Posh silicone pleasure pack - bullet discontinued by Cal Exotics - review by maskedpuppy

So for once I actually have more gripes about a toy than praise. That's unfortunate, because I really wanted to like this toy. Although I'm not fond of the wired design (especially because the wire is quite short) it looked like fun and the shape of the bullet's sleeve seemed very enjoyable. Unfortunately, I was disappointed in nearly every way.

Right off, I was a little disgusted with the shipping. It showed up in a plain white padded envelope (not a box, like every single other toy I've bought) of the type meant to carry important documents or flat hard packages like a CD. The box for the toy had been crammed in there so there was already an awkward stretch to the envelope itself, and by the time it got through the rough transit of post office to post office, the paper was ripped and shredded in places, exposing the toy's packaging. Oh well, I'm not shy; I shrugged it off and pulled the package out - and was instantly worried. I honestly thought I might have a D.O.A toy on my hands. The box isn't hard plastic or anything that I'd expect to be shipped so poorly, it's just flimsy, rubber-coated cardboard, and was COMPLETELY crushed around the toy itself.

Luckily it seemed fine when I pulled it out of the package (well, actually all I had to do was tip the broken, mangled box it came in and out it slid into my hand). This toy DOES take 2 AAA batteries which it does NOT ship with, so make sure you're prepared if you decide to take a gamble on it! I plugged in the batteries and went to town, first on my boyfriend, then on myself.

Although the bullet is an awkward shape to try to use on a penis, I did it anyway because screw the rules! This toy isn't marketed toward couples, so I can't fault it there, but it was weird to try to use it on him. This is when I found my first really big gripe with the toy - the ring around the button lights up and flashes in sync with the vibration pattern. This sounds cool, but in practice it's actually really, really irritating. No matter; I just hid the controller (which is awfully chunky, by the way) in one hand while I used the bullet on him with the other.

My second big complaint is that this toy is LOUD. I've had some noisy toys in my life but this one takes the cake - it sounds like a lawn mower. With the sheath of a silicone sleeve as well as being corded I would have thought it'd be relatively quiet, not to mention the general high-quality feel of the toy (the LEDs are annoying, but hey, they do look pretty high tech, and the whole toy is put together quite nicely as far as visuals go). Nope, it's just as buzzy as any cheap bullet purchased at a cheap novelty shop. In fact, I have a tiny bullet purchased at one of those places for $6 that's one speed, but WAY more intense in vibration and ridiculously quiet in comparison to this toy!

After finishing him off, I decided to use it on myself, but I found it extremely hard to get into the mood once I actually started going at it. The light on the controller is the worst, but the "easy touch" button is also incredibly loud and 'clicky'. Switching speeds felt almost embarrassing! To turn it off, you have to hold the controller button for 3 solid seconds, which isn't a great help if you need a subtle toy or live in an area where you're likely to have your privacy interrupted.

The LEDs are so bright that in a reasonably dark room, it's super distracting. I WOULD NOT RECOMMEND THIS TOY FOR ANYONE WITH A HISTORY OF SEIZURES OR MIGRAINES! It has a very strong strobe effect that is NOT hinted at, or listed on the packaging at all. This could very easily bring on a negative effect and I really hope it never comes to the point where California Exotics gets sued for a medical issue due to it.

For the record, my boyfriend mentioned that he only really felt the lower, rougher speeds, so there were only really three or four of the options that he actually found useful. For maximum enjoyment I positioned the bullet just below the head on the underside of his shaft, and rolled it around a little. Even with frequent breaks, he went numb pretty quickly since the vibrations are of the type that are super high frequency with no real rumble to them.

I was pleased enough with the silicone sleeve used on the bullet, which is removable by the way. As always the silicone was very comfortable to insert and to withdraw, and the cord seems stable enough that I wasn't concerned about using it to tug the bullet back out. Altogether the production quality of the toy was great; the ABS was shiny and clean of any flaws or noticable seams, I was pretty disappointed by it in use. The bark is definitely worse than the bite and I'm not interested in the volume of a toy if it doesn't have the performance to match.

The ten speeds felt very minimal since most of them were either too light and buzzy to feel, or too low and buzzy to enjoy. The 'fluttery' ones were too awkward to really get into, though I usually really enjoy the uncontrollable aspect of those settings. There wasn't enough variance to really hold my interest. However, the curve to the sleeve did a decent job at hitting my G-spot with minimum effort and when I did find a setting that worked for me, that same curve acted as a great direct-contact tool to help utilize the toy to its fullest potential.

This toy is NOT waterproof, so be very very careful what you decide to do with it. The cord is coated so it doesn't seem like the type to break easily but I wouldn't tug on it extra hard. The sleeve is easy to remove and clean, but the bullet itself doesn't detach from the cord!