Teens and vibrators: Would you buy a teenager a vibrator? If so, which one?

Contributor: meezerosity meezerosity
My 16-soon-to-be-17 year old cousin has been coming to me for sex questions lately. I am glad she feels comfortable enough to ask me and speak open about her sexuality even though we are not particularly close since I know she isn't ready to open up to her step-mom (they don't have the best relationship anyway). She is a virgin and has been curious about vibrators. If she isn't ready to have sex then I encourage masturbation over putting yourself through something you aren't ready for. I told her about EF and she was really interested and asked if I would help her get a vibrator and which one would be discreet and easy to hide. I suggested the Lelo Mia because it is small, discreet, and she can plug it in to her laptop to charge. She likes it and wants the black one. Her parents aren't super tech savvy, they if they saw it plugged in to her computer they'd assume it was a flash drive or something, especially since it is black unlike the pink and fuchsia versions. Thoughts and input on the situation?

tl;dr - My teenage cousin wants a vibrator and I suggested the Mia, do you think it is okay for a teen to have a sex toy and would that be a good first vibe for discreet purposes?
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
No, teens shouldn't have toys.
Yes it is okay for teens to have sex toys and...
Zombirella , SimpleHedonist , Jake'n'bake , Ryuson , bayosgirl , Bodhi , DeliciousSurprise , ghalik , jldressen , LadyTL , CollegeFun2014 , solitudinarian , joja , vanilla&chocolate , LovesAPoet , Gunsmoke , KrissyNovacaine , Kitten has left the site , Sinfully , Stinkytofu10 , toxie m , ksparkles16 , sexykiss , gloomybear , pix , Mwar , rom323 , quackbuster , britanny0620 , vitriolicvertigo , pirata , PDXlady , Girly Juice , Airen Wolf , amazon , BG529 , ejrbrndps , Doll In Dungarees , icyqueen , Experiment , glitterbombs , luvslukin , joolie , heather-mooney , The Kitty , chelly411 , Icecrystals12 , LavenderSkies , lovebites , Llahsram , Do emu , Virgingasms , Alyxx , haley730 , Leather & Lace , RedKyuubi , Flower1 , Alyona , JennSenn , Lildrummrgurl7 , LoooveMonkey , SydVicious , Asher , bratcat , Wicked Wahine , snowminx , Checkmate , bog , KinkyKatieJames , Allison.Wilder , DreezzyyBabyy , Robespierrethecat , SMichelle , SaucyxGirl , JDear , Beautiful-Disaster , Pumpk1nPatch , nimr , Jenyana , Howells , JackRaiden , geliebt , libbyv , Tar2013 , sunflower , Pastafariette , karenm , Llewey , Eugler , oneeyedoctopus , RonLee , unicorn64 , geekchic
93
...I would get her the Mia
Zombirella , SimpleHedonist , Jake'n'bake , Ryuson , bayosgirl , ghalik , solitudinarian , joja , vanilla&chocolate , LovesAPoet , KrissyNovacaine , Kitten has left the site , Sinfully , toxie m , pix , Mwar , quackbuster , britanny0620 , vitriolicvertigo , PDXlady , Girly Juice , BG529 , ejrbrndps , Doll In Dungarees , Experiment , glitterbombs , heather-mooney , glasskitten , Icecrystals12 , LavenderSkies , lovebites , Alyxx , haley730 , Leather & Lace , RedKyuubi , Alyona , JennSenn , Lildrummrgurl7 , LoooveMonkey , SydVicious , bratcat , Wicked Wahine , bog , never shy , KinkyKatieJames , Robespierrethecat , SaucyxGirl , JDear , showgirl , Jenyana , Howells , sunflower , karenm , oneeyedoctopus , RonLee
55
...I would suggest something else (suggest in comments)
Zombirella , ghalik , Gunsmoke , Kitten has left the site , Stinkytofu10 , gloomybear , pirata , The Kitty , Llahsram , bratcat
10
...I think it is okay but I would not help her buy a sex toy
DeliciousSurprise , Geogeo , Master DarkWolf , Rossie , Terri69 , Dixiemomma , MaeGal , gsfanatic , insomniac9 , Supervixen , padmeamidala , Do emu , PeaceToTheMiddleEast , snowminx , Checkmate , Allison.Wilder , DreezzyyBabyy , marriedlady123 , blondie , Kitka
20
Other
kawigrl , DreamWolf , LittleBun91
3
Total votes: 181 (113 voters)
Poll is closed
06/03/2012
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Contributor: GingerAnn GingerAnn
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06/03/2012
Contributor: Zombirella Zombirella
I really don't know. I guess if I had a daughter and she came to me, I would buy one. With your situation, since she doesn't have much of a relationship with the step-mother then I think it is okay for you to get her one. It is better than her just going out and having sex just to do it and see what it's like.
The one you picked is a nice choice. I would also suggest MiMi, Salsa or Tango but if she picked out Mia, then get that one for her You want to get something she won't be afraid of or not sure about.

