XL pet pump - penis pump by Topco Sales - review by Kmonkey

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Awww now I feel inadequate.

If this product stayed in place better, or wasn't so damn difficult to hide I might like it better. I think it would work great for guys who are a little larger than me and have trouble getting it up but it just doesn't fit the "Average" Penis. Sorry other Average sized guys, go with a smaller version.
Does get me hard, though that could just be due to fumbling around with my penis.
Too big to store or wash discreetly, repetitive wrist motions can cause injury.
Rating by reviewer:
useful review


The XL Pump is, for me, a two handed toy. I have to use one hand to keep the toy firmly clamped down on the base of my penis and the other hand to manipulate the actual pump. The basic design of the toy is to stimulate increased blood flow to the shaft of the penis via vacuum thereby making it temporarily larger and harder than it may normally be. Personally I would be surprised if this toy worked for anyone with a penis less than three inches in diameter and less then twenty minutes of free time that they could use to pump the toy. I would use this toy on any occasion when you feel like being fun and or freaky and have the play time available to you to make use of the toy in the first place.

Material / Texture

I like the material. It's a very smooth plastic tube with no extra smell or taste (Yes I taste test even this kind of toy) coming from the tube, the base, or the suction-y grip-y bulb part. It's a firm Base that wraps around the head and without a little bit of lube would be problematic to get an average to large size cock to fit into. I was able to use just a small amount of water and slide right in, but I'm on the lower end of size scale, guys with more gifts in that area should use some kind of targeted lubricant, like Astroglide. There's really no question of the material being for newbie's or old pro's but I suppose someone who has been dealing with pumps for a long time might want something a little more... textured. Just for stimulation's sake.

Shape / Design / Size / Fit

The design was simple, and fairly easy to use, I had a moment of difficulty using the bulb pump until I realized you had to really "Break" it in, basically by applying as much pressure to the bulb as you can. I'd love to say that this pump blew me away, but honestly. It didn't really do anything for me at all. It's too big for starters. Well too big for average guys, and I just couldn't spend that much time pumping, trying to get a good and proper vacuum to seal without getting a little bored by the whole experience. This toy is DEFINITELY not discreet, or easy to hide. In fact the best use I can think of it is to leave it out on "Accident" And trick people into thinking you are MUCH bigger than you really are. I wouldn't take it with me anywhere and actually had to clean out a dresser drawer just for this monstrosity. I mean, it's gotta be a foot long. At the least.

Care and Maintenance

This toy, I could see it giving me some difficulty with proper cleaning, I don't think it would fit comfortably in most dishwashers and unless you've got a very specifically sized brush cleaning the tube out could prove to be quite a hassle. Works well with any lubricant and won't decay on contact with other toys. I'd like it, if it did anything for me, but the combination of my small size and it's much larger vacuum chamber makes it a real chore to actually accomplish anything with.
Follow-up commentary
I've tried using this pump a few times since I wrote the original review and sadly, not much has changed. I tried shaving the area which is a suggestion I found online of why pumps don't suck very well sometimes and really saw no improvement. I think if anything, it's suction power has gotten worse. I will probably be tossing this toy next time I clean out the drawer, hopefully to make room for a smaller, less novelty size penis pump.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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  • LicentiouslyYours
    Thanks for the review Smile
  • Kmonkey
    your welcome
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