Speeding bullets armor piercing - bullet discontinued by Evolved Novelties - review by Kaijah

Evolved Novelties’ Speeding Bullets series of mini vibes are designed to provide intense external stimulation in a small package. Even with the three batteries that it uses, this bullet is super light. It’s just so tiny and discreet - it’s smaller than a tube of lipstick. This also means it’s great for every situation you might want to use it in, whether it’s alone on yourself, between you and your partner during sex, or behind a dildo in your harness. The vibrations are fairly high in frequency, and pretty pinpoint in intensity.

For such a tiny toy, it comes in quite a few layers of plastic. Evolved’s first layer of packaging consisted of a clear outer case with their logo and some basic information about the bullet printed across each side. Opening the top flap, you pull out a hard black plastic insert with a red insert inside of it holding the bullet. Underneath that is another small bit of form fitting plastic holding the three spare watch batteries.

The bullet is made from hard plastic, but it has a nice velvety feel to the surface rather than one of total smoothness. The velvety texture provides a nice tug during use for clitoral stimulation, and some drag anywhere else you should choose to move it across. Considering its small size, the Speeding Bullet won’t do much for vaginal stimulation in a girthy way, but it definitely has enough power to feel good if you just want vibrations.

The fact that it’s made of plastic also means you can use any type of lube you wish, water, silicone, or oil-based should you feel you need it.

So how tiny is it, really? In total, the bullet is about two and one half inches long, with the head coming it at about three fourths of an inch, tapering down to about one half inch in the center, and flaring back out to three fourths at the base. The base is also the location of the one push-button control. This seems to be made of a clear rubbery type material, as is the o-ring under the cap.

The battery compartment comes stocked with three of the six watch batteries provided, and is a bit tricky to get in to. After twisting off the cap, you have to kind of pry the top battery out with your nail or give the bullet a few sharp smacks against your palm. After you get that one out, you can then pull the inner battery chamber out easily enough along with the last two batteries. This is kind of annoying to deal with, but very much worth the trouble because that inner chamber works like a buffer to keep the batteries from rattling around so much, making this bullet quite a bit quieter than other plastic vibes.

The Armor Piercing Bullets come with five different functions, each accessed with a press of the single control button. The first is a moderate, constant vibration. The second is a stronger constant vibration. The third is pulsations, and the fourth is extremely rapid staccato pulses. The final function is a kind of unique ‘wave’ pattern, with a short burst and one longer following it. Another click of the button shuts the vibe off. The only way to shut this little guy off is to cycle through all the vibration patterns.

As for this bullet’s claim to be waterproof, I’d say it’s a no go. There is a tiny gap between the cap and the body of the bullet, and though there’s a thin o-ring behind it (You can see this easiest in the pictures of the purple bullet on the main product page. It also shows the thin o-ring easiest, because the purple bullet has a black o-ring rather than a clear one), water still gets through. Just from rinsing the bullet under the tap, after dabbing off the outside, I twisted off the cap to find wetness on the threads above the ring. I think this could be easily solved with a better o-ring, though, as bullets like the High Intensity Bullet from Cal Exotics that have a thick o-ring visible between the cap and body of the bullet, rather than hidden underneath, keep out water just fine.

Being made of plastic, this bullet can be cleaned with soap and water at the sink, or wiped down with a toy cleaner. Be careful when rinsing though, to keep water out of the battery compartment. It can also be stored pretty much anywhere with no worries of picking up lint or pet hair. I personally would recommend taking the batteries out between uses, to prevent potential battery drain while the vibe sits, and accidentally having the vibe turn on if it’s jostled around.

The first few times I used this bullet, it worked without a hitch. On maybe the fourth or fifth go, the bullet started acting a little wonky, turning on for the first function and shutting off with a sad little clicking sound on a second press of the button. The vibrations didn’t really seem weaker than they had originally been, but I switched to the second set of batteries and it hasn’t acted up since. The first set of batteries were also the ones I’d had in it during the first wash I mentioned above, so I'm not sure if they were affected by that.

There is a seam you can see and feel with your finger running along either side of the body of the bullet, as well as a little circular seam at the very tip. The side ones aren’t particularly noticeable while in use, even if you twist the bullet around, but the one on the tip is. It’s not really scratchy or particularly aggravating, though, so I don’t think it will cause much of a problem for anyone.

The vibrations are more focused toward the head of the bullet, but can easily be felt throughout the length because of this toys small size. All of the patterns are really quite strong, surprisingly so for a bullet powered by three little watch batteries. They’re a bit less intense than high intensity bullets powered by N-1 type batteries, but that could be a good thing if you’re like me and find those N-1 vibes almost TOO high and buzzy.

All in all, I really like this vibe. Even with the failed waterproof feature and weirdness with the first set of batteries, it’s strong enough for me without getting into the range of overly stimulating buzziness that I’d happily pick up another should this one burn out.