A Vibrator Built for Ironman

The Ultimate Satisfies Slim is an odd toy, it's a bit too big, it's got too much power, and it's too loud. There really is such a thing as less is more. This toy missed the memo.
Published:
Pros
Powerful, long handle
Cons
Too powerful, seam, 3 AA batteries, loud as a fog horn
Rating by reviewer:
2
extremely useful review

Use

If power is what you need, you like to use toys externally, and you are deaf, this is the perfect vibrator for you. With earth shattering sound, the Ultimate Satisfier Slim delivers strong vibrations and has a long handle for easy access to the clit. I don't recommend it for full insertion however, it has a nasty seam and can be uncomfortable. Using a condom might help this. For me, this vibrator was way too powerful for my somewhat sensitive clit and very sensitive nipples, even when on the lowest setting. The white, simple design is fairly discreet though, that is a plus. A down side is that this vibrator takes THREE AA batteries. I guess that is the price you pay for power like this.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Everyone
    • Solo
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere but water
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • All over body
    • Clitoris

Material / Texture

The Ultimate Satisfier Slim is made plastic. It doesn't look like great quality though. The top portion is clear-ish. I say clear-ish because it either has a lot of imperfections or someone failed at their attempt to make the plastic look frosted. The other part of the vibrator is a white plastic that has a "crackle" looking appearance and feel to it. It's not very noticeable to the eye, but can be felt. Plastic is safe for the body by being hypo-allergenic, food-grade, phthalate and latex free. It also has no taste or smell, little drag (texture adds a bit), and doesn't pick up lint and other fuzzies. Plastic is non porous, but cannot be sterilized. Using a condom for sharing is still recommended.
    • No odor
    • Not porous at all
    • Rigid

Design / Shape / Size

The shape is simple enough for this vibrator. It has a straight, long design with varying thickness. The entire vibrator is 9 1/4" long. Due to a very rough seam where the clear plastic head of the vibrator and the white plastic shaft connect, I don't recommend inserting this vibrator more than 2 1/8". The top is shaped like a domed cone that is leaning to one side. You can see through the material to view the vibrating mechanisms inside. For those of you who don't know how vibrating things work or haven't taken apart their Playstation controllers like me, you might find it interesting to see how they work. The thickest part of the vibrator is in the middle of the "head" It is 3 1/4" in circumference. It has a nice surface area for covering the clit or other external areas. The long, slender handle decreases in circumference slightly. it helps you reach those areas on yourself or your partner without straining your wrist. The end has a simple to use turn dial for the power. It moves easy enough, but doesn't get easily knocked into another power level. The end screws off so that three AA batteries can be inserted. I suggest leaving the paper insert inside. This can prove a bit tricky to fit both it and the batteries in the vibrator, but without the noise is even worse than it already is.

The simple white, slender bodied design is fairly discreet to those who don't use sex toys, but it won't be fooling any EF user.
    • Beginner
    • Discreet look/design

Functions / Performance / Controls

To turn the vibrator on you simply turn the dial at the base of the toy. It should have variable speeds, but I really only can discern two. They are "low" and "high", which really means, high and super high. It's an understatement to say this vibrator has a lot of power for its size. I guess that's what you get when you add three AA batteries. The sound level is according. It's is way too loud to not be distracting for me. My boyfriend was on the other end of our apartment when I turned this on and he actually said " What the hell was that?" when I turned it on.

The vibrations are strongest in the tip, but they travel throughout the vibrator. I feel that this toy is best suited for clitoral stimulation but that is only if you have a desensitized clit or like super strong, semi painful vibrations. For me, I couldn't use this vibrator. It was painful for me. I couldn't even use it over a pair of athletic pants. It's not good for insertion either. The seam that occurs where the two pieces of the toy connect is painful and can be felt when inserted. Using a condom might help this, but I didn't want to waste a condom on a toy that I can't enjoy anyways.

This toy is not waterproof so don't use in near or in water.
    • Battery guzzler
    • Easy to use
    • Powerful

Care and Maintenance

Plastic is very easy to care for. This toy is easy to care for as long as you don't insert it past the area I specified. You'll need a soft bristled brush to thoroughly clean the texture otherwise. Any kind of lubricant can be used with this. Just wash with soap and warm water, let dry and it can be stored pretty much anywhere.
    • Easy to store
    • Hard to clean

Packaging

This toy doesn't have much for packaging. It comes in an unsealed plastic sleeve.
    • Minimal

Personal comments

Even if you are one of the people I recommend this for, save your money. There are much better toys out there.
Follow-up commentary
I will never use this vibrator again. I threw mine out.

Since I ended up with a few of them, being that this was a free item, I did give them to some friends, but with a disclaimer that this vibrator is a tad ridiculous.

I think there are much better choices out there is power is what you seek.
This content is the opinion of the submitting contributor and is not endorsed by EdenFantasys.com

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Comments
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  • Contributor: Shellz31
    So, don't use this one unless ya want to disturb ya neighbours, huh.....lol. Ya wouldn't imagine it would be that loud for the size of it. Although, I'm surprised at just how long it actually is.

    Great review
  • Contributor: v23
    I got this as a free gift with an order. I agree . . . it's LOUD! Definitely not a favorite. Nice review!
  • Contributor: sexyintexas
    The seam was a deal breaker for me as well. I like it rough but not where it's going to scratch me inside. Great review, thanks
  • Contributor: P'Gell
    I had no idea this was so powerful. Too bad it loud.
  • Contributor: JessCee
    lol "loud as a fog horn"

    someone else said something about the horrible seam and it didn't sound nice at all... I thought maybe it was just a defect in hers... apparently not
  • Contributor: ~LaUr3n~
    Shellz31: I was shocked too lol.

    sexyintexas: AHHH! Scratch inside...not a good thought.

  • Contributor: Diabolical Kitty
    giggles...I would NOT buy something that loud. I think this sucks. Great review.
  • Contributor: ~LaUr3n~
    thanks
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