , Hadespark , Sex'и'Violence , cburger , lunapixie , Jackol , Miss Anonymous , Coralbell , Shellz31 , CharlieBrown , curmudgeoncat , EnMH , LostBoy988 , lovemuscle n cookie , thebest , ColorMeCute , RedGoddess , leanright69 , Wild Orchid , PropertyOfPotter , Jazz , Ms. Spice , aliceinthehole , Jenyana , MJ1337 , bayosgirl , Beck , potstickers , exploringthechimera , RonLee , ms.anon , Ghost , Screen Door , the other jo , Lucky21 , ChaosBunny , Pointillo , EJ , ellejay , cheetahpita , Breas , padmeamidala , Nothere , oldhippy , angel142stx , caligaliber , Liz123 , IslandGoddess , PurpleCat23 , Gone (LD29) , shepwing , Princess-Kayla ♥ , PussyPurr , Chul , Angelica , KittenPrincess , lilly555 , Howells , ilovemyclit , Zombirella , Bzz , scaredlittleboy , oneeyedoctopus , BlooJay , freda , Jon S , Stinkytofu10 , kitty377 , Sir , tigertiger , C-Rae , Ly-Ra , icyqueen , GirlOnGirl , rom323 , Kitka , SubmissiveFeminist , richsam , ghalik , Ahatmadeofshoes12 , Geogeo , jokerzwild , Kate , Bex1331 , roskat , meezerosity , Kinky T , vanilla&chocolate , Stagger13 , unfulfilled , TransMarc , Sohotdinosaur , kadytheredpanda , Azule , Femme Mystique , bh253 , Em2Theilee , Upyourreviews , prttynink , Falsepast , MaeGal , peachmarie , Apate , gsfanatic , Feisty , epiphanyjayne , Loriandhubby , SadoMas , tortilla , Ashley B , quantumspork , The Majikat , travelnurse , Lady of the Lab , Rin (aka Nire) , SneakersAndPearls , ginnyluvspotter , Melan!e , llellsee , Trysexual , bratcat , Checkmate , Shortc8ke , lovebites , Robespierrethecat , Nyx (Under the Covers) , CS2012 , vanillaSpice , apryls , Sima-pusya , mpfm , murphyx3 , allme1 , ElizaFetishx , xilliannax , KinkyNicki92 , Ivanna , Girly Juice , xGOLDx , novanilla , Pink Lily , LunaLuthor , Happenstance , Vanille , DrowsRose , SecretKinksters , Vaginas , molly , hwilliams0915 , kitty1949 , ArcaneBlast , Leather & Lace , Toy Fiend , sillylilkitten , falalena , edeneve , boxunderbed , Ren in the rain , FLIPxMODE , chicmichiw , Hoshigetsu , Meido , Qozt , hotinpink , Katelyn , Mx.Nekora , Sugarfina , Flower1 , lovingmylife , XxFallenAngelxX , GonetoLovehoney , DigitalSweety , John E W , amazon , ScorpioCurves , Chastity Darling , srexom , Violette Lacuna , Eugler , twelve13 , butts , aluminummm , kartoonkrazy , lilyflower , thePicklez , mdnght , gothicwhispers
243  (85%)
Females should be able to masturbated under the age of 18, but not use sex toys. (explain)
Joie de Cherresse , Rossie , DeliciousSurprise , swf , jzzrzz , K101 , LittleBoPeep , CAKES , newlady , CuteDee , Gunsmoke , DCorrelle , heidi.carls , hot n spicey , Dixiemomma , Tork48309 , Eva Schwaltz , indiechick , charmedtomeetyou , Fluffy Snuggles , Fun Lover , Bignuf , Nena , marriedlady123 , Coco85
25  (9%)
Only males should be allowed to masturbate (explain)
Other (explain)
Selective Sensualist , tigerkate , Kitt Katt , SamsDelight , newfoundlust , Avant-garde , Airen Wolf , ViVix , plaidvulva , NarcissisticLust , joolie , RedGlitter , Ayumi , CSM2010 , Allison.Wilder
15  (5%)
Total votes: 285
Poll is closed
04/27/2011
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Contributor: Selective Sensualist Selective Sensualist
I would have chosen "Yes, females should be taught and able to masturbate guilt free AND use sex toys if they want to. Even under the age of 18" IF one thing were not included: "should be taught."

