Giving Myself The Finger

The ophoria finger vibe should be fantastic for clitoral stimulation...it should be exciting for a vaginal teaser...it should probably function on some level. After playing around with the ophoria for what seemed like days, I figured out that if I pinched my nipple and simultaneously ran the finger vibe over it, I'd get mild stimulation. I also figured out that if I penetrated myself with a larger toy then put the ophoria on top of it, I experienced mild vaginal sensations. Yet, the ophoria really can't stand on its own. This is going to be an item that you have to couple with another item (or possibly some weird fetish) in order to be satisfied. If I were male or if I were a female with nipples that weren't particularly sensitive, I'd probably skip over this item altogether.

The ophoria is made of silicone. For some reason, I thought that this would make all the difference. After all, I can just pop the bullet right out and sterilize it. However, the lack of texture is dissatisfying. Some ridges, bumps, or grooves of some sort could've really helped this product out. In addition, it has to be lubricated to minimize the drag of the material. Have you ever had a singular really wet finger on or in your lady parts? It's just not that stimulating (in my opinion)! The only area that does have any texture is the loop where your finger is placed through. I guess the little nubs are supposed to keep your finger secure. I really really don't understand that part, but I'll delve farther into that in the design section. In an attempt to say something positive about this product, at the very least it doesn't really have a smell nor taste.

From Eden's product page:
Color:
Assorted
Length:
3 1/2"
Insertable length:
2 3/4"
Circumference:
2"
Diameter:
3/4"
Weight:
0.8 oz

I found it a little bit bothersome that you cannot choose a color with this item. I mean, it won't make or break the sale, but it would've been nice to have the option. On another note, I am utterly fascinated with the design. How exactly is it supposed to function? If you put your finger through the loop to secure the toy, you basically shank yourself with the point. I've tried other finger vibes, and the idea isn't to use 10% of the toy (the tip in this case), but rather it is to be able to slide the length of the toy up and down. Also, your finger is secured over the on/off push button, which makes it extremely easy to accidentally turn the vibration off. Finally, this requires 2 watch batteries. On a bright note, 4 extra batteries are included (aside from the 2 already in the finger vibe).

There is an on/off push button. There is only one vibration setting. Basically, this is a very basic control setup, and anyone will be able to figure it out quite easily without instructions (although a small information manual is included). The item is splash proof according to the manufacturer. Aside from everything else, I am amazed at how quiet the ophoria finger vibe is...when it says "whisper quiet," that's exactly what it means. Last but not least, information included with this item tells the user how to hold the item in order for the vibrations to transfer properly (as opposed to being absorbed into your hand).

There is included information just for the purpose of caring for the ophoria. Basically, make sure your batteries work, and wash the silicone sleeve with soap and water before use. Then, dry with a lint free cloth. Now comes the interesting part...while it mentions cleaning after every use, there are no recommendations for care AFTER the use of the ophoria. If I base care and maintenance after other silicone items, do not store this next to other silicone toys. Boil it, use a bleach solution, put it in the top rack of your dishwasher, or just wash with soap and water. However, I think that this sleeve is a little thin/weak for some of these methods. Also, I don't own a special lint free cloth for toys, so I don't know exactly what to recommend.

This is the kind of packaging that makes me want to give up. This comes in a clear plastic case. The back of the case should be pretty simple because it has a perforated square. It seems like you just pull on that square, and it would come off. However, the perforated square broke about every inch that I pulled it back. I ended up getting jabbed and trying not to cut myself. Then, there is the product information paper, and it is actually quite difficult to get it out in one piece. Let's say that you make it past both of those issues...now there is ANOTHER clear package around the item. I really just want them to simplify their packaging for this item.

I did read through the information booklet, and I understand the concept of the design and some of the better intentions. However, I think that execution was still incredibly off. Therefore, I must say that including information on how to make a crappy product work on a moderately pleasurable level is still quite unimpressive.