Don't get too excited about this toy just yet, you have to find batteries. Yup, that's right, all the foreplay of opening the package, and it doesn't even come with the AAs needed to get it turned on.

Once you deal with this dick's power insecurities, things start looking a little better. The vibe is strong enough to be entertaining, but not overwhelming. It's noisy, but no more so than other vibes at the same cost. The bullet seems of solid construction (I might even daresay hard); the controller is a little questionable, but not overly so. I just wouldn't recommend it ever being underfoot during a romantic romp. And if you're looking for length over girth, this toy is definitely your man. He can boast over 3 feet of cord.

When taken for a test drive, this dick was "hear occasional bumping against the wall", but certainly not "hear screaming through the wall". The description's suggestion of using the bottom of the dick's head to cradle one's clit was about as successful as if one tried to do so with a penis more to scale - it simply wouldn't fit right. It was awkward to get everything lined up (am I in?), and very quickly shifted anyway. The dick shape is novel, but not terribly functional.

The controller fared better than most in it's price range. The connection between the controller and the cord was surprisingly sturdy. It provided for a variety of levels of sensations, with smooth transitions. Be careful though, it is all too easy to accidentally turn it off when endeavoring to lower the vibration. As with all premature ejaculation, patience and practice make it easier to control.

I find the juxtaposition of the penis bullet with the curvy controller quite ironic. But with a dick at the end of a cord, some gender play is to be expected, if not encouraged.

While this toy's shape has been the brunt of many size jokes, it's still not a favorite. To be honest, I can't remember the last time I used it. I'll let you know if I come up with anything creative for it.