Ethics/Usefulness of Reviewing a Harness

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Dusk

I have a bit of an odd question, but here goes...

A company I'm familiar with is currently accepting applications to review a few of their harnesses, and while my partner and I have talked about working him up to anal play in the future, we're not quite there yet. However, I'm interesting in reviewing a harness if possible because I've never owned one, I'd like to see how they work for comfort, etc. and because pegging is a possibility in the future. I would also really like to see how it feels to have such an extension of my body from a gender curiosity point of view.

I'm wondering, what are your feelings about reviewing a harness when there will not be pegging involved? I would certainly be able to write a lot about comfort, sizing, compatibility with dildos (I have a tantus Rascal headed my way with which to try it out!). I just wouldn't be able to comment on the actual pegging experience.

Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):

This kind of review would still be useful

Selective Sensualist , Kindred , ToyTimeTim , ZenaidaMacroura , Porfiriato , ToyGeek , Emma (Girl With Fire) , Jimbo Jones , firekitten , DeliciousSurprise , Waterfall , Research , Darling Jen , Coralbell , bend over hottie , Adriana Ravenlust , TitsMcScandal , Midway through , Beaners , bzzingbee , loveshocks , J's Alley , rdytogo , Rockin' , onehotmomma , Kim! , Liz2 , sarahbear , Airen Wolf , meganthomas , Madeira , married with children , Redboxbaby , Kissaki , Angel deSanguine , Kayla , Gallowraven , dv8 , gothikstars , Twinkies , Kitty Stryker , A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople) , Spilock , AYoungMan , CafeSabroso , Lummox , Collodion , Love&War , kokopelli , l'amour , Old Geezer , JewelsAndB , potstickers , Jenyana , kinksters , phunkyphreak , Triangles , EvilHomer , Nora , LaLaLouise , bayosgirl , toysforall , Eva Schwaltz , Diabolical Kitty , XeroXion , Ava5 , BabyL0ve , PonyGirl Sin , HouseWench , indiglo , GONE! , Fawkes , Thegreatmicah , ellejay , Missmarc

75 (87%)

No, you shouldn't review it until you can give the full experience

Sir , navigator-d , just a sub , Owl Identified , Miss Madeline , P'Gell , Tasty Latina , Rawhide , sealoque53a

9 (10%)

Other (explain below)

LikeSunshineDust , clp

2 (2%)

Total votes: 86

Poll is closed

12/11/2010

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GingerAnn

Engaging topic analysis of Strap on dildo:

Remote control butterfly™
That butterfly does it have multy speed option?

How often do you wear your strap on?
Do you use it specifically for pack and play or just during sex? My partner wears hers as much as possible! If we're out, Silky's on, and if we're in,

How does one get their wife interested....
How does one get their wife interested, in using toys on the husband? Or strapon play? My wife is rather submissive, but sometimes, gets ornery, and

Large and good material/price
I want to try strap-ons, does anyone know of any good ones that aren't expensive (nothing over 150 unless you mention a cheaper one in the same post..

Strap on for hand held?
what do you use them for most oftin?

12/11/2010

Kindred

I think you could still absolutely provide helpful information. Although you may not actually be using it for pegging, I don't think that really matters. I would think that most people are going to be interested in how the harness fits and feels. Yo can still also place a dildo in it and describe how that feels. Experience with pegging can be helpful, but there will be a lot of different factors such as partner size, position, dildo used, etc. that will influence each individual experience, so it's not always relevant.

Can you tell the company you might not use it for pegging but explain that you feel you can still offer valid information in a review?

12/11/2010

ToyTimeTim

If nothing else maybe he could wear it with his penis through the hole.
I would think that how it fits and the ability to adjust the position of the dildo would be just as important as how it worked in use.

Who knows, maybe when you have it your partner will be willing to give it a try.

12/11/2010

Porfiriato

I totally agree with @Kindred, it's more about how it fits and feels than anything else. Besides, since a lot of the harnesses do not come with dildos, that part of the experience will be different for every user, since there are a variety of dildos the harnesses will be compatible with.

12/11/2010

ToyGeek

I agree with the others. The fit, the quality of the leather, the ease of use, and where it positions the dildo on the giver's body are most of the review, and the in use part varies depending on what dildo you use anyway.

12/11/2010

Emma (Girl With Fire)

I agree with everybody else. I put all of the other aspects before use, use depends on so many factors, dildo/vibrator choice, positioning etc. A person who is pegging or using it with another woman could easily be inexperienced and write a bad review on usefulness when the problem had to do with something else.

12/11/2010

Dusk

Thank you for all of the comments, everyone! You all helped solidify the ideas I was having; I'm not crazy after all

12/11/2010

Kindred

Quote:

Originally posted by Dusk

Thank you for all of the comments, everyone! You all helped solidify the ideas I was having; I'm not crazy after all

Well, to be honest we never said you weren't crazy...

12/11/2010

Beaners

Not like you really need more positive reinforcement, but I agree with what everyone else already said. It's definitely important to try out and get used to a harness before you even think about getting it near anyone's butt, and I think it would be perfectly valid to write a review like this.

12/14/2010

Sir

I do not feel that the review is useful. Until you put it in use, you cannot see how the harness holds up.

12/14/2010

J's Alley

I can see this being useful. I have a dear friend who wears her harness all the time...they rarely use it for sex, she just enjoys having it on...you could be of real use to some people.

12/15/2010

rdytogo

Just be honest during your review, but it never hurts to hear another persons perspective.

