The purpose of this poll is to see what the community about who is really the one in control in a BDSM relationship. Yes the Dom/master is the one who seems to have the power, but he cannot do anything without the Sub/Slaves permission.
Who is Really in Control? The Dom/Master or the Sub/Slave
05/06/2012
- 1
- 2
- 3
- 4
- 5
Depends on whether or not there is TPE. If there's TPE, the Dom/me would hold that power; if there isn't, the power is evenly split.
05/06/2012
The submissive is truly the master. Nothing goes without their approval, no matter how badly the dom/me wants to do it.
05/06/2012
Where is the both option? Sure the dominant person has the implied power in the relationship, but they need a certain degree of permission and consent from the sub, but there is always an ebb and flow/push and pull to any sort of D/s relationship. No matter what the nature of the relationship each has times and situations where they truly control all the power in the moment.
05/06/2012
In the fantasy world, the Dominant is in control. And yes, they do make the slave jump through their hoops so to some degree (let's just say half), the Dom IS in control. But on the other hand, the submissive has to give permission for their treatment and play along. And even more than that (or at least in my case as an online Mistress), the Dom has the fulfill the sub's fantasies and pretty much every one of their actions in some way is to satisfy the sub. The Dom ends up doing most of the work, setting up the scene and playing it out. The sub just has to "lay back" and take it, having almost all of the actions satisfy them in some way. So who is really in charge? Needless to say, I guess it's about 50/50 but let's not tell our subs that, shall we?
05/06/2012
Quote:
I have to agree with you on this one Stormy
Originally posted by
Ansley
The submissive is truly the master. Nothing goes without their approval, no matter how badly the dom/me wants to do it.
05/06/2012
Quote:
LOL Nazaress I agree and don't worry I would never tell my sub that, and I hope she never figures that out lol.
Originally posted by
Nazaress
In the fantasy world, the Dominant is in control. And yes, they do make the slave jump through their hoops so to some degree (let's just say half), the Dom IS in control. But on the other hand, the submissive has to give permission for their
...
more
In the fantasy world, the Dominant is in control. And yes, they do make the slave jump through their hoops so to some degree (let's just say half), the Dom IS in control. But on the other hand, the submissive has to give permission for their treatment and play along. And even more than that (or at least in my case as an online Mistress), the Dom has the fulfill the sub's fantasies and pretty much every one of their actions in some way is to satisfy the sub. The Dom ends up doing most of the work, setting up the scene and playing it out. The sub just has to "lay back" and take it, having almost all of the actions satisfy them in some way. So who is really in charge? Needless to say, I guess it's about 50/50 but let's not tell our subs that, shall we?
less
05/06/2012
Quote:
true Boink i should have put in a couple more options in there.
Originally posted by
Ciao.
Where is the both option? Sure the dominant person has the implied power in the relationship, but they need a certain degree of permission and consent from the sub, but there is always an ebb and flow/push and pull to any sort of D/s relationship.
...
more
Where is the both option? Sure the dominant person has the implied power in the relationship, but they need a certain degree of permission and consent from the sub, but there is always an ebb and flow/push and pull to any sort of D/s relationship. No matter what the nature of the relationship each has times and situations where they truly control all the power in the moment.
less
05/06/2012
In my relationship it's pretty equal as far as power goes. I have limits and they must be respected, whilst Master makes sure to hold up her end of the bargain as the Dominant partner.
05/06/2012
Submissive has more power, since the dominant has to be careful and respectful.
05/06/2012
Sub. Without their consent, nothing would be happening.
Well. I hope not.
Well. I hope not.
05/07/2012
Quote:
If the Dom/me is ethical you are totally correct!
Originally posted by
USJT130119200518
The purpose of this poll is to see what the community about who is really the one in control in a BDSM relationship. Yes the Dom/master is the one who seems to have the power, but he cannot do anything without the Sub/Slaves permission.
