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I Can't Get No Satisfaction

I'm extremely thankful that this toy was a free gift because I barely used it once and then threw it away. If I could, I would give it only half of a star because it was at least functional when it arrived.
Published:
Pros:
Free gift with purchase, minimal packaging
Cons:
Poor design and features
Rating by reviewer:
1
useful review

Use

At 9" total length, you would think that this toy was insertable, but I would strongly advise against that unless you're fond of scraping and cutting the fragile portions of your anatomy. There's not only a seam where the top portion of this vibrator and the handle meet, but there is also a sharp, jagged edge on the plastic.

I think this toy may be suitable for a first-time user who is just looking to experiment with a clitoral and nipple vibrator. This would also be okay as a gag gift, but honestly, there are better products for the same price.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Gag gift
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Clitoris
    • Nipples

Material / Texture

The entire unit is made of plastic that has no taste or smell. Plastic can be a relatively body-safe material, except in cases such as this where the manufacturers have designed an inferior product. The head of this vibrator is a smooth, clear plastic dome through which you can see the motor. It's a cool idea, except for the fact that there is a VERY pronounced seam at the point where the dome top and handle portion meet. The edge of the plastic dome top is slightly larger than the top of the handle, so not only is there a seam, but the ridge around the bottom of the dome has a sharp and jagged feeling under my finger.

The handle of this vibrator is slightly textured and reminds me of the gripping texture that is added to some plastic tools.
    • Somewhat porous

Design / Shape / Size

The Ultimate Satisfier Slim is 9" in total length and claims to be 8.5" insertable with a maximum circumference of 3". I would strongly advise against inserting this toy because of the seam with the sharp and jagged edge. This toy has the potential to cause damage, which would be unfortunate and unpleasant. Considering this design flaw, I would only recommend this toy be used for clitoral and nipple stimulation.

The battery compartment can be opened by twisting off the cap at the base of the toy. This toy is controlled by the dial at the base of the unit.

The small size of this vibrator may make it suitable for travel if you are looking for something that you could just dispose of after your trip.
    • Beginner

Functions / Performance / Controls

This vibrator is operated by a standard, easy-to-use turn dial at the base of the vibrator. The motor is housed at the tip of the unit and can be seen through the clear dome top. The strength of the vibrations are pretty average, and they are relatively buzzy. Considering the strength of this toy, it is also surprisingly loud. I haven't come across a vibrator with such average vibrations yet such impressive acoustics in a long time.

This toy is not waterproof and should not be exposed to water.
    • Easy to use
    • Not discreet at all
    • Not enough variety

Care and Maintenance

Because this toy isn't waterproof, I would suggest wiping it down with a soapy washcloth and then rinsing it with a damp washcloth. You could also use a toy cleaner on this toy.

The Ultimate Satisfier Slim doesn't come with a storage container. If you plan on keeping it past one use, you can stick it in a ziplock baggy.

This toy is compatible with water and silicone-based lubricants.

Packaging

The Ultimate Satisfier Slim came in a clear plastic cover. This packaging is minimalist but doesn't really work for gift giving or for storage.
    • Minimal
    • Not discreet

Experience

When I received this, I was excited to have the opportunity to try a free product. Well, this product wasn't even really worth the effort it took to check it out as a free gift. After I opened my purchase and checked this toy out, I automatically made the decision to spare my internal feminine parts from the use of this product because I prefer to keep them undamaged. So I popped in some batteries and started to play. The first thing I noticed was how loud it is, and the second was how completely underwhelming the vibrations are. Granted, I tend to need a little more power, and the vibrations are probably about average strength, but with 3 AAs, you'd think the thing would have a little more spunk.

Anyways, I attempted to use it as a warm-up vibe, but it just wasn't working for me. I stopped in the middle of my session, took out the batteries, threw this toy away, and grabbed my old faithful.

I would strongly discourage anyone from purchasing this product. There are many more cheap beginner products out there that would be a better investment.
This content is the opinion of the submitting contributor and is not endorsed by EdenFantasys.com
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This review was edited by
  • Selective Sensualist Selective Sensualist
  • Rank:
     
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  • Edited reviews: 540
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Comments
  • Triple X Moma
    Triple X Moma  
    Thanks for the review.
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