12/15/2010

Rockin'

I agree with a lot of what has been said already. It's good to know about how a harness fits, if it's easily adjusted, what types of dildos work well in it, etc. If you are looking for ways to try it out, but can't peg, maybe you could try pegging a sleeve or fleshlight, or getting your partner to give you head. Those things would help you see how it feels to maneuver yourself while wearing the harness.

12/15/2010

Sir

Quote:

Originally posted by Rockin'

That would work, most definitely. But not pegging at all, for me, would make it not useful.

12/15/2010

LikeSunshineDust

I think many aspects of the review could still be helpful like the feel of the material, comfort, looks, fit, etc. but the reader might be left a little confused by a line like "I haven't actually used it yet."

12/15/2010

ScottA

I'm not sure that she's talking about an EF review here.

If you think through what you are going to try the harness out with in order to test out its capabilities a review similar to the one you're proposing would be more useful than one of the "I pulled it out of the box, strapped it on, told my BF to bend over and went to town. It worked great" type. Examine how it fits (the more body styles it is tried on the better), how adjustable it is, how well it holds dildos, if it pinches or restricts movement, etc. You can also look at alternate uses: Can your husband wear it comfortably for DP or dildo play? Can it be used on objects? There are many possibilities.

If you put it on and try it out you are using the harness. Just develop a test protocol that puts similar requirements on the harness as there would be if you were using it for partner sex. Lastly, don't claim anything you haven't done. There's no need to.

12/15/2010

Liz2

By all means go for it and if you do get the chance to peg, add it later to your review. Pegging is only part of harness use. I put it on, alone, I practice thrusts, various dils for fit, feel, weight and the overall comfort of the harness. Also some girls will wear a harness, with a dil, for packing w/o a thought of pegging.

12/15/2010

clp

On the one hand, I see this as being useful because there is no one 'right' way to use toys--just because it normally goes with sex doesn't mean that it has to. The only person that can say the best way to use their toys is the individual.

On the other hand... is that your intended use? What if you feel one way beforehand, while you write the review, but completely different afterwards? Would you write a follow up?

Thats kind of a hard call for someone else to make, it really is just up to you.

12/15/2010

Dusk

Thanks for all of the comments and suggestions! I really liked the idea of pegging a fleshlight and having my partner give me head...I definitely keep thinking about the last one. I appreciate all of the thoughtful responses.

And @CLP, I would definitely write a follow up if/when needed.

12/17/2010

Owl Identified

As someone that pegs, I don't read reviews of harnesses for a product description. Everything I need to know about sizing, the material and stuff like that I can find in a product overview.

I read reviews because I want to hear about the experiences of people actually putting them to use. If I read a vibrator review I don't know want to simply read a list of its different functions - I want to know how they feel. If I read a review for a Vixskin product, I don't just want to know that it felt squishy in your hands - I want to know if it felt "realistic" upon insertion. If I read a review for a harness I want to know how it works in actual use.

I'm sure there are many people that would enjoy reading your review, but I would not find it useful personally. This is, of course, just one person's perspective.

01/28/2011

Miss Madeline

I am shopping for my first harness and the things that I look for in a review are things like: how comfortable it was for the wearer, does the dildo shift around during the pegging, and did the wearer experience any chafing from the materials.

Some of what I want to know can be achieved just by putting the harness on, but more of what I want to know can only be reported on after using the harness.

01/31/2011

Kitty Stryker

Quote:

Originally posted by Beaners

Bingo! Getting to know your harness is hugely important in the use of it.

Plus, if you can't put it in his ass, what about his mouth?

02/01/2011

Dusk

Quote:

Originally posted by Kitty Stryker

Bingo! Getting to know your harness is hugely important in the use of it.

Plus, if you can't put it in his ass, what about his mouth?

That's my plan

02/01/2011

CafeSabroso

Quote:

Originally posted by Kitty Stryker

Bingo! Getting to know your harness is hugely important in the use of it.

Plus, if you can't put it in his ass, what about his mouth?

Great point

03/08/2011

soyandapplecrisp

I think that the importance of the comfort and fit along with dildo compatibility and the like would be more important than the actual experience since that's what most people will be looking for information wise. You could probably add a side note saying it wasn't used for pegging and amend the review to include that part later.

03/28/2011

Love&War

You can describe alot more about an item merely by having it in your hands vs the pictures online. Be as specific as you can when describing the look, feel, etc. other than uses.

07/05/2011

Dusk

It's taken so long for us to finally get around to using it, but I'm loving the Joque! We fooled around with that and my Tantus Vamp and it was so much fun making M suck me. It was also a great lesson in how hard it is being the one with the penis - he had to remind me not to press too deep, haha!

07/05/2011

toysforall

No, I think that type of review would still be awesome. The style and fit and quality is just as important.

08/20/2011

P'Gell

I turned down the chance to do a review for a pair of packing trunks. I don't pack, it isn't something I know enough about to do. I felt that product was best reserved for someone who regularly used the product and/or would use the kind of product in their every day lives or at least occasionally.

I think that harnesses are used for mostly pegging and having vaginal or anal sex with women. If you do neither, it would be difficult to relate to the experience of doing either or both. Without actually using it to penetrate an other person, how would the reviewer know how it holds up, how the dildo fits while in motion, whether it needs to be adjusted while in use, if the pressure of pegging or screwing a woman would put pleasant or unpleasant pleasure on the user of the harness, whether or not the dildo stays in place with an other person on the other side etc. Without using the product the way most people would use it, I think it is pretty difficult to know how it would work for someone who does use it the way it was intended.

From what I hear from friends, there is more to a harness and a packer than just fit. Real use wear and how they hold up is important to people who use these products on a regular basis.

JMO. Mileage and all that.

08/20/2011

Total posts: 33 Unique posters: 27

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