Short. Frayed. Tight. Unnecessary. Daisy dukes.
As in, if she bent over, some-cheek-or-undies-might-pop-out short shorts.
I’ve overlooked a lot of things that parents put on their little ones. High heels, high boots, and too much bling, just to name a few. But I draw the line at short shorts and pants with words like “Juicy” on the butt!
Maybe your parents were more liberal, but I wasn’t allowed a tall, skinny high heel until I was 16 years old. And I won’t DARE try and wear pants with words on my butt, because no matter how old I get, my mom very eloquently told me she’ll still kick my ass.
So where’s all this madness coming from?
I recently read a wonderful book called Cinderella Ate My Daughter by Peggy Orenstein. She brings up a lot of issues, but basically says that little girls pick up the need to be pretty as young as two and three. Little girls are always told they’re “cute,” “adorable,” and “pretty.” In fact, it’s the number one thing little girls hear on average. This just gives the social cues that looks are important, not other things such as intelligence or wit.
Intelligence doesn’t seem to be a running theme in a lot of little girls’ fairy tales either. Snow White? Saved by a prince. Sleeping Beauty? Saved by a prince. How about Belle from Beauty in the Beast? She gets held hostage by a beast to protect her father, is held against her will, and somehow changes the beast and falls in love with him! So wait a minute, we’re telling our young females that it’s okay for a guy to be mean and controlling because you can change him? Riiiiight.
And that’s just a few examples. Sure, we’ve made some tiny leaps since last generation, but it seems to be getting covered up with “Juicy” butt pants.
It doesn’t help that the media keeps making girls look sexy younger and younger. Did you hear when a store called Kids N Teen had thongs and crotchless underwear for children ages 7-13? Thongs and padded underwire are appearing for girls at the tween market group and younger. Even places like Sears and Target seem to be stocking up on these nightmares.
It’s one thing if a teen sneaks into Victoria’s Secret and buys a thong, but it’s another when a parent buys their child booty shorts and thigh high boots. Something is definitely wrong here! What would make a parent buy these items for a mere child?
Could it be Monster Media? Advertising is everywhere. The average U.S. American sees references to more than one hundred advertisements a day (and that’s a conservative estimate! Sources like Consumer Reports and others declare the number to be upwards of 300!). Billions of dollars are spent on marketing and advertisement. And almost like cigarette companies, the clothing companies seem to be getting the same idea: start’em young. If you start them young, it’ll stick, and perhaps perpetuate this crazy cycle.
I’m not saying all parents with young girls are dressing them like they’re going clubbing. To the parents out there saying no to Juicy butt pants, I commend you and implore you to keep up the good work. I’ll just leave you all with a few parting words. Something everyone should know if they don’t already. This one affected me personally when a child.
The word “Bossy.” While rudimentary and not well refined, that young girl is displaying traits of leadership and taking charge. Sure it might be borderline dictator-like, depending on your little sweet pea, but there are ways to correct the behavior. Just writing the child off as “Bossy” is a social cue for her to go the opposite direction and be meek, or to show that being polite and social is better than getting what she wants.
Using the word bossy is actually gender discriminatory (or used mostly on females). There was a study done with adults commenting on the traits of little boys and girls during school recess. What was called bossy in girls was called “strong” and “leading” in young boys. Interesting thought, isn’t it?
There are so many ways that we treat little boys and girls differently. And while there is a push for it to change, those daisy dukes aren’t convincing me.
As in, if she bent over, some-cheek-or-undies-might-pop-out short shorts.
I’ve overlooked a lot of things that parents put on their little ones. High heels, high boots, and too much bling, just to name a few. But I draw the line at short shorts and pants with words like “Juicy” on the butt!
Maybe your parents were more liberal, but I wasn’t allowed a tall, skinny high heel until I was 16 years old. And I won’t DARE try and wear pants with words on my butt, because no matter how old I get, my mom very eloquently told me she’ll still kick my ass.
So where’s all this madness coming from?
I recently read a wonderful book called Cinderella Ate My Daughter by Peggy Orenstein. She brings up a lot of issues, but basically says that little girls pick up the need to be pretty as young as two and three. Little girls are always told they’re “cute,” “adorable,” and “pretty.” In fact, it’s the number one thing little girls hear on average. This just gives the social cues that looks are important, not other things such as intelligence or wit.
Intelligence doesn’t seem to be a running theme in a lot of little girls’ fairy tales either. Snow White? Saved by a prince. Sleeping Beauty? Saved by a prince. How about Belle from Beauty in the Beast? She gets held hostage by a beast to protect her father, is held against her will, and somehow changes the beast and falls in love with him! So wait a minute, we’re telling our young females that it’s okay for a guy to be mean and controlling because you can change him? Riiiiight.
And that’s just a few examples. Sure, we’ve made some tiny leaps since last generation, but it seems to be getting covered up with “Juicy” butt pants.
It doesn’t help that the media keeps making girls look sexy younger and younger. Did you hear when a store called Kids N Teen had thongs and crotchless underwear for children ages 7-13? Thongs and padded underwire are appearing for girls at the tween market group and younger. Even places like Sears and Target seem to be stocking up on these nightmares.
It’s one thing if a teen sneaks into Victoria’s Secret and buys a thong, but it’s another when a parent buys their child booty shorts and thigh high boots. Something is definitely wrong here! What would make a parent buy these items for a mere child?
