I love role playing. I think it's a great way to mix things up in the bedroom. However, more often than not, people find it more nerdy than sexy, that it is something best left for people that play Dungeons & Dragons. But it doesn't have to be. Role play in the bedroom can be a great way to spice up your sex life and try new things.
One of the biggest complaints I have seen about role playing is that people aren't interested in the “classic” sexy scenes. They are not interested in the boss and the secretary or the naughty nurse. But the best thing about role playing is that you get to create the scene. If the idea of a scene doesn't appeal to both of you, then it's best not to even try. You are not going to be able to stay in the scene if you are not enjoying yourself. And that's the point, isn't it, to enjoy yourself? So, if you're not into the hot librarian, pick something else. Find out what your partner is into and work with that.
Then there is the issue with costumes. People are constantly complaining that “they're too expensive” or “I can't find something that fits.” Don't let pricy or ill fitting costumes stop your desire to try role playing. The costumes don't need to be elaborate or expensive or even what you would initially use as a costume. For instance, I used a black mini skirt, high heels, and a sexy bra for a maid's costume. Everything came out of my closet. Even better, they were all things that my boyfriend had seen me in before. Separate, simple articles of clothing. Together, they made for one hot night. Don't stress over a costume. Trust me, your partner will be more interested in getting you out of the clothes than you wearing them.
After people get past choosing a fantasy to play out and finding a sexy outfit, they get stuck on something else. “How do I start?” Really there is no straight answer to that question. Some people like to plan these things out. Personally, I prefer to surprise my boyfriend with a costume or character. One time, he was in the living room watching TV and I walked in wearing a sexy red negligee with a persona to match. He really enjoyed the surprise. Whether you work role play in as a surprise or plan out all of the details, it is really all up to you.
My boyfriend and I are both actors, so role playing is something that just comes naturally for us. However, acting experience is not required. Even if you're not so theatrically inclined, I still recommend giving role play a shot. It really is a lot of fun and it gives you a shot to try out that fantasy that you normally would not. So, pick out a sexy outfit, grab your partner, and give it a try!
One of the biggest complaints I have seen about role playing is that people aren't interested in the “classic” sexy scenes. They are not interested in the boss and the secretary or the naughty nurse. But the best thing about role playing is that you get to create the scene. If the idea of a scene doesn't appeal to both of you, then it's best not to even try. You are not going to be able to stay in the scene if you are not enjoying yourself. And that's the point, isn't it, to enjoy yourself? So, if you're not into the hot librarian, pick something else. Find out what your partner is into and work with that.
Then there is the issue with costumes. People are constantly complaining that “they're too expensive” or “I can't find something that fits.” Don't let pricy or ill fitting costumes stop your desire to try role playing. The costumes don't need to be elaborate or expensive or even what you would initially use as a costume. For instance, I used a black mini skirt, high heels, and a sexy bra for a maid's costume. Everything came out of my closet. Even better, they were all things that my boyfriend had seen me in before. Separate, simple articles of clothing. Together, they made for one hot night. Don't stress over a costume. Trust me, your partner will be more interested in getting you out of the clothes than you wearing them.
After people get past choosing a fantasy to play out and finding a sexy outfit, they get stuck on something else. “How do I start?” Really there is no straight answer to that question. Some people like to plan these things out. Personally, I prefer to surprise my boyfriend with a costume or character. One time, he was in the living room watching TV and I walked in wearing a sexy red negligee with a persona to match. He really enjoyed the surprise. Whether you work role play in as a surprise or plan out all of the details, it is really all up to you.
My boyfriend and I are both actors, so role playing is something that just comes naturally for us. However, acting experience is not required. Even if you're not so theatrically inclined, I still recommend giving role play a shot. It really is a lot of fun and it gives you a shot to try out that fantasy that you normally would not. So, pick out a sexy outfit, grab your partner, and give it a try!
I don't like role play and never have - although I'm not sure if I'd classify it as being "nerdy"or not. I am not comfortable not being myself and in the here and now. I'm not dressing up, certainly NOT in costume, and not acting out some cheesy porn movie scenario. I've tried it before and it's not something that I enjoy and by the time clothes come off, I'm just not even close to being in the mood any longer.
To those who like role playing, that's great and I'm happy for you. But articles like this, not just on role playing mind you, give you the sense that if you can't get into it, then something is wrong with you for some reason. I have VERY few "definite no"s when it comes to sex, but role playing IS definitely one of those. I don't have to try scat to know that I wouldn't like it either. Some things you know by your very personality, without ever having to experience it firsthand.
What's really holding me back is baggage and issues with self-esteem and confidence. It would have been a good idea to address psychological and emotional issues, as well, in this article.
Much like Thanatos70, I'm not comfortable not being myself. I used to really get into role playing, but certain relationship issues really screwed that up. Plus, it's damn hard not to be cheesy in person. Over the Internet or via text? Sure. IRL? Wow...that's awkward, even back when my husband and I were both into it.
Personally, I love getting dressed up and creating a scene with my partner. I think it's fun and sexy. Plus, it's an excuse to wear a costume and I really love costumes! The idea of getting to pretend to be someone else is really quite alluring.
I'm not sure that the author is meaning to give the sense that there is something wrong with you if you do not like role-playing. I just get the general sense that it is being said that it is worth a try and here are some places where people tend to get stuck, which is true. It is hard to be comfortable role-playing if you aren't used to it, but starting small and simple can be a great way to try it. Metaphorically speaking, I think we tend to role-play whether we actually call it that or not. Sometimes there are times when one partner wants to be a little bit more dominant than the other, or you are both in a mood where you sense you want to be roughed up a bit more than usual. Just because you don't call it role-playing doesn't mean it isn't. You are just tapping in to a different part of yourself and playing that role. For those who want to try role-playing sincerely, but have confidence concerns, I believe that thinking of it as a more amped up version of the natural progression of sexual interaction, is really helpful in making you a little more comfortable.
As a theater geek I believe role play is an essential part to a spicey sex life.
My favorite situation would have to be the gyn/ and patient scenario.
Pretty much my partner and I start out with the whole roleplay thing and use it as sort of for foreplay. But once we actually get into the sex it stops being much about the roleplay and just ends up being sex. I don't mind really, though. For us, it's just fun and somewhat silly and sexy. No pressure and nothing serious, just fun intimate times.