My boyfriend wanted to spice things up, stripping himself down and watching me clean in a maid outfit with two toys stuck in me. If I didn't clean fast enough, I would be punished (sexually of course ). While it was arousing, sometimes I would bend over and clean something and the toy would hurt if I bent a certain way. Is this dangerous? I kinda just kept quiet about the pain.
Bad to walk around with toys inside?
07/12/2012
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It depends on your anatomy and what kind of toys you're using. I would say listen to your body and have open communication with your boyfriend about your concerns. You can also talk to your doctor about it. Helping you stay healthy and safe is what they're there for.
07/12/2012
Even in a D/s relationship, or in D/s role play, you have a right to a Safe Word and a right to be healthy and to put Hard Limits (things you negotiate you simply will not do) on things.
Sometimes when playing with D/s roles, we want... intense sensations. But, for me, if a dildo is thrusted too fast or causes the wrong kind of intense sensation (aka pain) I SAY something. I still have a right to my body, and My Man doesn't want to harm me. The idea behind a lot of D/s or BDSM play may be some pain but not harm. If that makes sense. I view "harm" as lasting damage or any intense sensation I don't want at the moment. There are also right ways and wrong ways to thrust a dildo or vibrator, depending on that individual's body.
For us, the Safe Word is there for these purposes. In most cases Safe Words or Safe Motions (if you cannot speak) are exempted from "permission to speak" scenes.
As for "telling your doctor." I wouldn't. Most doctors are trained to think BDSM is a sign of emotional illness and most know nothing about The Lifestyle. It could do you more harm than good to say something to your doctor, and you may not be treated with the respect you deserve, even when sick. And your doctor may end up blaming any and all illnesses and injuries on "the abuse." (I'm a nurse, I work with doctors. I wouldn't mention BDSM activities to any physician unless you know he or she is familiar and friendly with the lifestyle.)
Sometimes when playing with D/s roles, we want... intense sensations. But, for me, if a dildo is thrusted too fast or causes the wrong kind of intense sensation (aka pain) I SAY something. I still have a right to my body, and My Man doesn't want to harm me. The idea behind a lot of D/s or BDSM play may be some pain but not harm. If that makes sense. I view "harm" as lasting damage or any intense sensation I don't want at the moment. There are also right ways and wrong ways to thrust a dildo or vibrator, depending on that individual's body.
For us, the Safe Word is there for these purposes. In most cases Safe Words or Safe Motions (if you cannot speak) are exempted from "permission to speak" scenes.
As for "telling your doctor." I wouldn't. Most doctors are trained to think BDSM is a sign of emotional illness and most know nothing about The Lifestyle. It could do you more harm than good to say something to your doctor, and you may not be treated with the respect you deserve, even when sick. And your doctor may end up blaming any and all illnesses and injuries on "the abuse." (I'm a nurse, I work with doctors. I wouldn't mention BDSM activities to any physician unless you know he or she is familiar and friendly with the lifestyle.)
07/12/2012
It really depends. If it's a glass, wood, stone, or hard plastic toy you should probably not do it again. It could be putting pressure on your pubic bone, and could eventually cause damage. For play like that you may want to just stick with some sexy, silicone toys or small eggs that are meant to be inserted.
I agree, unfortunately most physicians are 60 year old crotchety people. If you feel comfortable with your doctor and they seem to be 'hip' on the sexual side of things you may mention it to them, but otherwise I wouldn't. Unless you have consistent pain and the toys are just aggravating it, there shouldn't be an issue.
I agree, unfortunately most physicians are 60 year old crotchety people. If you feel comfortable with your doctor and they seem to be 'hip' on the sexual side of things you may mention it to them, but otherwise I wouldn't. Unless you have consistent pain and the toys are just aggravating it, there shouldn't be an issue.
07/12/2012
Listen to your body and be honest with your partner.
As for doctors, I agree with the warnings above. Years ago, I went to a doctor for chronic pain, and was made to go for a psych evaluation before they'd do anything else. To my utter shock, most of the question on that evaluation were about sexual fantasies -- did I want to hurt people in bed, did I want to be hurt, etc. I was enough of a prude at the time that I was shocked by the questions, and my answers were all 'of course not' or the like.
When I described my symptoms (which I now know are both common and textbook for the not-rare ailment I had) the doctor told me it was "impossible" that I hurt where I hurt, called me a liar, and told me to lose weight and not come back until I did (I was at most 10 pounds overweight at the time). I spent years sick and in pain. When I finally almost died and ended up in the hospital, I was lucky enough to be so sick I was sent to the nearest hospital, instead of the one my doctor was connected to, so I was correctly diagnosed very quickly, and after two surgeries I'm now pain free and on my way to healthy. After that whole experience I would never trust a doctor at all, let alone with details of an unorthodox lifestyle or sexual activity.
As for doctors, I agree with the warnings above. Years ago, I went to a doctor for chronic pain, and was made to go for a psych evaluation before they'd do anything else. To my utter shock, most of the question on that evaluation were about sexual fantasies -- did I want to hurt people in bed, did I want to be hurt, etc. I was enough of a prude at the time that I was shocked by the questions, and my answers were all 'of course not' or the like.
When I described my symptoms (which I now know are both common and textbook for the not-rare ailment I had) the doctor told me it was "impossible" that I hurt where I hurt, called me a liar, and told me to lose weight and not come back until I did (I was at most 10 pounds overweight at the time). I spent years sick and in pain. When I finally almost died and ended up in the hospital, I was lucky enough to be so sick I was sent to the nearest hospital, instead of the one my doctor was connected to, so I was correctly diagnosed very quickly, and after two surgeries I'm now pain free and on my way to healthy. After that whole experience I would never trust a doctor at all, let alone with details of an unorthodox lifestyle or sexual activity.
07/12/2012
I would say avoid painful activities while starting out. Check out some anatomy books and try and figure out what is happening. It could be harmless, it could be potentially harmful. It is hard to say. I would say start slow and read up on as much as you can.
07/12/2012
Total posts: 6
Unique posters: 6