05/07/2012
The act of submitting, of giving oneself by choice, is the ultimate control in the relationship. Control is relinquished and given to one's master by choice and can be revoked by choice as well. The control the dominant has is a magical illusion, the fantasy.
05/07/2012
Quote:
The sub always has the real control
Originally posted by
USJT130119200518
The purpose of this poll is to see what the community about who is really the one in control in a BDSM relationship. Yes the Dom/master is the one who seems to have the power, but he cannot do anything without the Sub/Slaves permission.
05/08/2012
If a safe word is honored the slave is in control. The dominant however has control of the situation.
05/11/2012
Quote:
Nothing is done without it being consensual
Originally posted by
USJT130119200518
The purpose of this poll is to see what the community about who is really the one in control in a BDSM relationship. Yes the Dom/master is the one who seems to have the power, but he cannot do anything without the Sub/Slaves permission.
05/24/2012
Quote:
I think then dominant partner has more immediate power. And that's what I like because when I'm submissive it's like I have no responsibility or control. And I love that
Originally posted by
USJT130119200518
The purpose of this poll is to see what the community about who is really the one in control in a BDSM relationship. Yes the Dom/master is the one who seems to have the power, but he cannot do anything without the Sub/Slaves permission.
06/04/2012
I'm a little disturbed by the results of this poll.
07/17/2012
Quote:
Why is that?
Originally posted by
charletnarouh
I'm a little disturbed by the results of this poll.
07/17/2012
As a submissive person, I've realized that I'm actually the one who is controlling the situation at the end of the day.
07/18/2012
Quote:
I'm kind of curious as to who's voting which way!
Originally posted by
charletnarouh
I'm a little disturbed by the results of this poll.
07/18/2012
I think it's a combination of the two.
07/18/2012
Kinda both, which isn't an option. The sub has control first by choosing to give power over to the Dom. Without the control over giving control, no power play can exist. Once handed over, the Dom then controls what happens and when. Different people in different relationships have various amounts of "no power," as my husband calls it. Some will negotiate regularly, some one and done. For us, my husband has a checklist for me of things I'll do and things that are hard limits. When/if those things happen is in his control. If I don't want to do something and it's not a hard limit, I relinquished the control to say no. Of course, if I call it too far, it stops, and thus I still have some level of control maintained on the situation.
So I guess basically I disagree with the "has the sub's permission" bit, because my permission is not obtained each and every time. I just hold veto power basically and only in extreme circumstances, not just 'cause I feel like saying no.
So I guess basically I disagree with the "has the sub's permission" bit, because my permission is not obtained each and every time. I just hold veto power basically and only in extreme circumstances, not just 'cause I feel like saying no.
07/18/2012
Quote:
Because of how many people view the Dominant as having the "real" power in the relationship. It makes me worry for the safety of people who actually play and/or live that way.
Originally posted by
DeliciousSurprise
Why is that?
07/18/2012
Kira just nailed it for me up there! I can't really add much to what she said, because that sums up my own views pretty well.
And Charlernarouh, I see what you mean. In the past I've played with people who seem to have the view that they, as Dominant, have the "real" power. I've noticed they're good at "forgetting" things that were brought up during negotiation. That made me EXTRA careful, and I'm much better off these days.
And Charlernarouh, I see what you mean. In the past I've played with people who seem to have the view that they, as Dominant, have the "real" power. I've noticed they're good at "forgetting" things that were brought up during negotiation. That made me EXTRA careful, and I'm much better off these days.
07/18/2012
Quote:
I feel like the sub/slaves are actually the ones in control.
Originally posted by
USJT130119200518
The purpose of this poll is to see what the community about who is really the one in control in a BDSM relationship. Yes the Dom/master is the one who seems to have the power, but he cannot do anything without the Sub/Slaves permission.
07/18/2012
i think the slave does
07/18/2012
I think sub since they set up their limits beforehand
07/18/2012
i would say the submissive
07/20/2012
I feel like the sub does.
07/21/2012
Total posts: 36
Unique posters: 29
-
1
- 2