I don't think boys are necessarily "taught" how to masturbate. I think masturbation should be respected as self-exploration and remain completely self-directed. If a child (male or female) wants to seek out advice on how to explore their bodies and pleasure themselves with better techniques, s/he should have this option. But seeking out information should be on their own terms, and I don't think we should be forcing information on them.
04/27/2011
Contributor: ToyGurl ToyGurl
Quote:
Originally posted by Selective Sensualist
I would have chosen "Yes, females should be taught and able to masturbate guilt free AND use sex toys if they want to. Even under the age of 18" IF one thing were not included: "should be taught."



I don't think ... more
Great answer! When I said taught, this is what I meant: something I come across a lot at the meetings with planned parenthood and other organizations is that girls don't know the anatomy of their lady garden. They don't know how to go about masturbation. You would be surprised how many young females do not know what their clitoris even is. If females do not know this information, they wouldn't know how to go about any of it. I have had several girls ask me for help on how to masturbate. Many girls don't have internet access at home, or their parents monitor everything they do online - thus comes the guilt. Thanks for the vote!
04/27/2011
Contributor: Selective Sensualist Selective Sensualist
When I was young (only in grade school), I accidentally discovered how pleasurable it was to grind against a hard wooden chair or metal chair while sitting, providing pressure and stimulation to my vulva and clit. I had no idea at the time what masturbation even was or that the pleasure I was experiencing was sexual. I only knew it felt good to do this.

My mother would routinely try to "catch" me doing this, suddenly bursting through the closed door of my bedroom to see if I was engaged in this activity. She would always shame me and demand to know what I was doing and why I was doing it. I never had an answer because I had no idea either. I just knew it felt good. She continued to try to "catch" me in any type of "inappropriate" activity even through my teen years and when I lived at home into my early twenties.
04/27/2011
Contributor: Joie de Cherresse Joie de Cherresse
I think it's perfectly normal and ok for a teenager to masturbate. In fact, I encourage it so they can learn their bodies. But I wouldn't want my teenage daughter to be using sex toys. I dunno. Maybe a bullet or something, but not a dildo. Maybe that's just me, but I can't fathom buying my daughters dildos under the age of 18.
04/27/2011
Contributor: sexyintexas sexyintexas
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGurl
Hey everyone. My name is Mandy and I promote masturbation and safe sex in my area in hopes to lower the rate of teen pregnancy, STD, and abortions. Masturbation is good for anyone in so many ways, and I'm sure many of you know that since you are ... more
I agree with Sexual Sensualist. A young man or woman knows what feels good to them so I don't feel that they should be taught how to use them. I think that they should be informed on how to keep their toys safe to avoid any mishaps. That being said I don't think that very young people should be able to go get a dildo, i.e. a 10 or 11 year old. Masturbation should not be frowned on though.
04/27/2011
Contributor: ToyGurl ToyGurl
Quote:
Originally posted by Selective Sensualist
When I was young (only in grade school), I accidentally discovered how pleasurable it was to grind against a hard wooden chair or metal chair while sitting, providing pressure and stimulation to my vulva and clit. I had no idea at the time what ... more
Same here! I thought I was the only one! I have actually been masturbating since I believe 5 years old. I would get in quite a lot of trouble for it as well. It all starting with one of those old rocking horses. I didn't know what I was doing until I was in the 7th grade, and by that time I had forgotten where that special pleasure spot was.

I didn't learn about the clitoris until I turned 17, and you wouldn't believe how hard it was to get back into the habit or coming to an orgasm. A very long frustrating road.
04/27/2011
Contributor: PiratePrincess PiratePrincess
I believe it should become more socially acceptable, but it should not necessarily be taught to young girls.
04/27/2011
Contributor: loveshocks loveshocks
I think that it should be socially acceptable for both males and females to masturbate as well as have access to toys (but what's considered socially acceptable and what's considered legal are two different things, since everywhere has different laws regarding 'adult' material).

After reading what you meant by 'taught', would you be suggesting that girls be taught via models (like plastic models) or drawings or show physically on the body where parts like the clitoris is? I have no issues regarding models or drawings, but I can see how real life models for showing where certain body parts would open a huge can of worms in regards to the possibilities of inappropriate touching or just parents not wanting their girls to be part of such a teaching moment.
04/27/2011
Contributor: tigerkate tigerkate
I voted other, for what SelectiveSensualist explained.


I also think you'll be hard-pressed to find anyone on this website thinking masturbation is immoral or a sin. (But who knows, I might be surprised.)
04/27/2011
Contributor: barrettbn2 barrettbn2
I think its ok
04/27/2011
Contributor: amandaco2011 amandaco2011
I think female masturbation should be more socially acceptable.
04/27/2011
Contributor: Kitt Katt Kitt Katt
Quote:
Originally posted by Selective Sensualist
I would have chosen "Yes, females should be taught and able to masturbate guilt free AND use sex toys if they want to. Even under the age of 18" IF one thing were not included: "should be taught."