Could it be Monster Media? Advertising is everywhere. The average U.S. American sees references to more than one hundred advertisements a day (and that’s a conservative estimate! Sources like Consumer Reports and others declare the number to be upwards of 300!). Billions of dollars are spent on marketing and advertisement. And almost like cigarette companies, the clothing companies seem to be getting the same idea: start’em young. If you start them young, it’ll stick, and perhaps perpetuate this crazy cycle.
I’m not saying all parents with young girls are dressing them like they’re going clubbing. To the parents out there saying no to Juicy butt pants, I commend you and implore you to keep up the good work. I’ll just leave you all with a few parting words. Something everyone should know if they don’t already. This one affected me personally when a child.
The word “Bossy.” While rudimentary and not well refined, that young girl is displaying traits of leadership and taking charge. Sure it might be borderline dictator-like, depending on your little sweet pea, but there are ways to correct the behavior. Just writing the child off as “Bossy” is a social cue for her to go the opposite direction and be meek, or to show that being polite and social is better than getting what she wants.
Using the word bossy is actually gender discriminatory (or used mostly on females). There was a study done with adults commenting on the traits of little boys and girls during school recess. What was called bossy in girls was called “strong” and “leading” in young boys. Interesting thought, isn’t it?
There are so many ways that we treat little boys and girls differently. And while there is a push for it to change, those daisy dukes aren’t convincing me.
Great article! I completely agree with you. Some of the parents these days need to reevaluate and get a clue.
damn toddlers and tiaras.
As a parent, I'll often call my daughter "cutie-pie" or something like that at first...it's kind of the default form of affectionate phrasing...but often realize I need to follow up immediately with something to recognize that I think she's smart and talented, too (hell, sometimes I need to remember to do that with my wife, too). The little girl's likely to grow up to be a very charming and attractive young woman (and the tween years are only a few years away, when things will really start to ratchet upward) and will probably be able to go far just on attractiveness, but I don't want her to see that as the primary or foundational way of going through life.
Thanks for the article, because it's easy not to realize how pervasive this stuff is. I've tried to make sure she has superhero and working woman/adventurous toys aplenty to go along with all those princesses and fairies she gravitates toward. I've had to fight the grown up dressing desires so often; at seven, I'm still not budging on swimwear...no matter how much she asks for a two-piece, she's getting one-piece swimsuits for a while.
Often, I see glimpses that it's working (or I hope it is) as I try to balance her outlook on life. I'm starting to think I'll end up with a dress-loving tomboy or a Goth girl who likes pink, and that makes me a lot happier than the idea of a frilly girl looking for a "prince" to save her.
I really loved your article. I believe you should pick up the book Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank by Celia Rivenbark. It's a very funny book with a lot of her humor column prose. I believe you would appreciate it.
I work at Target and I have been totally appalled by some of the clothes marketed toward little girls. Some of that stuff I would never even wear as a 24-year-old woman.
My girls were always dressed in what caught their eyes in the store...one liked ruffles and frills and one liked skulls and crossbones! We never bought them clothing advertising their sexuality and steered them subtly away from them. Ok, so sometimes their father would do the father thing and threaten to burn clothing that he deemed inappropriate but then again the girls never asked to wear them!
My girls know that I wear crotchless drawers on occasion but they also know that this occasion involves sex!
I cannot imagine them asking me to buy crotchless anything for them!
Agreed! I can't believe what I see some of them wear around here and even some of the toddler Halloween costumes I have been looking at lately when shopping for one for my lil girl.
Really great things to point out! I love this article Mwar, and I fully feel what your'e flippin' about. I personally feel the same. OMG about the crotchless kid thongs?! What the booze!? It infuriates me when parents want kids to be "sexy." You know, I seen this a lot with the girls my age who have kids (not recently because I'm not hardly ever with them these days). I remember one friend a few years ago teaching her little 2 year old to "knock one back" as in take a shot, only it was Dr. pepper in a shot glass, okay that was crossing a line, but when she told her to say "I'm sexy!" I was astonished. Really? It's disgusting.
Also, you made an excellent, eye-opening point about telling our girls they're good-looking. I make a point to tell our girls they're so "beautiful and smart" daily, and often more than daily because I've always worried about them having self esteem issues, and just never wanted them to feel bad about themselves, but I did not really think how only speaking highly of their looks would be a negative thing as well. I'll have to remember to emphasize the "you're so smart!" even more now.
Nice article making so many relevant points...
the only thing i disagree with is the whole pointing fingers at disney movies. Most of those stories were written how many years ago? Snow white came out in the 30's, Cinderella is almost as old. I think people blow this whole "they are sending bad messages to my children" crap out of proportion. ._. Half the people I know male and female alike grew up on these movies without the slightest inclination of them having affected them in any of these ways to be dependent on a man or reflect only on looks. Psychology studies show living models have a bigger affect and peers even more so of one. So perhaps we should stop pointing fingers at the external things like movies and media and take a look at the child's home life - not vague terminology directed at them but how their parents interact, how the older women in their life behave and talk about things ; children take a much more active interest in people who directly affect them than they do movies or games. My cousin for example, attempted to model herself after me even though she watched little girl's cartoons that many would argue have 'negative' connotations towards females. Environment shapes who we are a hell of a lot more than a book or a movie or a game; for some this isn't true but for the majority environment and physical stimuli play a much larger role in influencing ideals and behavior.
i completely agree. great article
Terrific article! I am not a conservative person at all, but there are definitely some things I don't think are appropriate for children *at all*. Let kids discover sexuality when they're older. I wish more people felt this way about the way some children are presented to the world.
i agree. im a protective mom and dont want guys looking at a young girl dressed like that, and second try to teach them how to act and dress like a little lady