Do you ever feel "silly" or "weird" when you're in the moment?

Contributor: Nazaress Nazaress
I want to get into some light BDSM with my boyfriend and maybe further than that. My biggest problem is getting him interested and in the moment. He's admitted to sometimes feeling a little silly and/or weird when he's talking dirty or being rough with me. Do you ever feel like this? Private voting, just in case.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Yes, all the time
8  (5%)
Yes, sometimes
96  (59%)
Yes, rarely
28  (17%)
No, never
17  (10%)
I used to but not anymore
12  (7%)
Other (Explain)
2  (1%)
Total votes: 163
Poll is closed
02/07/2012
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Contributor: calliope calliope
Yes sometimes. I tend to laugh in awkward nervous situations. I can't help it. It never helps the situation!
02/07/2012
Contributor: SiNn SiNn
Quote:
Originally posted by Nazaress
I want to get into some light BDSM with my boyfriend and maybe further than that. My biggest problem is getting him interested and in the moment. He's admitted to sometimes feeling a little silly and/or weird when he's talking dirty or being ... more
i have been nervouse the first time thing
02/07/2012
Contributor: Lover of Leather Lover of Leather
Yes, sometimes we do, but if we're not laughing somewhere in the middle of sex from something that we didn't do well, or goofed up, then we feel we're not doing something right. It's all about the fun, let go and enjoy yourselves, and by all means, laugh at yourselves whenever possible.
02/07/2012
Contributor: Amelia Stone Amelia Stone
Here is a story for you. I've always liked candle wax. I use slowly make layers over my hands and on my skin. Well when William and I first tried using it in sex. It had taken me MONTHS to get up the nerve to ask tell him about this idea. I was tied at the time and I'd never had anyone actually pour wax on me. To say I was nervous is an understatement and he hadn't quite gotten the ties down. Well after the first few little drops he tickled my foot at the wrong time and my foot slipped the hold and found the jewels causing him to spill hot wax ALL over me in one swoop with me still mostly tied....... It HURT ... But now is really funny to look on.

What I'm saying here is we all get nervous and I know I get shy about things I want. Mostly I think it comes from ourselves and being worried that we'll say something that is outside our partners 'freak' zone. There's that fine line of what one person says is 'kinky' and what another says is 'okay you're nuts' so people fear it. Causing you to feel 'silly and weird' as you put it
02/07/2012
Contributor: Kitka Kitka
Only sometimes but I usually end up laughing at myself and getting over it and I think that kinda makes it more fun for everyone. Being serious all the time sucks lol.
02/07/2012
Contributor: Princess-Kayla ♥ Princess-Kayla ♥
Sometimes. I usually laugh if I feel awkward, so I think it sometimes makes my man feel bad.
02/07/2012
Contributor: TheSinDoll TheSinDoll
My most dreaded/favorite is when, during a scene, someone swings something at me and I instinctively dodge. There's usually a small bit of laughter, but he gets his in the end.

Sometimes I'll be in a scene and we'll both be laughing. If you cant have fun with it - what's the point in doing it?

