Nina Heartley's Guide to Simultaneous Orgasms - dvd by Adam & Eve - review by Backseat Boohoo

(NOTE: this review is long and is split between the review and experience sections.)

While I'm a huge Nina Hartley fan, I had my doubts about this particular guide. I've seen how simultaneous orgasms are romanticized in bad Lifetime movies, and HBO television shows, and I hate how they make it seem like both partners should orgasm at the exact same time. Anyone who's had sex knows that simultaneous orgasms are actually very tricky and that, more often than not, one partner will orgasm long before the other. Thankfully, Nina - ever the honest lady - immediately points out that orgasming simultaneously is not a beginner's trick.

This particular guide is divided in to four sections: an opening discussion, two separate demonstrations, and a concluding discussion.

Before they get in to the heart of the discussion, actresses Nina Hartley and Kayden Kross immediately point out that simultaneous orgasms are not easy, despite what popular movies show us, because everybody's "orgasmic process" is different. It is also important to remember that you and your partner don't necessarily have to orgasm at EXACTLY the same moment to achieve relatively simultaneous orgasms. We can't always know what's going on with our own bodies, let alone our partner's, but that enough conversation, careful planning, and consideration can help partners achieve simultaneous orgasm. Another important myth the actresses debunk is that "simultaneous orgasms should be the expected end to every sexual session"; rather, Kayden and Nina explain that most partners come in turns so they can focus on one another and relax, rather than treat the whole session like a daunting quest.

The discussion then moves in to a list of techniques that may help partners achieve simultaneous orgasms. First and foremost, they repeat that you shouldn't work too hard on achieving a simultaneous orgasm, and treat it as the sole purpose of sex, as all of that obsessive concentration makes a simultaneous orgasm less likely. Secondly, each person must be in tune with their partner's orgasmic process, as well as their own, allowing them to slow down or speed up as is necessary. Usually, it's the man who has to hold back, since the friction of PiV sex is often enough to get the man off, so Nina provides some tips to help men alter the amount of stimulation they're receiving. Next, Nina brings up an oft-forgotten detail: simultaneous orgasms don't have to happen during penetrative intercourse. In fact, masturbating together is a great way to figure out how to make simultaneous orgasms occur. Kayden suggests speaking to your partner after this process to get a better hold on the experience and what your partner enjoys. After all, "even the most seasoned sexual partner is NOT clairvoyant." Finally, Kayden and Nina explain how coital alignment technique (or CAT) works.

The first demonstration is a threesome including Nina Hartley and an attractive married couple, Devin Lee and Marcus London. The chemistry between all three partners is amazing, and they put the previously-discussed techniques to good use. Namely, they're all honest with each other: Devin and Marcus admit they've never attempted simultaneous orgasms during a threesome, and Nina admits that she prefers to orgasm simultaneously during a threesome by watching the other two partners have sex while she masturbates. The whole process takes about 30 minutes, and it's totally wankable, thanks to the time and care all three partners take to pleasure one another and the comfort level between them.

The second demonstration is a heterosexual scene between Kayden Kross and Erik Everhard, with EriK supposedly interrupting Kayden's game of pool. They make me think of a cute California couple, all blonde and young and cute and be-decked in latex. Because this is the second demonstration, there's no discussion, and the whole affair is meant to be merely visual. This is a good scene, with lots of giggling, panting, begging, orgasming, and eye contact, although Erik really only contributes to the "eye contact" portion of things. Kayden and Erik play a little rough with each other, grabbing hair and pushing each other around, but it's nothing too violent. Honestly, this scene isn't quite as appealing to me as the first scene. (Then again, I'm a sucker for unrehearsed group sex, so my opinion is biased.)

The conclusion is short and sweet. Obviously, Nina and Kayden don't add any new information, but they do go over the main points of the initial discussion, and they remind couples to simply enjoy sex.

The bonus features are so-so. There's the usual porn spam, including trailers and weblinks, but there's also a bonus sex scene from Kayden Exposed, as well as a standard behind-the-scenes feature, a photo gallery, and some interviews.

As per usual, this Nina Hartley Guide is a nice-quality DVD, although it isn't quite up to par with popular HD porn flicks. Be prepared for the long-winded, explicit Adam & Eve advertisements at the start of the film; they literally run for about 2 minutes before you hit the main menu. The menus are simple, clean, and professional, with a patterned blue background and some fancy white text, but no animations. The video quality is pretty good, although the camera shakes a decent bit during the demonstrations, and the sound can get echo-y from time to time, thanks to the construction of the demonstration room Hartley always uses.

My only main beef with this DVD is that, like most Nina Hartley guides, it focuses mostly on sex between a man and a woman. The first demonstration revolves around a threesome, true, but the bulk of the discussion and the included techniques are rather heterosexual-specific. That being said, this is still a nice DVD, rife with information and a few sexy scenes, and as always, Nina Hartley's up-front honesty about what's what and how it's done makes it all the more informative.

I have added a few personal notes and some screencaps to my blog, located here.