I got my first porn DVD a little while ago (Playgirl: Bodies in Heat, if you're curious), and I finally got around to watching some of it. I picked a scene at random, and things started out all right. The narration described a woman performing a magic act and bringing a volunteer onstage. Naturally, this being porn, there weren't any magic tricks going on, just sex. Fine by me. The scene wasn't too bad, but at random, the narrator would break my focus with some of the most cheeseball puns I've ever heard (incidentally, narration in porn should be reserved for shots between sex scenes, am I right?).

Probably the one that made me laugh the hardest was referring to the guy's penis as a "magic wand," though mentioning a levitation trick and "making something else rise" comes in as a close second. I don't mind porn having a comedic angle from time to time, but only if that's the intention... this was just bad.

So can anyone out there top this? Bad puns? Cornball dialog? What's the most cheeseball thing you've ever heard while watching porn?