Touche Girdle - traditional vibrator by Shots media - review by Rod Martini

This toy is fantastic for almost any situation, but probably not for everyone considering its healthy size. It is not exactly discreet at about 8 inches long, but is very quiet and splash resistant. So, it can be used in the shower, in bed, in the living room, laundry room, on horseback, at the mall, on a plane, at your parents house, the north pole, just about anywhere. It is very good at stimulating both externally and internally, but the vibrations could be a little stronger. We loved almost everything about this toy other than the controls. When it comes down to it, I would spend only a little over $40 cash if I were to buy it. Maybe wait until it goes on sale or use your Eden points to cover the difference. Otherwise, you may get the feeling that you spent a little too much. Also, because the price is a little high, and you are not exactly getting a huge bang for your buck, I wouldn't recommend buying this as a gag gift or even a regular gift.

The Girdle is velvety, soft, and just a little squishy to the touch. But it is quite firm overall, which makes it very reliable if for stiff insertions.

The material is a very stable silicone which is considered to be one of the safest rubber compounds for this application. As you can see right in the description on the product page, the toy is non-porous, latex free, and phthalate free. This means that it will not harbor bacteria and it does not readily break down when exposed to other aggressive materials or lubricants. In the user manual it states that because, "Touche silicones are so smooth that you won't normally need lubricant for vaginal use." Now, considering the healthy girth of the Girdle, the velvety texture of the silicone, and the fragile tissue of your vaginas exterior, I certainly would not try to push this inside you without some slick assistance, unless you're the kind of girl whose minge waters like a hungry dog. And, even though this is a high grade silicone, you should still use an "internal use" water based lubricant.

Some may find that the velvety texture of the silicone is more realistic. I tend to disagree. Unlike the Girdle, a penis will readily accept almost anything from saliva to Pam as a lubricant, and just about get the job done. On the other hand, and on a microscopic scale, the surface of the silicone is so non-porous it has a difficult time accepting lubrication. You will find this out as soon as you try to apply a dab, because it will want to slide right off. So instead of lubricating the toy, lubricate your fingers and use them to lubricate the interior walls and orifice of your vagina. Then, with the residual wet the toy and prepare for insertion.

This toy, much like other silicone toys, has almost no odor at all. You literally have to touch it to your nose to smell the rubber.

First impressions of the toy upon arrival was that it looked exactly like the picture, which is NEVER the case. Even out of the package, there were no surprises as to how it looked and felt. Little did we know, the surprise was yet to come. You never have a precise appreciation for the size of any toy until you try to put it in you. The Girdle is very good at fooling you with its sleek shape and slim waist. The actual insertable length is about 7 1/16", and the overall length is an easily concealable 8 5/16". However, this toy is going to be thick for most girls. From the bottom up, the dimensions fluctuate as follows:

1 5/16" -> 1 1/2" -> 1 5/8" -> 1 1/8" -> 1 5/8" -> soft point.

The toy is expertly designed to look as if you took a standard, traditionally pointed vibrator and cinched it tight in the middle with a weenie sized girdle, hence the name. The advantage is you get the same optimally sharp insertion tip as a standard vibe, but also the added excitement of its tapered hips and the ridges of the laces. Being that the head is quite girthy at a full 1 5/8" at its widest, the pointed tip is almost necessary for an accurate and comfortable insertion. This makes it very easy to tell where it is headed, and if you are in the right place. Trust me, there is nothing more frustrating than trying to push a blunt, round object into a stubborn hole.

Those laces seem small but in actuality, provide quite an aggressive ribbing and an intense stimulation upon thrusting. They also provide an amazing strumming feeling across your clitoris if you are using it externally, even if the vibrator is off. The combination of the tapering of the shaft and the location of the laces just under the apex of the curve, the Girdle actually provides a decent amount of g-spot stimulation. That sensation is best felt by inserting the Girdle about halfway up, and pulling those laces down and out, which will grind the motor and ribs directly against the most sensitive areas.

