Pirates 2: Stagnetti's Revenge (Blu-ray) by Digital Playground - review by married with children

This was my first bluray porn. I am impressed with the picture quality. Not sure about the sound quality (we have kids, so I can not play this in the living room with the surround sound), it sounded pretty good. Better then most porn's on the market. I think I will be getting more bluray porn in the future.

The story was pretty good, for a porn. It would be on the bottom of the b-list movies, if an actual action movie. But for a porn, the best I have seen. (I have not seen the first pirates movie). Stagnetti's Revenge follows the same crew (?) as pirates 1, on a quest for the kings lost blue marble. A blue marble with special powers. The marble was stolen by an evil Chinese pirate looking to use it to raise Stagnetti from Davy Jones locker. All so that we can have an epic final chapter of the movie, filled with sword fights and skeletons.

This is a porn, right? So there must be some hot sex? Well, there is some sex, but I would not call it hot. When the first scene came, I was really excited. It was Shay Jordan in a three way with 2 guys. I love Asians. And she is OK on the eyes, so I got a little excited prematurely. It is a great three way. The two guys take turns pounding her, and you can tell she likes it from the noises coming from her. The only part of this scene that sucked, was when she opened her mouth to talk. She was trying to sound like a Chinese woman who could not really speak English. It sounded like a cat dying. I can forgive her for that. After all, she is not a actress; shes a porn star.

It goes down hill from there. The next scene was another 3 way, this one with 2 girls. This three way got a little rough. There was some tit slapping, light choking, and pussy slapping. All three not my thing. Big turn off for me to see someone hit a lady. He did not hit them hard, but he did hit them.

The third scene was a lesbian scene. It had Jesse Jane and BellaDonna. (not too up on my porn star names, sorry) The were really going at it. Choking, hitting, slapping, dominating each other. Again, not my cup of tea. After watching two back to back scenes like this, I was almost ready to turn the movie off. But I wanted to see how the story ended. So I pressed on.

Next scene was kind of like a middle east orgy in a tent. It was a little weird, two of the main characters just sat their and watched the whole thing happen right in front of their face's. There is four couples, 3 are man/women, one was lesbian. There is some ass-to-mouth in this scene. Also something that bothers me. I see it bothers a lot of people on EF also. I find it gross, and it ruined the scene for me.

The scene that follows is man/woman. It starts off with some oral and PIV sex. When she tells him to stick it in her ass, you should have seen his eyes light up. I laughed my ass off. It is like watching a kid get a candy bar in his lunch box, when he was expecting carrots. But....then they go from ass to mouth, to ass, to mouth, and so on. Again, why do they need to do that?

Next scene is a MFF three some. This one is between Stagnetti, Jessy Jane, and I believe Katsuni. The girls pleasure each other and him. He takes turns fucking both of them. Then he sticks it in Katsuni's ass. Which in its self is fine. But when he is ready to cum, Jessy Jane sticks his penis in her mouth and sucks his load, then snowballs it to Katsuni. Where the take turns playing with it. If it wasn't ass-to-mouth, that would be hot.

The following scene is between Jesse Jane, Shay Jordan, and a guy. More of the stupid Chinese accent, that does not work. Some girl on girl play, light slapping, and a lot of screaming. This scene was alright, could have been better without the slapping.

The last scene is another MFF three some. BellaDonna is in this one. Again, they get rough. Some more tit slapping and spitting, and ass -to mouth, salad tossing, and face slapping. Way over the top for me.

Above covers the basic sex scenes in the movie. The scenes are super fast. Like they cut a ton of footage to make room on the disc for the pirate story. I am talking 2 to 3 minutes fast. They are only in each position for 15 seconds, then it cuts to a different position. They have included the entire sex scenes on the bonus disc, in the collectors edition. So you can go back and just watch the sex scene or scenes you enjoyed, without the story killing the mood.

The bonus disc also includes a behind the scenes slide show, a behind the scenes making of, special featurette, star interviews, bloopers, making of FX, casting call, deleted scenes, trailers, and the pirates premiere party. So you get a lot of extras on the bonus disc.

I really dont have much to add to this review. This movie, although a pretty well filmed porn, just is not exciting enough to get a lot of tv time. It might get pulled out of the stash once a year or so, but cant see it getting more air time then that. We have our list of favorites that get played all the time. Although they do not have the story line this movie does, we can relate to the sex scenes better then we can with this one. The ATM and the rough hitting/spanking sex was just enough to push us away from putting this title on our favorites list.