Pain

Hey Db,any chance of completing your profile Community needs more members

Are you inquiring about butt smacking or

More info will get you better responses.

Tell him you want to feel more and that he should be rougher/harder with you. You could also set up a if this happens then he is rougher type of thing, and try to get him to "punish" you.

The only real option you truly have is to sit down and explain from A to Z what you are into and what you want. You explain the rules, the safe words and you explain the limits and how far you are willing to push those limits.

Story time.

Does anyone know the term Sexual Masochism Disorder?

It is the condition of experiencing recurring and intense sexual arousal in response to enduring extreme pain, suffering, or humiliation.

I have had the fortunate/unfortunate experience of bedding an "Exclusive masochist" (that is someone who cannot achieve orgasm without pain or humiliation).

Before anything happened we sat down together and explained what we were both into, what we were willing to do. She was into extreme self mutilation, cutting and blood play. That was off the table for me. But we compromised on whips, paddles and batons. Spiked penetrative toys, rough bead and manual asphyxiation.

I'm not a sadist by a long shot, I do not get off inflicting pain, but I do get off on watching people in pleasure. And the whole reason we got together was because I had a lovely high powered sex machine rig at the time (A 900mm shunt powered by a 24V DC electric motor).

So we had sex, or I had sex with her which did nothing for her but it got me off then I strapped her down onto a futon and loaded the rig. She was so wet with anticipation, and when I whipped and paddled her she only got more intense then when we started the machine with a 9 inch rather firm brutally ribbed dong she really got off.

Had I not sat down an talked it over with her I would not have known her limits and she would not have known mine. I simply kept the emergency off switch next to her hand and reapplied lube every 5 minutes.

Once she had enough vaginally I flipped her over and she tried a bulbous 7 inch bully anally, while I whipped her back from time to time.

It was cute, horrifying and sexual at the same time. I got off several times with her mouth whenever she wasn't gagged.

I have had a similar problem - but with patience and few well placed hints in the heat of the moment, my wife is starting to use a level of force that I find stimulating.

It really is about communicating what you want - but I am a firm believer in gradualism. I never push too hard, too fast, or too soon. A marriage is marathon there is no need to go faster than your partner can accept.

Case in point - it took more than 25 years to convince my wife to have anal sex. Now she loves it - it was worth the wait for both of us.

You have to communicate with your partner your wants, needs, desires. We talk about everything first upfront. I've told him he could be rougher when love making.