Porn is Good? Outrageous!
I swear it’s true. Don’t believe me? Let me explain by first debunking a few of the main reasons people think it isn’t:
1.) It objectifies women. So does pop music, CNN, reality TV, and most clothing designers. (And let’s be honest—most males objectify women far before their first illicit glimpse of magazine or cable TV porn. Just the idea of seeing a single booby at age fourteen was enough to make me blow a load in my pants. A girl? No. But a booby? Absolutely.)
2.) It will mess with your expectations of sex. Yes and no—but in a good way. Since the average American doesn’t read a non-fiction book after graduating high school, you can’t count on the Kama Sutra to deliver all the techniques and ideas one needs to get beyond the missionary fuck-by-numbers routine that surely contributes to our 50 percent divorce rate. Why not shoot for the moon and save a few marriages while you’re at it?
3.) It’s cheating. Sure—and playing Risk is just like nuking North America. It’s fantasy, people. Get with the program. Cheating involves interpersonal interaction. If you think the characters in a porno are talking to you, seek help.
4.) It makes women jealous. What the hell do you think seeing Brad Pitt or Pierce Brosnan on the cover of Rolling Stone or People does to guys? And if you’re into the Even Steven thing, gay men and hetero women have Playgirl to get their fix (though Playgirl is admittedly an online-only publication now). Plus, don’t forget about Scarlet—the U.K.’s “hottest women’s magazine.”
5.) Porn is addictive. Some go so far as to say it’s like cancer, eating away at someone until the problem finally gets recognized only far too late. Better throw McDonald’s, TV game shows, and tattoos into this mix, too. Plus money. And The World of Warcraft. And the whole damn Internet, for that matter.
After all, the 1972 smash Deep Throat didn’t make $600 million because of the catchy-assed music soundtrack with such hits as “I’d Like To Teach The World To Screw.”
1.) It objectifies women. So does pop music, CNN, reality TV, and most clothing designers. (And let’s be honest—most males objectify women far before their first illicit glimpse of magazine or cable TV porn. Just the idea of seeing a single booby at age fourteen was enough to make me blow a load in my pants. A girl? No. But a booby? Absolutely.)
2.) It will mess with your expectations of sex. Yes and no—but in a good way. Since the average American doesn’t read a non-fiction book after graduating high school, you can’t count on the Kama Sutra to deliver all the techniques and ideas one needs to get beyond the missionary fuck-by-numbers routine that surely contributes to our 50 percent divorce rate. Why not shoot for the moon and save a few marriages while you’re at it?
3.) It’s cheating. Sure—and playing Risk is just like nuking North America. It’s fantasy, people. Get with the program. Cheating involves interpersonal interaction. If you think the characters in a porno are talking to you, seek help.
4.) It makes women jealous. What the hell do you think seeing Brad Pitt or Pierce Brosnan on the cover of Rolling Stone or People does to guys? And if you’re into the Even Steven thing, gay men and hetero women have Playgirl to get their fix (though Playgirl is admittedly an online-only publication now). Plus, don’t forget about Scarlet—the U.K.’s “hottest women’s magazine.”
5.) Porn is addictive. Some go so far as to say it’s like cancer, eating away at someone until the problem finally gets recognized only far too late. Better throw McDonald’s, TV game shows, and tattoos into this mix, too. Plus money. And The World of Warcraft. And the whole damn Internet, for that matter.
After all, the 1972 smash Deep Throat didn’t make $600 million because of the catchy-assed music soundtrack with such hits as “I’d Like To Teach The World To Screw.”
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