Mini metropolitan ribbed - discreet massager by Cal Exotics - review by KittyMeowMeow

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Toad, As We Have Named Him

Do you like big things in small packages? The Mini Metropolitan packs a big vibration into a little ribbed vibe.
Strong vibe, easy to use, easy to clean.
Loud, poor screw-on-cap design.
Rating by reviewer:
extremely useful review


This little guy is fantastic! I'm a mega power-loving vibe kinda girl, and for its size this vibe really packs a punch. Thankfully it's also a good size for use during sexy times with my boyfriend, although (as I mention below) it is a bit on the noisy side. With its mighty vibrations and multiple varying speeds and patterns, this toy quickly became my favorite solo item.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Any couple
    • Busy women
    • Everyone
    • Couple foreplay/after climax play
    • Fast session/quickie
    • Relaxation/alone time
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Bathtub
    • Home
    • Shower

Material / Texture

Little toady is hard plastic from head to toe. My first impression upon opening the package was that it was of cheap quality because the battery cap screws onto the main body of the toy in a somewhat unorganized way (i.e. the design doesn't align the batteries with their terminals in the cap very well). In fact, this actually meant that sometimes I had to fiddle with the cap to get things properly powered.

Design / Shape / Size

As mentioned in the previous section, the design of the cap of the batter compartment isn't exactly tailored to stay in place, so occasionally (re: every dozen uses or so) it will get moved enough that the terminals no longer connect and the device won't power on. The fix is simple though: just twist the cap around so the terminals are lined up again.

My very first impression of the size of little toady was that it was... well, smaller than I imagined. Do not let the size fool you though--it is mighty powerful for its size. Unfortunately that also means that it is VERY LOUD. Ridiculously makes-you-laugh-sometimes loud. Thankfully most of the noise can be muffled underneath the covers, but my boyfriend was never unaware when the toad was in action. If you are considering this vibe for travel, it is small and discreet looking, but please make sure the room you're staying in has thick walls or heavy covers. Oh, and take the batteries out so the button doesn't accidentally get knocked on in your luggage (this actually happened to me at the airport once).

Functions / Performance / Controls

It's pretty simple: there's a button on one end. You push it, and there's a straight (STRONG) vibe. Push it again and again to cycle through the other 6 programmed settings. Some are somewhat predictable (small vibe, medium vibe, big vibe), and others are completely random, which is REALLY GREAT. I expected the patterns to be reminiscent of my Onye vibe, but the toad is far more creative and alters between different patterns on most of the settings. It is an amazing way to built up sexy feelings when you're trying to get in the mood.

The package says it's waterproof, but I have my doubts. There is an o-ring in the cap, presumably to prevent water from coming in, but I haven't tested its limits yet. If anything horrible happens, I'll update this review.

Care and Maintenance

The flip-side of the non-sensual hard plastic body of this beast is that it's very simple to clean. Even with the ribbing, it's not to hard to just wipe this little guy down after use. As with most small toys, it is easy to hide. I keep mine discreetly in a little red tin next to my bed (well, ok, with all the other ones, haha!). Non-silicone body means you don't have to worry about whether your lube is compatible or not, which in many ways is a plus. I think water-based is really the best way to go, but really, who doesn't like a little non-stop silicone slip-n-slide now and again? Having at least one toy that won't play the part of the witch in the Wizard of Oz when you pour lube on it is a major plus.


The packaging was simple, but there weren't any instructions worth mentioning. Of course, all you really need to do it plop two AAA batteries in, but it would have been nice to have some sort of explanation or at least a chart explaining what the seven different vibration patterns are. On the other hand, finding out for myself was surprisingly fun!

Personal comments

In three words: totally worth it.


As previously mentioned, the toy was great alone or with a partner, although it can be distracting to the partner because it is so noisy.
Follow-up commentary
More than six months later... nothing has broken, nothing has stopped working, the vibe is still strong, and everything is great. Still my favorite at the moment!
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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Do you like this review?
  • LicentiouslyYours
    I may have to get this one based on color alone! It's adorable! Smile
  • ......
    Great review! I totally have to have this now!
  • Sammi
    What an interesting color - must have Smile
  • Owl Identified
    Wow, definitely a great color. Very similar to the EVOLved Hollow Point bullet. Thanks for the review!
  • Eucaly
    Thanks for the review!
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