Cucumber - traditional vibrator by Topco Sales - review by Nashville


Traditional vibrator by


Rubber Material Properties
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A Sex Toy with a Sense of Humor!

When I opened the box I laughed harder than I ever had before. I'm tired of looking at masturbation as a serious event, I need more fun.. .and this vibrator is fun!
It's fun. What's better than a vibrator that looks like produce!
It was more noisy than it was powerful, it's also made out of a really porous material.
Rating by reviewer:
extremely useful review
Masturbation is supposed to be fun. There are times where I enjoy being serious but lately I've realized how vital it is that I kick back and let loose.

I laugh, a lot. I have a sense of humor that goes unmatched when I'm around those I love the most. I go out of my way to make someone's day better with a joke, and yes, I'm one of those email spammers that send daily jokes because I believe more people need laughter in their lives. One of my friends decided to play on my sense of humor and surprise me with a treat for my birthday. There's really only one thing I love above all else, a new sex toy. So, what did she choose for me? The Jolly Vibrating Cucumber from Topco.

I'm glad I have a good enough personal relationship with someone where they'll buy me not only a sex toy for my birthday, but a ridiculous sex toy for my birthday. This is a cucumber, that vibrates! I will admit, I've never tried produce to masturbate with, I never really had the desire to. In the kitchen my husband and I do flirt with food that resembles our genitals but it's never gone beyond that. I remember watching a video a while back of a girl masturbating with a cucumber, so if that's your fantasy than this vibrator is for you!

As far as vibrators go, it's pretty basic. There's nothing incredibly remarkable about this except that it's shaped like a cucumber. It's made out of a very common material, rubber, and I found it remarkably soft and easy to insert. A tip I want to give is that because it's rubber, I recommend putting a condom on it. Rubber is insanely porous and hard to clean, no matter how hard and long you scrub there's always a chance that some bacteria will linger behind.

The vibe has a a diameter of 1 1/2" which is the same of one of my top vibrators, the Eager Beaver. One of the perks that separates this vibe from others is that it has raised bumps on the rubber sleeve, however they really only make a different during initial penetration. It's moderately sized and has just enough girth to keep you satisfied. My husband says it's one of my bigger vibrators but I disagree. I never feel stretched when using it, I do feel comfortably full, but never stretched. I will admit that I don't use it very much, in fact, I've used it more as a conversation piece than a vibrator.

It's a fun vibrator, that's all that matters. It's a change of pace from the "serious" vibrators that most of us love so much. This vibrator will make you laugh and will even give you 50 reasons why a vibrator is better than a man. This was one of my favorite gifts and when my friend's Bachelorette Party comes around I'll be giving her one too!
Follow-up commentary
I just want to update about my friend's Bachelorette party. This toy was an absolute HIT, everyone was in stitches when she pulled it out of the box. To make things even sweeter, we hid it inside of the salad bowl... no one had any more salad to eat that night but it was hilarious seeing her aunt grabbing the vibrator with the salad tongs and then asking us why no one bothered to chop up the cucumber! If you want to have a good laugh you have to consider getting this, it certainly is a "novelty".
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Do you like this review?
  • Man, I wish it were made of silicone or even plastic!
  • Epiphora, I'm right there with you. But because it's rubber, the option to wear a condom is still readily available. It's unfortunate though, a silicone cucumber would be extraordinary!
  • Nashville
    Does anyone have any questions about the Cucumber?
  • Owl Identified
    I love the idea of using this as a gift! I haven't seen one of these in so long!
  • Nashville
    I know, right? It's a whole lot of fun. Smile
  • ~LaUr3n~
    I wish they more fun shapes like this! Good review.
  • Tart
    I've always enjoyed a good cucumbering!
  • angel142stx
    great review
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