It's nice that she has someone she feels comfortable with to go to about these things.
06/03/2012
Contributor: bayosgirl bayosgirl
I would much rather have my daughter use a vibrator than have sex prematurely.
06/03/2012
Contributor: Bodhi Bodhi
Yeah, totally. I think something simple would be good, save the wild stuff for older.
06/03/2012
Contributor: Ryuson Ryuson
If SHE likes the Mia and thinks that it would be easy to charge and it has the functions she wants, I'd trust her instincts on that. It's really nice of you to do this for her, and it's great that she has someone that she can go to to talk about sexual things. That's something I really wish I had had growing up.

Go you!
06/03/2012
Contributor: kawigrl kawigrl
not sure
06/03/2012
Contributor: meezerosity meezerosity
Quote:
Originally posted by Ryuson
If SHE likes the Mia and thinks that it would be easy to charge and it has the functions she wants, I'd trust her instincts on that. It's really nice of you to do this for her, and it's great that she has someone that she can go to to ... more
Thank you! I wish I had someone to talk to growing up as well. We're probably going with the Mia, she likes that you can charge it via USB and it's one of the most discreet toys I've come across but it's good to shop around and compare things.
06/03/2012
Contributor: Master DarkWolf Master DarkWolf
I think it's fine but I wouldn't discuss such things with my kids. Call me old school, but it would be weird.
06/03/2012
Contributor: DreamWolf DreamWolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Master DarkWolf
I think it's fine but I wouldn't discuss such things with my kids. Call me old school, but it would be weird.
Other, as only my PreciousMaster has two lovely teenage kids I can't speak as if I had kids myself - but I assume I could talk about pleasure toys with them in a most casual way, as to me there is nothing weird about the whole topic of sexuality as long as the folks I discuss such things with don't misunderstand it trying to hit on me... ^^

I assume if I had to sit down with any of my Baby's kids I could be comforting enough and give mighty useful suggestions about what toys to choose, after making myself swallow my initial discomfort of course...

Though I always wondered at what point it is a good idea to have a vibe for example, because for some folks it helps in pleasure life with their mate, for others it becomes a psychological issue, and not everybody has someone around who could give useful advices to solve such problems... But I assume as long as you live in a healthy, harmonic relationship vibes can only increase the happiness, and for virgins... Well, I do think it's just "more romantic" to wait until you have had a mighty wonderful encounter with someone you love... But not necessary of course as some kids don't want to wait... Oh well, whatever one finds better... ^^
06/03/2012
Contributor: vanilla&chocolate vanilla&chocolate
I think it's great that she's coming to you, because not everyone is as open about sex. I would help her buy the vibrator, because I think it's better than having sex when she isn't ready.
06/03/2012
Contributor: KrissyNovacaine KrissyNovacaine
I think that teenagers should be able to explore their sexuality via masturbation. I don't see a problem helping her out.
06/04/2012
Contributor: Sinfully Sinfully
I think it's perfectly fine and I would get her the Mia if she has already checked it out and thinks that's what she would like.
06/04/2012
Contributor: Kitten has left the site Kitten has left the site
My own 14 year old sister has finally asked my mother to talk to her about sex. If she comes to me asking me about things since I'm closer to her then our own mother is, I will help her.

I don't see anything wrong with a teenager wanting a vibrator, especially if they are not ready to lose their virginity. If my sister asked me to get her one, I will. Probably not something that can plug into her laptop since the entire family uses it and never lets her have the darn thing, but probably something she can easily hide in her room.

