Lap dancer - harness and dildo set discontinued by Sportsheets - review by Airen Wolf

The Lap Dancer from Sportsheets is my first foray into harness play, and so far it's been a blast!

The harness is made of good, high quality, soft neoprene which makes it very comfortable and easy to keep clean. Simply pop it into the washer on warm water cycle, dry it on the fluff cycle and it is as good as new. When I washed mine I did not notice any fading or fraying. The air dry made sure the plastic ring did not get too hot and melt, or burn the fabric. That brings me to one downside of the harness; the plastic ring is sewn in to the harness making it impossible to change the size or shape of the ring. The ring diameter is 1 1/4" which could limit the size of the dildo useable with this toy.

The weight of the harness is just half a pound which makes it very easy to maneuver and use even for the complete novice. With frequent use I have not noticed the loop side of the harness becoming frayed, though I expect that over the years it will begin to fray somewhat and require a shave to keep it looking good.

The seams on the harness are stitched with heavy duty thread and are reinforced, I did notice a few threads sticking up but they were easily clipped and burned away. The harness is easy to put on as it just wraps around the thigh and Velcro straps hold it secure. The straps are well placed and create a harness that is sturdy and doesn't slide around easily. There is some give in the neoprene but it isn't so stretchy that it will allow the harness to slip off which makes the harness comfortable and lets the skin breathe. It tends to wick away moisture, which also helps to keep the harness where you want it.

The harness comes with a beautiful purple silicone dildo which is 5 1/2" long most of which is insertable. It is a rather slim little guy but firm enough to provide a good solid ride. For anal use the dildo is perfect if you aren't used to larger sizes, or you prefer smooth dildos to ones with bumps and textures.

It is slightly curved and can reach the "g" spot nicely on myself, though I have a rather easily accessible "g" spot and, some women might not find it to be long enough to do the trick. It hits and strokes the "p" spot nicely for my husband though, again he has never had much problem locating his and some guys might also find the dildo to be too short or too slim.

The silicone material make this little guy a dream to clean. It can be sterilized by boiling, or by being in the top basket of the dishwasher. A good washing in hot water with the same soap I use to clean my private areas, followed with a good spraying of an antibacterial cleaner leaves this toy sparkling. When we play anally we use a condom to cover the dildo just to make clean up even easier but with silicone this is a much more personal choice. It saves time if we wish to move from one partner to another without stopping to disinfect the dildo as well. Just pop off the condom, add another one and off you go!

This is a pure silicone dildo so it's best to use only water based lubes with it, as some silicone lubes interact with the silicone in toys causing them to undergo a sort of monster movie melting process. Store the dildo in a cool dry area away from other silicone toys, just to be sure it doesn't react and begin to try to merge with the other toys.

The dildo did have a funky smell just out of the package, as though some fragrance was added during the creation process. After a few cleanings the smell has faded and is not noticeable even to my heightened senses.

The harness comes packaged in a plastic sleeve box, which is surprisingly easy to open given that most plastic boxes almost make you look for a blow torch or chain saw to get them open. It is not discreet, as the insert has two half naked models clearly demonstrating how the harness is used along with the caption "The best lap dance you'll ever experience" blazing on the cover. The box could be used as a storage device for the harness, if the insert were removed and the dildo were folded into the harness, provided you didn't get one of those demonic packages that caused you to rip it open like a gorilla on crack.

My husband has developed a desire to try anal play and this harness allows me to play with him and, as he puts it, get a feel for what it's like to really fuck someone! With this type of harness we can indulge our love of fantasy roleplay, as well, while my lover is still so far away. It's great for attaching either to the headboard (ours has spindles across it that allow us to attach the harness to it without scarring the wood) or to a lower part of his leg. It creates a senario where I can pleasure him while pleasuring myself which brings us as close to what we have when my lover is here as we can get.

The more we use this toy the more interesting things we find to do with it! It is wonderfully versatile and the grommet is large enough that it will fit most sizes of dildo except the very very large ones. The Velcro has held up to repeated openings and closings without unraveling. Washing the harness has not resulted in any color change either. All in all I still recommend the toy!