Who Are You Calling A Prude?
Admittedly, not every sexual encounter is as unexpectedly wonderful as my first was, but I know there are women — and maybe men, too — who feel or have felt uncomfortable enough with their bodies that they haven't wanted to have sex because of it. It's a difficult position to be in, especially if you're a very sexual person.
I was twenty years old when I lost my virginity and it wasn't because I didn't believe in premarital sex or that I was particularly religious. The only reason I didn't have sex before was because I hated my body. It's a sad truth, and one a lot of people can relate to (even if you have been willing to have sex despite the fact). I dreaded wearing bathing suits, shorts, or even tank tops. Summer was my least favorite season. I couldn't bring myself to change in the locker room for fear of being ridiculed by my classmates. I was that sad little high school girl who changed in the bathroom stall. Why? Good question.
It is constantly shoved down our throats by our culture's expectations of women that we be skinny, fit, and beautiful at all times. I am about 15 pounds overweight, and have maintained that weight for over six years despite my best efforts at dieting and exercising. Is that overtly obese? No, but it was enough to not like what I saw when I looked in the mirror. I figured that if I didn't like what I saw, why would anyone else?
For this reason, I never sought out a relationship. When someone looked my way or tried to get my attention, I ignored them — even if I was interested in them. I wore baggy clothes to hide my body and I never wore makeup. I thought, what was the point of trying to look pretty when I wasn't underneath? If boys ever showed they were interested in me, I would try my hardest to distance myself from them. I wasn't involved with anyone until my junior year of college. For these reasons, people called me a "prude." I never went to a high school dance because no one ever asked me. I was labeled as "prudish," and who can have a good time with someone like that?
I was twenty years old when I lost my virginity and it wasn't because I didn't believe in premarital sex or that I was particularly religious. The only reason I didn't have sex before was because I hated my body. It's a sad truth, and one a lot of people can relate to (even if you have been willing to have sex despite the fact). I dreaded wearing bathing suits, shorts, or even tank tops. Summer was my least favorite season. I couldn't bring myself to change in the locker room for fear of being ridiculed by my classmates. I was that sad little high school girl who changed in the bathroom stall. Why? Good question.
It is constantly shoved down our throats by our culture's expectations of women that we be skinny, fit, and beautiful at all times. I am about 15 pounds overweight, and have maintained that weight for over six years despite my best efforts at dieting and exercising. Is that overtly obese? No, but it was enough to not like what I saw when I looked in the mirror. I figured that if I didn't like what I saw, why would anyone else?
For this reason, I never sought out a relationship. When someone looked my way or tried to get my attention, I ignored them — even if I was interested in them. I wore baggy clothes to hide my body and I never wore makeup. I thought, what was the point of trying to look pretty when I wasn't underneath? If boys ever showed they were interested in me, I would try my hardest to distance myself from them. I wasn't involved with anyone until my junior year of college. For these reasons, people called me a "prude." I never went to a high school dance because no one ever asked me. I was labeled as "prudish," and who can have a good time with someone like that?
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