If you're new... take your time, it'll come.
02/07/2012
Contributor: Hallmar82 Hallmar82
Only rarely if we're in costume during play before getting fully into the scene.
02/07/2012
Contributor: kawigrl kawigrl
it's pretty normal to feel that way once in a while just both try to keep positive
02/07/2012
Contributor: BuckeyeGal04 BuckeyeGal04
I have that inhibition as well. It's slowly going away. I think it's important to have both of you realize that you're having fun, and laughter actually is a good thing!
02/07/2012
Contributor: voenne voenne
Quote:
Originally posted by BuckeyeGal04
I have that inhibition as well. It's slowly going away. I think it's important to have both of you realize that you're having fun, and laughter actually is a good thing!
Totally agree! I'm very inhibited as well, but I'm slowly gaining the confidence to not take things so seriously, let go and just have fun.
02/08/2012
Contributor: Roz W Roz W
I'm told giggling is much more common among people having kinky sex than those who aren't would imagine.
02/08/2012
Contributor: Serena Shirley Serena Shirley
Quote:
Originally posted by Roz W
I'm told giggling is much more common among people having kinky sex than those who aren't would imagine.
I can probably agree with this statement. I'm a natural giggler. When "Daddy" says "good girl" I giggle with delight. It's it's own giggle though, because I only giggle like that when I'm feeling self-satisfied for being especially naughty or "good" in a naughty way.
02/08/2012
Contributor: Puss in Boots Puss in Boots
Sex is silly, period. Embrace it.
02/10/2012
Contributor: Lizzy Lizzy
no i don't
02/10/2012
Contributor: ladychristie ladychristie
I used to and then one morning that all changed with J. I was always very self conscious and by him just saying don't you trust me, I realized I was being silly and now I have no problem with anything with him.
02/10/2012
Contributor: Stinkytofu10 Stinkytofu10
Yep, whenever we experiment something new a lot of times it feels silly, but we talk about it and whether or not we would like to see it incorporated into future play.
02/10/2012
Contributor: dks210 dks210
On rare occasions, if I'm just not really in the mood, but do it anyway.
02/15/2012
Contributor: PassionateLover2 PassionateLover2
Quote:
Originally posted by Nazaress
I want to get into some light BDSM with my boyfriend and maybe further than that. My biggest problem is getting him interested and in the moment. He's admitted to sometimes feeling a little silly and/or weird when he's talking dirty or being ... more
In some of the fantasy books I have read, there are HOT stories which should get him comfortable and maybe, just maybe he will change his mind and get him into the moment!!!
02/15/2012
Contributor: spineyogurt spineyogurt
I get really into it, nothing weird
02/16/2012
Contributor: LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Quote:
Originally posted by Nazaress
I want to get into some light BDSM with my boyfriend and maybe further than that. My biggest problem is getting him interested and in the moment. He's admitted to sometimes feeling a little silly and/or weird when he's talking dirty or being ... more
Not common
02/19/2012
Contributor: asoutherngirl asoutherngirl
Quote:
Originally posted by Nazaress
I want to get into some light BDSM with my boyfriend and maybe further than that. My biggest problem is getting him interested and in the moment. He's admitted to sometimes feeling a little silly and/or weird when he's talking dirty or being ... more
Yes sometimes. My boyfriend does when we roleplay. He is fine with the sex part, but not so much with the dirty talk.
03/01/2012
Contributor: PirateofPenance PirateofPenance
Quote:
Originally posted by Nazaress
I want to get into some light BDSM with my boyfriend and maybe further than that. My biggest problem is getting him interested and in the moment. He's admitted to sometimes feeling a little silly and/or weird when he's talking dirty or being ... more
I spend a lot of time in my head, so yeah, occasionally. But I feel silly every so often doing vanilla stuff. Sex is really silly!
03/02/2012
Contributor: Loriandhubby Loriandhubby
i feel a little weird but I keep trying to get more comfrtable with it.
03/04/2012
Contributor: SmutGeek SmutGeek
When I first started out with some over-the-phone play and face-to-face stuff. Sometimes a great way to do this is to get into character by starting early, before you even get into the bedroom. Send each other messages online, through texts, etc. Work through foreplay before you even touch.
03/04/2012
Contributor: kittenfacery kittenfacery
Quote:
Originally posted by Nazaress
I want to get into some light BDSM with my boyfriend and maybe further than that. My biggest problem is getting him interested and in the moment. He's admitted to sometimes feeling a little silly and/or weird when he's talking dirty or being ... more
It's okay to giggle, so it's not a problem really. I've found it gets a lot less 'weird' with practise and especially with communication. have a chat beforehand and giggle about stuff. it won't make anything less awesome
05/07/2012
Contributor: gsfanatic gsfanatic
It can easily be a bit silly, and both of enjoy that fact. If we took it too serious, it wouldn't be a fun.
05/07/2012
Contributor: Azule Azule
Sometimes because it's hard not to block out everything else we were talking about or doing that day. My mind tends to wonder occasionally.
05/07/2012
Contributor: Greenleaf Greenleaf
Yep! But sex can be silly, and I'm sort of an awkward penguin anyways. I just try to run with it.
05/07/2012