Time Waster.
This is only a good buy if you're the type that can get off to anything. There are many porn DVDs out there that can entertain you more, hell, there are short erotica stories on this site that are more enjoyable.
Published:
Pros
Condom use most of the time, the second scene is somewhat enjoyable.
Cons
Generic, bad acting, long nails, last scene completely ruined by a photo shoot.
Opening: Low quality commercials that you cannot skip (other than fast-forwarding), shoddy title screen with a few options to view the 'many' positions (only 5), scene selection (5 different scenes), and interviews.
Scene 1:
Annoying/boring interview at the start, it's better quality picture-wise than the actual porn.
Stalker-like approach in the park interaction with the typical jock-looking guy and fake-tanned, implants and bleach-blond hair woman. It somehow leads to a bathroom where an awkward face-eating scene erupts then segues to dry humping and really rough fingering. But what crappy porno wouldn't be complete without fake moaning sounds? This is completed with crappy camera angles that show off none of the good action (very little of that here) and horrendous lighting that constantly changes.
Random awkward things: She's got long nails and hard, pancake-looking implants, while he has severe razor burn on his junk. At least they do use condoms in the scene.
Even when the blowjob scene appears, it looks VERY awkward and she's clearly not enjoying herself. SUDDENLY, they're in an odd mat-infested room to finish things off with basic sex positions, tit-fucking and a cumshot. Then 'making of the scenes' happens, it's dull and yet the picture quality is better than the porn.
Scene 2: ANOTHER interview!
Regular-looking guy and Asian girl with her hair tied up.
This scene opens up with an awkward striptease to lure the guy in from the jacuzzi/kiddie pool? on the patio that happens to be directly outside of the bedroom. A blowjob scene occurs, but much better than the last one, she's actually enjoying herself and doing a damn good job with the deep-throating. Onward to the regular intercourse (condom worn) with lighting and angles that are better but still iffy at times.
More random awkward things: Scarily long nails (talons would be more fitting), being too focused on her long hair, and a scene that can only be described as:"I WHIP MAH HAIR BACK AND FORTH!"(intentionally misspelled).
Suddenly, she undoes her hair and boy, there's a ton of it! I didn't mind it at first, but then she started pulling her own hair in a non-erotic fashion and chewing on it. The guy looks like he knows what he's doing and doesn't seem to be roughly attacking her girly bits like most porn I've seen. The angles get horrible right before he finishes...on her face. (Ow, stingy much?)
Scene 3:MORE talking
The plot of this next one is absent, a photo shoot in a barn where one of the girls is masturbating off-camera. Of course, someone has to help her out with random fondling and eating out in the most boring fashion complete with bad camera angles. The photo shoot is over, apparently and the girl in the background hangs around, ignored and she looks rather bored to be there. It's rather distracting. Oooh, there's flies hanging around too? Awesome, let's not get rid of those for the final cut for the porn. Of course a condom is on the guy magically (even though he looks rather limp and is dripping with spit from her apparent efforts to get him up) and he goes at her in the 'doggy' style, finishing off on her tits.
Random annoyances: Animals randomly in and out of the shot, flies everywhere (gross) and the poor bored girl in the background. There was an angle where he looked like Gollum from Lord Of The Rings too, creepy.
That's pretty much it, there's not much fun to be had here, it kind of grossed me out.
Scenes continued below due to word restrictions!
Scene 1:
Annoying/boring interview at the start, it's better quality picture-wise than the actual porn.
Stalker-like approach in the park interaction with the typical jock-looking guy and fake-tanned, implants and bleach-blond hair woman. It somehow leads to a bathroom where an awkward face-eating scene erupts then segues to dry humping and really rough fingering. But what crappy porno wouldn't be complete without fake moaning sounds? This is completed with crappy camera angles that show off none of the good action (very little of that here) and horrendous lighting that constantly changes.
Random awkward things: She's got long nails and hard, pancake-looking implants, while he has severe razor burn on his junk. At least they do use condoms in the scene.
Even when the blowjob scene appears, it looks VERY awkward and she's clearly not enjoying herself. SUDDENLY, they're in an odd mat-infested room to finish things off with basic sex positions, tit-fucking and a cumshot. Then 'making of the scenes' happens, it's dull and yet the picture quality is better than the porn.
Scene 2: ANOTHER interview!
Regular-looking guy and Asian girl with her hair tied up.
This scene opens up with an awkward striptease to lure the guy in from the jacuzzi/kiddie pool? on the patio that happens to be directly outside of the bedroom. A blowjob scene occurs, but much better than the last one, she's actually enjoying herself and doing a damn good job with the deep-throating. Onward to the regular intercourse (condom worn) with lighting and angles that are better but still iffy at times.
More random awkward things: Scarily long nails (talons would be more fitting), being too focused on her long hair, and a scene that can only be described as:"I WHIP MAH HAIR BACK AND FORTH!"(intentionally misspelled).
Suddenly, she undoes her hair and boy, there's a ton of it! I didn't mind it at first, but then she started pulling her own hair in a non-erotic fashion and chewing on it. The guy looks like he knows what he's doing and doesn't seem to be roughly attacking her girly bits like most porn I've seen. The angles get horrible right before he finishes...on her face. (Ow, stingy much?)
