I tried to like this movie, I really did. I gave it more chances than it really deserved, and still I can’t bring myself to like it. It really is a shame, because this movie has all the pedigree of a top notch film, but sadly, it’s nearly unwatchable.

The DVD is set up well enough. The special features are standard for the course, with your usual behind the scenes, gallery, and trailers. Not really much going for it there. There are breakpoints at every camera or position change, which is a good format. There’s no lengthy intro animation on the DVD menu either. The cast is good as well, starring Teagan Presley, Tory Lane, Sophia Lynn, Kinzie Kenner, Lindsey Meadows, Skigh Phoxxx, and Daisy Marie. All of the actresses put on their best, and most of them are wearing very nice lingerie. The male talent isn’t bad either.

So what kills it? The filming does. Not the film quality (The quality is spectacular), but the filming. The entire film is shot in slow motion with what can only be described as ‘epic’ music playing. I’m not a fan of music in porn, but I don’t usually dock any points for having it. Unfortunately, the music in this film is not only out of place and off-putting, but there is no other sound. They completely cut out all the actual noise. This might not sound like a big deal, but sex without any sex noises at all just seems weird. The songs range from fantasy epic scores to piano solos to music that wouldn’t be out of place in an opera. The tempo doesn’t always match, and really detracts from the whole experience. Also, because there are no real sounds, the actors and actresses have to sell it that much harder, and end up overacting. It comes off really cheesy and forced.

I get what they’re trying to do with it. They’re trying to sell it as ‘classy’ porn, but it just doesn’t work. Every scene has a different lighting scheme. Some are blue, some are dark, some are bright, and some are shot at strange angles. Honestly, it feels like some college film student decided to make a movie after taking one or two classes. The actual scenes themselves don’t look bad, but the slow motion just draws it out for far too long, and the music is just distracting. The scenes aren’t varied either. If you watched it at regular speed, it would be just another mainstream porn. There is one girl on girl scene, maybe half a scene of solo masturbation and the rest are just straight scenes. There are really no anal scenes and not really much variation otherwise.

I watched this movie on three occasions, but it never did anything for me. Each time I shut it off and switched to something else out of sheer boredom. I’m going to give it two stars out of respect for the excellent casting and film quality, but it really doesn’t come together. If you played it at normal speed and turned off the music, you might have a three or a four. As it stands though, this film is boring, distracting, and not worth your time.