Caribbean Heat, produced by Candidia Royalle, is touted as being a porn movie exclusively for women. Catering to a woman’s desires, Caribbean Heat was created to give women an adult video that would provide a more realistic feel than most on the market today.

When I received this video in the mail, I was more than curious about how a porn might be tailored to fit my desires entirely. I, myself, enjoy watching porn. I am rather particular about the kind that I watch, yet I am not fazed by the more hardcore types available. Nonetheless, I was interested in what Caribbean Heat might offer me.

The video is set entirely in Central America, using local actors. There are five chapters, each with a different story line, presumably designed to ignite a woman’s fantasies.

Throughout the film, the sex becomes increasingly more prevalent, with the first chapter having minimal sex scenes to the last having two couples swapping partners. I was surprised at how little time was spent on the actual sex. There was more buildup than you would expect from your typical porn. In the first chapter, they spend most of their time running around the beach, naked and laughing. Only for the last few moments do we see them engage in any type of sexual activities.

Some scenes seemed a little more ridiculous than anything else. I realize that most porn can seem that way in the beginning, but usually you quickly get to the sex. In this film, a lot of time was spent leading up to sex. And the lead up was bad.

One chapter had a guy follow a girl into an internet chat room where they sent each other instant messages for about ten minutes. We got to see each message as it was being typed painfully slowly. It seemed as though an equal amount of time was spent on that as the sex.

Another had the guy leading his ‘maid’ around the house on a leash to feed his birds as foreplay. What??

The last chapter was the one that irritated me the most. It had all the buildups of a classic porn scene. A couple is walking on the beach and stumbles upon another couple having sex. I’m just waiting for them to jump in, but no. Instead, they hide behind a rock and peak around it, giggling and pointing. Eventually, both couples end up swapping partners and having synchronized sex right next to each other on the beach. There is no contact between the couples, just sex inches apart.

What was missing was the obvious attributes tied to porn. There was no hardcore fucking. No penetrating close-ups. No money shots. There was, however, the cheesy music and the bad acting. Normally, I can handle the acting and the music because I’m really in it for the sex, but when there is more bad acting than sex, I might as well just buy a normal love story from the store. At least I know that I will get decent acting abilities from the actors.

I guess I would recommend Caribbean Heat to a couple who is perhaps curious about the world of porn and have yet to experience that realm. An aid to introduce your wife or girlfriend to porn without scaring her off.

To everyone else, I would not recommend this DVD. To watch it left me more frustrated than I was before. And isn’t that supposed to be the point of watching porn? To ease frustrations.