I don't think ... more
I agree 100% with this.
04/27/2011
Contributor: Mommy2 Mommy2
It should be accepted
04/27/2011
Contributor: SexyLilPixi SexyLilPixi
I think it's so sad how the ignorance of some people has made young women feel they are doing something wrong. Masturbation is just wonderful, safe, & healthy all around.
04/27/2011
Contributor: Willis2011 Willis2011
I think so
04/28/2011
Contributor: SamsDelight SamsDelight
Quote:
Originally posted by Selective Sensualist
I would have chosen "Yes, females should be taught and able to masturbate guilt free AND use sex toys if they want to. Even under the age of 18" IF one thing were not included: "should be taught."



I don't think ... more
I totally agree. I do really wish parents would not provide the guilt to their children just because masturbation is an uncomfortable subject. Or just because they feel it is not right. I worked in a children's hospital and we did have parents bring their children in saying that something was wrong with them. Only because they had seen them playing with that area. Never once was the child a boy. It is a shame that masturbation is so wrong but, it seen's to be more and more common to have a teenage mother.
04/28/2011
Contributor: sexyk515 sexyk515
It should be accepted i was 13 or 14 when i start to do it but i did not have sex till i was 19
04/28/2011
Contributor: jzzrzz jzzrzz
I just don't think that the use of sex toys should be allowable, only because it feeds into the world of pornographic material etc. Every person should have the freedom to explore their own bodies, and masturbation should be an acceptable form of exploring one's own sexuality.
04/28/2011
Contributor: Mewt Mewt
I remember in high school when we did a fishbowl (anonymous questionnaire) in sex ed and when female masturbation became the topic a lot of girls treated it like it was some horrid thing to do. As if by doing so you lower yourself as a person. I don't understand why it's such a big issue. Girls should be allowed to do whatever they want without having to worry about what others think in that department and if it is such taboo than do it and enjoy it and just keep it to yourself and maybe close friends
04/28/2011
Contributor: salaciousrex salaciousrex
Males start masturbating at a young age, sometimes parents will even give them porn! But if girls start to masturbate it's a weird thing to most people.
Female masturbation should be talked about more and more acceptable.

I've talked to females between 19-21 about sex and most of them don't even know where their clit is, or when asked how they masturbate, clit or g-spot, they don't know which one it is they do.
Girls should be allowed to explore their body and encouraged to do so if that's what they want to do, just like boys.
04/28/2011
Contributor: bunny love bunny love
It should be socially acceptable for ANYONE of ANY age to masturbate. I also believe that teenagers should be allowed to purchase sex toys. Teenagers can buy condoms and lube and get birth control prescriptions. Why can't they buy something that will enhance their masturbation? And if they're going to use it with a partner, well, they've already got condoms and lube...

I would have been a much more pleasant person when I was under 18 if I had access to sex toys I sure as hell wasn't ready to have partner sex when I was a teenager, but I was incredibly curious about sex and interested in masturbation. Unfortunately, I've never been able to orgasm from only using my hands. I didn't have an orgasm until I was 18 years old and able to purchase toys. I remember being slightly worried at one point because I still hadn't had an orgasm. Lord knows I was trying!

Teenagers DESERVE accurate sexual education and safer sex supplies. Sex toys for masturbation and partner sex should be accessible, too.

Due to medical reasons, I don't know if I'll have children. However, I would be more than happy to give my child a gift card to a nice sex shop (no smelly jelly dongs!) or help them pick something out. I figure most teenagers don't want their folks to help them pick out a dildo though.
04/28/2011
Contributor: bunny love bunny love
Quote:
Originally posted by Mewt
I remember in high school when we did a fishbowl (anonymous questionnaire) in sex ed and when female masturbation became the topic a lot of girls treated it like it was some horrid thing to do. As if by doing so you lower yourself as a person. I ... more
*sigh* My boyfriend has a female friend that believes women who masturbate are "desperate." I totally respect someone who isn't interested in masturbating, but to say that people who masturbate are "desperate" drives me mad.

I'm not desperate. I'm horny and in hot pursuit of awesome orgasms!
04/28/2011
Contributor: jzzrzz jzzrzz
Quote:
Originally posted by bunny love
*sigh* My boyfriend has a female friend that believes women who masturbate are "desperate." I totally respect someone who isn't interested in masturbating, but to say that people who masturbate are "desperate" drives me ... more
Amen!
04/28/2011
Contributor: ToyGurl ToyGurl
Yes, in reply to those who still didn't really understand what I meant by being "taught"... I don't mean teachers sitting your children down and showing them HOW to masturbate. Alls I mean is that children should be educated about masturbation, what it is, and who to talk to if they would like to further explore their choice to masturbate.