One thing the box, nor the user manual talks about is the bending neck. The only thing actually flexible on the whole toy is that there is a hinge joint located just above its thinnest point on the shaft. It will only bend in 2 directions, either back and forth, or left to right (depending on how the assembly is positioned inside the silicone sleeve). This just gives the toy another dimension of pleasurability considering the rest of it is rather unyielding.

This is where you are either going to love the toy or hate the toy. In my personal opinion, Touche was about to hit one out of the park, and they dropped the ball with the controls. I mean, with a proper, water tight dial base on a scale of one to ten, this toy would have been an 11! But, it was like they blew the budget with the packaging and had to cut cost by putting a bratty, take it or leave it controller on it.

This is important information! In order to operate your Girdle:
1) Insert batteries correctly with battery nipple facing down. This is a 50/50 shot because there is no diagram on, under, or anywhere near the battery bay.

2) Twist the base snug, but not too tight. The electrodes under the cap are just a tad too small, so if you over tighten the base, they will not make contact. This renders the electrical circuit unclosed and you unaroused.

3) Push the power button. If nothing happens, you probably have the base too tight.

4) Explore each of the settings before using the vibrator and try to memorize your favorites with a 1 through 10 count. While you are using the vibrator, try to keep track of what setting you are on. Because there are 10 settings and you cannot go back, if you miss your favorite one, you have to go all the way back through all 10 or turn it off (see step 5) and start over. Obnoxious!

5) To turn the toy off, slowly twist the base until you feel it give an ever-so gentle click. This means the toy if off and the batteries should be out of contact.

I really feel if they had put as much thought into a waterproof dial as they did dreaming up 7 different vibration combinations, you would get so much more pleasure by variably changing your sensation by gradually raising and lowering your own frequency. But that's enough about that.

This toy is considered to be splash resistant, not waterproof. There is no seal to prevent water from leaking into the battery compartment, so it is not recommended that you submerge this toy in a bath tub. It can be used with copious amounts of lubricant and carefully used in the shower, but not under water in a hot tub!

The all new "Supersonic" motor used in the Girdle is proclaimed to send intense vibrations all throughout the toy, instead of just around the proximity of the motor itself. It does in fact send vibrations through the whole toy, but I would by no means label them intense. The only setting worth making any fuss over is the high setting, which is a low-medium on any other $60 tool. And I assume by Supersonic they mean unable to hear, rather than faster than the speed of sound. If that was their thought process, then they succeeded because the toy is indeed very quiet and virtually impossible to detect through a thick blanket.

This toy is very safe in that it is hypo-allergenic, latex free, phthalate free, fully non-porous, and even flavorless. If you click on the highlighted "Silicone" button on the product page, under hygiene and maintenance it will tell you to boil it or throw it in your dishwasher. DO NOT do either of those things. You would have to be crazy to buy a $60 vibrator and cast it into a harsh and unpredictable environment like your dishwasher (which contains aggressive detergents, solvents and a 1000 degree heating element that easily melts tupperware). And considering the fact that the toy is only Splash resistant, boiling it is sort of out of the question as well. Therefore, after every use, clean this toy with a non-alcoholic toy cleaner and store it in a dark, dry place. And even though it can be sterilized, I would still put a condom on it if I were using it anally or sharing it with a close partner.

As long as you take care of your new friend and don't abuse it, Touche backs their toys with a 1 year factory warranty. This covers any mistakes they may have made in the production process, such as a faulty motor or weak and defective silicone.

If I can be frank, the packaging is wicked! It comes in this super sexy black box with a window in the front so you can see the entire toy. As a designer, I can easily say that the box is quite the masterpiece. On the back, printed in English, German, French, and Spanish are the spark notes about the toy. Inside the box, the toy is held in an easily opened, folding plastic shell. In the bottom of the box are 2 small user manuals printed in English, French, German, Spanish, Dutch, Russian, Polish, and Italian. I think they should hand these out at international political conferences. Everyone would probably get along a lot better if they could rub one out before they sat down to discussed the issues. The outer dimensions of the box are 2" by 4" by 10"