Scene 3:MORE talking
The plot of this next one is absent, a photo shoot in a barn where one of the girls is masturbating off-camera. Of course, someone has to help her out with random fondling and eating out in the most boring fashion complete with bad camera angles. The photo shoot is over, apparently and the girl in the background hangs around, ignored and she looks rather bored to be there. It's rather distracting. Oooh, there's flies hanging around too? Awesome, let's not get rid of those for the final cut for the porn. Of course a condom is on the guy magically (even though he looks rather limp and is dripping with spit from her apparent efforts to get him up) and he goes at her in the 'doggy' style, finishing off on her tits.
Random annoyances: Animals randomly in and out of the shot, flies everywhere (gross) and the poor bored girl in the background. There was an angle where he looked like Gollum from Lord Of The Rings too, creepy.
That's pretty much it, there's not much fun to be had here, it kind of grossed me out.
Scenes continued below due to word restrictions!
Experience
Scene 4: Continues boring interview talking before the scene.
There's a couple outside watching some random girl having fun on a tree swing. The guy approaches and boring stuff happens, kissing, fondling, etc. She wanders over to the woman sitting in the background and more kissing/fondling occurs. Again, back to the man, more of the previous happens, then suddenly, threesome on the couch of a random house. They're naked and frisky, when a random dog walks by and I notice that the guy's badly shaven here too. The scene consists of: Girl on girl eating out, ass eating/licking, a bit of face sitting, toy use, and inconsistent fucking.
There are a few good things: The guy is skilled in what he's doing instead of making the girls do everything, they use a toy and there are actual close-up shots for penetration.
Random annoyances: Several random background distractions consisting of a person, two different dogs and the original female half of the couple is ignored almost all the damned time. A jelly toy being used on one girl only, but with no condom. (The guy wears a condom and changes it with each girl, thankfully.)
Scene 5: The interview, again.(and the final scene)
Now this one looks promising, a light bondage setup and two women. FUCK, they can't let me have one good scene in this DVD, can they? It's a photo shoot, complete with flashes from the cameras and full view of the filming crew. I don't want to see that in my porn!
An overview of the scene: there's light clit spanking as a warm-up, then she brings out a rubber dildo with no condom on, awkward tit-fucking occurs. For once, no one has awkwardly-long nails.
They have some fun in what looks like an old gynecologists chair, (I would enjoy this if it weren't for the crew being visible and pictures being taken) then cut to a shower scene with random creepy guys looking on, they seem to be playing around more than anything. It's light porn for the easily entertained, I suppose.
I honestly didn't like this DVD, so I explained the scenes as best I can. There were a few scenes that would have been arousing if not for one or more GLARING things that kept me from fully enjoying it.
This porn DVD was so bad that I had to invite my friend over to get through it and have another point of view on this thing. The above review was a collaboration of our notes. I didn't enjoy it at all, there were some promising parts but too many glaring distractions kept it from being likable. I now know why there weren't any reviews at all on this waste of time.
There's a couple outside watching some random girl having fun on a tree swing. The guy approaches and boring stuff happens, kissing, fondling, etc. She wanders over to the woman sitting in the background and more kissing/fondling occurs. Again, back to the man, more of the previous happens, then suddenly, threesome on the couch of a random house. They're naked and frisky, when a random dog walks by and I notice that the guy's badly shaven here too. The scene consists of: Girl on girl eating out, ass eating/licking, a bit of face sitting, toy use, and inconsistent fucking.
There are a few good things: The guy is skilled in what he's doing instead of making the girls do everything, they use a toy and there are actual close-up shots for penetration.
Random annoyances: Several random background distractions consisting of a person, two different dogs and the original female half of the couple is ignored almost all the damned time. A jelly toy being used on one girl only, but with no condom. (The guy wears a condom and changes it with each girl, thankfully.)
Scene 5: The interview, again.(and the final scene)
Now this one looks promising, a light bondage setup and two women. FUCK, they can't let me have one good scene in this DVD, can they? It's a photo shoot, complete with flashes from the cameras and full view of the filming crew. I don't want to see that in my porn!
An overview of the scene: there's light clit spanking as a warm-up, then she brings out a rubber dildo with no condom on, awkward tit-fucking occurs. For once, no one has awkwardly-long nails.
They have some fun in what looks like an old gynecologists chair, (I would enjoy this if it weren't for the crew being visible and pictures being taken) then cut to a shower scene with random creepy guys looking on, they seem to be playing around more than anything. It's light porn for the easily entertained, I suppose.
I honestly didn't like this DVD, so I explained the scenes as best I can. There were a few scenes that would have been arousing if not for one or more GLARING things that kept me from fully enjoying it.
This porn DVD was so bad that I had to invite my friend over to get through it and have another point of view on this thing. The above review was a collaboration of our notes. I didn't enjoy it at all, there were some promising parts but too many glaring distractions kept it from being likable. I now know why there weren't any reviews at all on this waste of time.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the
FTC guidelines.
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Btw, "I WHIP MAH HAIR BACK AND FORTH!" cracked me up.