But if mama is only going to snoop around for anything suspicious, I may not get her a vibe at all.
06/04/2012
Contributor: meezerosity meezerosity
Thank you everyone for your replies, next month is her 17th birthday and I told her I would get the Mia for her then as a gift rather than her giving me cash and using my card to order it for her. She's set on the Mia and after reading some reviews I kind of want one for myself
06/04/2012
Contributor: Stinkytofu10 Stinkytofu10
Quote:
Originally posted by meezerosity
My 16-soon-to-be-17 year old cousin has been coming to me for sex questions lately. I am glad she feels comfortable enough to ask me and speak open about her sexuality even though we are not particularly close since I know she isn't ready to open ... more
I would go for the Uma.
06/04/2012
Contributor: gloomybear gloomybear
my boyfriend bought me my first vibe when i was 16 i think its not a big deal
06/04/2012
Contributor: pix pix
I think that it is very nice of you to help your cousin like that, and I think it's perfectly acceptable for her to have a vibrator, I mean since that is actually designed for this purpose... (I won't even admit to some of the things I tried to use when I was a teenager, since I couldn't buy a vibrator)
06/04/2012
Contributor: Mwar Mwar
I think it took some guts to come to you (nothing against you, but I don't talk about sex to family AT ALL. Ack!), so I think she's a mature and thoughtful young lady who is interested in exploring, and this is a safe way to do it
06/04/2012
Contributor: gsfanatic gsfanatic
I think it's acceptable to get her one, not sure I would personally though. Congrats on being someone she could trust and get good advice from.
06/05/2012
Contributor: britanny0620 britanny0620
I think that it took her a lot of courage to come to you and talk to you about it, and from the sounds of it she went to just the right person. I think it's great you're willing to help her get one, and it sounds like between the two of you, you've done a lot of research. I think that's a great idea because of the rechargeable factor - but would also recommend something like the Mood vibrators because they seem discreet and are a lot cheaper. Those take batteries, however. If price isn't a factor, then the one you have picked out is perfect.
06/05/2012
Contributor: meezerosity meezerosity
Quote:
Originally posted by britanny0620
I think that it took her a lot of courage to come to you and talk to you about it, and from the sounds of it she went to just the right person. I think it's great you're willing to help her get one, and it sounds like between the two of you, ... more
Thanks! It's her birthday present so she's going to be chipping in for a portion of the cost/discount codes and such so it won't really be that much. Not having to buy batteries also factors in to keeping it cheaper over time.
06/05/2012
Contributor: HB042 HB042
You're an awesome cousin!
06/09/2012
Contributor: pirata pirata
While the mia looks pretty fantastic and really discreet, I wouldn't get something so expensive for a first toy. That's just me though. My first one was the le reve bullet vibe.
06/12/2012
Contributor: meezerosity meezerosity
Quote:
Originally posted by HB042
You're an awesome cousin!
Thank you I'm the black sheep of the family. Pierced, tattooed, goth, somewhat openly genderqueer and very vocal to disagreeing family members about LGBTQ+ rights so I think she figured if anyone was open minded and not rat her out to her parents it would be me.
06/13/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
If my daughters come to me and ask for a vibrator then I will do whatever they want. If they want me to buy one for them then great, if they just want a few suggestions then great, and if they just want me to know they are interested then great! I want my girls to know their own bodies before they start having sex...and if a vibrator will keep them from jumping into sex prematurely then I am ALL for it.
06/13/2012
Contributor: amazon amazon
Curious minds are going to inquire, and it's far better to be with you than random people. Some would try to stifle her, but that's the same reason we have pre-teens having kids... because some try to act as if nature can be prayed away. Good for her, and kudos to you!
06/13/2012
Contributor: BG529 BG529
it's deff better than her going out and just doing it. that could have a bad out come. i'd go with the mia
06/13/2012
Contributor: peachmarie peachmarie
I am a big advocate of masturbation over sex before your ready. If one of my cousins around that age came to me or even my younger sister i would talk with them and help them make healthy decisions.
06/15/2012
Contributor: Doll In Dungarees Doll In Dungarees
Quote:
Originally posted by meezerosity
Thank you everyone for your replies, next month is her 17th birthday and I told her I would get the Mia for her then as a gift rather than her giving me cash and using my card to order it for her. She's set on the Mia and after reading some ... more
I'd never really looked at the Mia before. Now, after checking it out, I want kind of want one for myself also!

You are seriously awesome cousin for being such a good person for her to come to! The Mia looks like a good choice to me. I think something rechargeable is more discreet than something she'd constantly need batteries for.
06/18/2012