Relationships » Power Exchange; Advice » Dating & Relationships: "The Highs and Lows of it"
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The Highs and Lows of it

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Most nights when the lights go off, there is that moment where sex is a possibility before drifting off to sleep. My heart races and I can feel the blood rushing to my lady bits in a wonderful wave. As my fingers wander around her skin, hoping to catch something, there's always the thought in the back of my head "Will this happen tonight?"


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Contributor: Hummingbird

Thank you, you've shed light on a dark tunnel I'm facing myself. It is not right to expect the same intimacy I crave from someone who cannot share it equally. Our needs and expectations are different and we need to respect that. For me this very welcomed thoughts and ideas.

Contributor: wrecklesswords

I'm glad that you found some inspiration in this. Sometimes it's still a little hard for me, but every time I face it, I realize that it has nothing to do with any undesirability of me and more to do with simply her just not being in the mood. When we do have sex, she shows me how much she does want to pleasure me and vice versa.

It took some tears and big fights over it to really realize that. I believe that sometimes you have to experience the pain of it before you can really respect and understand the situation.

Contributor: karenm

Thank you for posting this. there are a lot of complicated feelings surrounding sexual rejection- guilt that maybe you're being pushy or asking too much, fear that they won't reciprocate your advances, vulnerability (I rarely initiate sex because I'm afraid of being shot down. So I usually just hope that he will) and loneliness, frustration, some resentment. And I think you summed that up very well.

I also have a higher sex drive than my partner and it is very frustrating. It is a tense topic to bring up, asking him to affirm that he does want me even if there are outside factors. But your post made me realize that maybe it is something I need, and should ask for.

On a related note, I read a discussion post (which I wish I could cite, but I wouldn't know how to look it up) in which one person basically said that it helps to ask, "do you want to have sex?" casually, before you become really aroused and invested in it. That way, if they say no you are not as disappointed. I think this is a great tip to keep in mind.



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