I was at a point in my life where too many guys had fucked me over and I couldn't stand the idea of being with them anymore. I decided it was time to branch out, expand my horizons. The year I was 16 a friend of mine introduced me to a girl named Kira. She was 18 years old and the first lesbian I had ever met (well at least to my knowledge). She was beautiful; tall, dark hair, green eyes, and an absolutely beautiful body. Even though I had never been into girls before, I was immediately attracted to her and for some reason she was attracted to me. We hit things off right away.
At first we just spent time together as friends. There was no pressure and actually little intent to really get together. Kira knew I was only experimenting and she was only there to help me do so. We started spending so much time together. We would shop and have sleep overs and do all the things that best friends do... except for the sexual acts. When we would have slumber parties Kira would teach me all these things, how to really suck off a clit, how to really fuck a girl with a strap on and how to be comfortable with doing all these things. The sex was amazing and I have to admit my feelings for Kira turned into much more than a mentor and student kind of relationship.
After months of getting to know each other, we decided we cared enough for one another to start having a relationship. I'd be lying to all of you if I said I wasn't scared. I shouldn't have been, after all the things we had done and everything we had become... but I was. I was scared of who I was becoming and all the things I was hiding from the world. Kira didn't exactly like that I was in the closet but she never pushed the subject. She understood I was still young and trying to figure things out. But we continued our relationship without any problems for quite a while. And things were better than they have been with any man I've ever been in a relationship with.
I loved her, but for me loving her and her loving me, at the time... I didn't realize how important it was to me, how important she was to me. Kira was one of the best things that ever happened to me. She gave me confidence in myself. She taught me so much more about sex than anyone else was willing to, and she taught me a lot about myself. But I was young, stupid, and a jerk. After almost a year and a half of being with her almost all the time I broke it off. I ended our relationship because as much as I loved her, I realized I could never come out of the closet. I had been raised one way and that was the way I was going to live my life. Now don't get me wrong, I have absolutely nothing against gays, lesbians, or anyone who has a different sexual orientation than me, but I just couldn't do it.
She hated me. She screamed at me, and swore at me, and told me what a fake, lying little bitch I was and that all I did was waste her time. She was right. I played with her heart but to me I wasn't wrong. Kira knew from the beginning that I was only experimenting and that this was only temporary. To tell you all the truth, now that I'm older and can see the wrong that I did, I hate myself for the way I treated her. She hasn't spoken to me since that incident and I don't blame her. I didn't deserve her and wherever she is now I hope she's happy.
But kids, while I wanted to tell you a little about my life, and a very important person in it, I have a purpose to this story. Don't back out of something just because you're scared of how the world will react. You may lose something very dear to you.
I have never had another female relationship since I was with Kira and I'm not entirely sad about it. I have had some very good relationships with men and I realize now that I was never planning and never meant to be with a woman, but the one woman I was with... I will always love her for the rest of my life. Hold on to the people you love and stand with them no matter what stands in your way.
At first we just spent time together as friends. There was no pressure and actually little intent to really get together. Kira knew I was only experimenting and she was only there to help me do so. We started spending so much time together. We would shop and have sleep overs and do all the things that best friends do... except for the sexual acts. When we would have slumber parties Kira would teach me all these things, how to really suck off a clit, how to really fuck a girl with a strap on and how to be comfortable with doing all these things. The sex was amazing and I have to admit my feelings for Kira turned into much more than a mentor and student kind of relationship.
After months of getting to know each other, we decided we cared enough for one another to start having a relationship. I'd be lying to all of you if I said I wasn't scared. I shouldn't have been, after all the things we had done and everything we had become... but I was. I was scared of who I was becoming and all the things I was hiding from the world. Kira didn't exactly like that I was in the closet but she never pushed the subject. She understood I was still young and trying to figure things out. But we continued our relationship without any problems for quite a while. And things were better than they have been with any man I've ever been in a relationship with.
I loved her, but for me loving her and her loving me, at the time... I didn't realize how important it was to me, how important she was to me. Kira was one of the best things that ever happened to me. She gave me confidence in myself. She taught me so much more about sex than anyone else was willing to, and she taught me a lot about myself. But I was young, stupid, and a jerk. After almost a year and a half of being with her almost all the time I broke it off. I ended our relationship because as much as I loved her, I realized I could never come out of the closet. I had been raised one way and that was the way I was going to live my life. Now don't get me wrong, I have absolutely nothing against gays, lesbians, or anyone who has a different sexual orientation than me, but I just couldn't do it.
She hated me. She screamed at me, and swore at me, and told me what a fake, lying little bitch I was and that all I did was waste her time. She was right. I played with her heart but to me I wasn't wrong. Kira knew from the beginning that I was only experimenting and that this was only temporary. To tell you all the truth, now that I'm older and can see the wrong that I did, I hate myself for the way I treated her. She hasn't spoken to me since that incident and I don't blame her. I didn't deserve her and wherever she is now I hope she's happy.
But kids, while I wanted to tell you a little about my life, and a very important person in it, I have a purpose to this story. Don't back out of something just because you're scared of how the world will react. You may lose something very dear to you.
I have never had another female relationship since I was with Kira and I'm not entirely sad about it. I have had some very good relationships with men and I realize now that I was never planning and never meant to be with a woman, but the one woman I was with... I will always love her for the rest of my life. Hold on to the people you love and stand with them no matter what stands in your way.
That's sad.
/: