You can't top any sex toy that has "squirmy" in the name. Although I tend to stay away from Doc Johnson's ultra-commercial line of toys, something about this one was enticing. I anxiously awaited my assignment to arrive, hoping to be impressed by this space age vibe.

Two things that were disappointing. First, the vibe itself is not entirely TPR Silicone [Editor's note: This is porous material, so cover when sharing]. It is just a sleeve over a plastic shaft. I was sad. Not that this is a bad thing, it just was a disappointment. I do not see any way to remove the sleeve, but the cold, unforgiving plastic makes this toy less appealing in theory. Secondly, the lack of a rotating head. I am not sure why (note of sarcasm), I just expected this thing to SQUIRM. Was I wrong?

Well, there are three rows of rotating beads about mid-shaft, and I was pleased to notice that they weren't the scattered beads that just wiggle in place. They are "ball-bearing" beads, silver and aligned, moving in unison in a swirling vortex of novelty. They rotate in either direction, but without speed options.

The clitoral stimulator is a strange looking job, much like those little "pincer bugs" you find crawling on the floor in the middle of the night. Two extended "prongs" with the appearance of a nice reach. Powered by a bullet. Again, only two options here, just two speeds to choose from. This vibe is pricier than others that have more functions, so I expected a little more "oomph." Perhaps a randy session with the SSS would be enough to convert me to a Doc Johnson lover.

I will also mention that the battery compartment is one of the most secure I have seen on a toy. You actually unscrew the end, then you have to unlatch a lid that fits over top of the batteries. This squirmy vibrator|Silver streak squirmy is also waterproof, although I am not anxious to put my toys in the bathtub.

So, alone and anxious, I slowly soaped up my new pal. Ensuring it was clean for the night, I left it out to dry and fetched my lube (water-based only folks). I set about my task, and turned on the rotating beads. One warning, this function is loud. They emit this tedious whirring sound that drowned out quite a bit of the noise from my television. Not so good for discreet play. However, discretion was not necessary for me, so I didn't pay attention to it and set about my business. The texture of the material is divine, very smooth and soft. The ridges on the shaft are enough for a little extra stimulation, but not too prominent to make them irritating. The rotating beads added a little extra zip to the ride, but the shaft needs to be inserted quite far for them to be stimulating. I switched on the "pincer bug." In comparison, this function was not nearly as loud as the beads. Only two levels of vibration, the buzzing was enough to do the job, but could have been stronger. With the toy inserted as far as it can go, the prongs hit me just below my clit. It felt good, but really needed to be direct contact. This was easily adjusted by using my free hand to pull the pincers up and onto my clit. I could have came fairly quickly, but I wanted to savor it. TIP: I turned the toy upside down and let the pincers do a job on my backdoor, and the sensation was yummy.