I'd really appreciate some advice on a situation I'm dealing with right now. More context can be found in my blog post, but I'll summarize here.
I've been sleeping with someone who lives in another part of the country. We meet up about once a month and have a lot of sex. I don't have much "real-life" experience with BDSM, and he had no experience with it at all, but we've been exploring together and he's really interested in it.
This morning, he emailed me saying he wants to try going "beyond the bedroom" to have a Dom/sub relationship that permeates all aspects of our lives. I'm personally interested in exploring this, but we've also started getting closer emotionally, and I don't know how to balance "the game" with us being our "out-of-bedroom" selves, especially because I am a pretty aggressive, dominant person outside of the bedroom. If it were someone I didn't know that well, that's one thing, but I actually like his "real" personality a lot. I don't want to feel like I'm constantly his little girl. Sometimes I just want us to be ourselves.
Can anyone shed some light on how others manage this? If you engage in 24/7-style BDSM with a significant other, how do you guys maintain the other emotional aspects of your relationship on a daily basis?
(Just to clarify, we are not monogamous and neither of us have expectations to ever do so. The distance is a limiting factor, plus the fact that I recently got out of a relationship.)
I've been sleeping with someone who lives in another part of the country. We meet up about once a month and have a lot of sex. I don't have much "real-life" experience with BDSM, and he had no experience with it at all, but we've been exploring together and he's really interested in it.
This morning, he emailed me saying he wants to try going "beyond the bedroom" to have a Dom/sub relationship that permeates all aspects of our lives. I'm personally interested in exploring this, but we've also started getting closer emotionally, and I don't know how to balance "the game" with us being our "out-of-bedroom" selves, especially because I am a pretty aggressive, dominant person outside of the bedroom. If it were someone I didn't know that well, that's one thing, but I actually like his "real" personality a lot. I don't want to feel like I'm constantly his little girl. Sometimes I just want us to be ourselves.
Can anyone shed some light on how others manage this? If you engage in 24/7-style BDSM with a significant other, how do you guys maintain the other emotional aspects of your relationship on a daily basis?
(Just to clarify, we are not monogamous and neither of us have expectations to ever do so. The distance is a limiting factor, plus the fact that I recently got out of a relationship.)