I just sat down with a girl today at a local school, and she busted out in tears after telling me how her parents took away all of her privelages for even asking if it was okay that she masturbated. I found it astonishing that she felt as if she had to ask to do something that pertained to her body.

As many of you know, I am engaged, and me and my fiance do plan to have children. I don't necessarily want a 14 year old going shopping on Eden for toys as much as I do, but I do want my children to be able to masturbate when the time is right (usually around age 10 for most children, as it seems from my research at the health clinic). I want my children to know that masturbation is okay, and I would much rather them resort to it than sex itself. I am a Christian (surprise?) and I don't really like the whole idea of sex before marriage, although I do it myself. This may make me a hipocrite, but I didn't make this choice until I got more in touch with my spirituality recently. Now that I'm engaged, I don't see it as anything bad. But I would love for my children to see that they can experience pleasure outside of unsafe sex.

When my children near the ages of 16-17, and most likely will be having sex whether I would like that to happen or not, I would definitely promote the option of making sex toys available to them. Such as masturbators, dildos, rabbits. Not the kinky whips and tassels. Just things to accomodate their sexual health with masturbation. If I controlled laws, I would make sex toys available to youth 16 and up. I don't know so much about 15 year olds having sex toys. 16 seems about the age where we are getting unwanted pregnancies, STD's, etc. So to me, 16 seems about the right time to start introducing "options".

Besides, kids want sex because "it feels good". I hear this EVERY DAY. So why not show them that other things feel good? Better yet, other SAFER things!
04/29/2011
Contributor: ToyGurl ToyGurl
Quote:
Originally posted by bunny love
*sigh* My boyfriend has a female friend that believes women who masturbate are "desperate." I totally respect someone who isn't interested in masturbating, but to say that people who masturbate are "desperate" drives me ... more
That is so ignorant to even say such a thing... And I particularly like how she says that women are the desperate ones. What about the boys jerking away each night! I masturbate about every other night. On stressful weeks, you might find me going at it multiple times in a day. But does that make a female desperate? HELL NO! I have learned that the orgasm is the ultimate stress reliever. I don't think there is anything wrong with embracing your personal sexuality and self-pleasure.
04/29/2011
Contributor: newfoundlust newfoundlust
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGurl
Hey everyone. My name is Mandy and I promote masturbation and safe sex in my area in hopes to lower the rate of teen pregnancy, STD, and abortions. Masturbation is good for anyone in so many ways, and I'm sure many of you know that since you are ... more
As the father of two teenage girls, this is tough. I think they both pleasured themselves, but we did not ever teach them to use toys, and I am unaware of them having them. If I found that they had a toy though, it would be fine. The problem I have with your questions is the "teaching" part.
04/29/2011
Contributor: Wondermom Wondermom
Hell yes! not sure on the "teaching" part, but if I ever have a daughter, she will be told about masturbation and I will even help her buy toys if she wants. Toys can't get you knocked up.
04/30/2011
Contributor: Wondermom Wondermom
Quote:
Originally posted by bunny love
*sigh* My boyfriend has a female friend that believes women who masturbate are "desperate." I totally respect someone who isn't interested in masturbating, but to say that people who masturbate are "desperate" drives me ... more
Amen! I am not desperate, I just enjoy knowing my body and how to pleasure myself.
04/30/2011
Contributor: Fullbeauty Fullbeauty
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGurl
Same here! I thought I was the only one! I have actually been masturbating since I believe 5 years old. I would get in quite a lot of trouble for it as well. It all starting with one of those old rocking horses. I didn't know what I was doing ... more
I also learned at a very young age, I'm pretty sure I was about 5 or 6, that touching myself in certain ways felt good. My mother caught me and told me not to do it, but I didn't even realize what I was doing, and didn't understand why it was wrong.

I became sexually active at a very young age, losing my virginity at 14, and thankfully, since I had never stopped touching myself (even after constantly being told not to, and especially not after I knew what I was doing) I never had trouble coming to orgasm.

I think that girls should be encouraged to explore their own bodies, and learn about them. It shouldn't be a taboo to know how to please yourself. It may even help to prevent some girls from having sex too young, if they know how to take care of themselves.

Great question! I find all the responses really interesting!
04/30/2011