My mom's come to terms with mine. I have a steady job, I graduated high school and college, I'm in a stable happy relationship, and my tattoos can all easily be hidden. As much as she doesn't like that they're permanent, she has
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My mom's come to terms with mine. I have a steady job, I graduated high school and college, I'm in a stable happy relationship, and my tattoos can all easily be hidden. As much as she doesn't like that they're permanent, she has acknowledged that the artwork is top notch at least.
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right now I only have an elephant on my right shoulder. She has never seen it. I am a black female, a little dark. I remember when I was younger she said something about me being too dark for tattoos and it kinda hurt my feelings. I ignored but found out years later that her mom had told her to put skin lightner on because she was 1 of the 2 darkest people in the family. Just goes to show that black people can be racist too... Sorry about the offtopicness
I'd say that's accurate. I think there's definitely a level of...obsession going on there. But I also think that's the point. She's coming to learn that she NEEDs this. That it feeds something in her. And he's obviously a
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I'd say that's accurate. I think there's definitely a level of...obsession going on there. But I also think that's the point. She's coming to learn that she NEEDs this. That it feeds something in her. And he's obviously a controlling, sadistic son of a bitch
I'd also like to talk a little more about James Spader's character. He is REALLY mean to her sometimes, and not in a fun way. Leading her on, neglecting her, making her feel like crap. I don't feel that it's really intentional on his part. I think he feels guilty for the way he is.
I think it's important to remember that this movie is about HIS transformation too.
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What you said about him being mean makes me think of a D/s relationship where I put up with legit emotional abuse because I wasnt yet at a point where I could tell the difference between kink and abuse, if that makes sense...I think James Spader's character is emotionally abusive to her in some ways.
Some dominants have a hard time reconciling their dominant personality with the person society expects them to be. Especially men. We spend most of their lives telling them no woman would ever enjoy being hurt or controlled. When they develop a
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Some dominants have a hard time reconciling their dominant personality with the person society expects them to be. Especially men. We spend most of their lives telling them no woman would ever enjoy being hurt or controlled. When they develop a propensity for it, and find women who enjoy it, it takes them a minute to really understand that it's not bad or wrong if they've been given consent.
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I understand that, now. It just didn't sit well with me. Again, it's a realistic story and I see how it fits in to their personalities, but as a stereotype, it just frustrated me in a mainstream movie.
What you said about him being mean makes me think of a D/s relationship where I put up with legit emotional abuse because I wasnt yet at a point where I could tell the difference between kink and abuse, if that makes sense...I think James
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What you said about him being mean makes me think of a D/s relationship where I put up with legit emotional abuse because I wasnt yet at a point where I could tell the difference between kink and abuse, if that makes sense...I think James Spader's character is emotionally abusive to her in some ways.
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What's abuse for one may not be for the next person though. They don't really cover what all of Lees kinks are. I have a friend and her dom definitely toys with her emotions, some see it as abuse for sure. For her though, she gets turned on. She hates it, but at the same time she loves it. It makes her push harder.
If you were Lee or Mr. Grey, what would you have done differently?
If I were Mr. Grey I would have stepped up pushing Lee's limits and pressing deeper into the control aspects in a slower, more rhythmic way, not taking tiny steps then large leaps like some uncontrolled creature. But like I said, it's obviously meant to be seen as someone new to domination that doesn't have the experience to do it differently, and just because it's what I do and prefer doesn't mean it's right for everyone either.
I'm codependent, also. Master owns me. I give everything that belongs to me over to him. How could I not be dependent upon him?
There's a difference between having dependence be a negotiated, conscious decision and being unhealthily attached to someone who isn't invested in treating you well.
There's a difference between having dependence be a negotiated, conscious decision and being unhealthily attached to someone who isn't invested in treating you well.
Yeah, I don't think codependent is the word you'd like to use, Rayne Dependent, sure. Interdependent, absolutely. But codependent is no good.
right now I only have an elephant on my right shoulder. She has never seen it. I am a black female, a little dark. I remember when I was younger she said something about me being too dark for tattoos and it kinda hurt my feelings. I ignored but found
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right now I only have an elephant on my right shoulder. She has never seen it. I am a black female, a little dark. I remember when I was younger she said something about me being too dark for tattoos and it kinda hurt my feelings. I ignored but found out years later that her mom had told her to put skin lightner on because she was 1 of the 2 darkest people in the family. Just goes to show that black people can be racist too... Sorry about the offtopicness
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I don't think you can be too dark for tattoos, just for certain colors to show up well. It's true that having dark skin limits what colors you can use. I have a friend who I literally only managed to avoid hitting with my car when backing out of his driveway because he was wearing a light colored shirt, and he's got a lot of black tattoos that I really like because they're so subtle. It's all about working with what you have. I'd love to see a picture of your elephant if you'd like to share it. You can message me later to talk more
I don't think you can be too dark for tattoos, just for certain colors to show up well. It's true that having dark skin limits what colors you can use. I have a friend who I literally only managed to avoid hitting with my car when backing
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I don't think you can be too dark for tattoos, just for certain colors to show up well. It's true that having dark skin limits what colors you can use. I have a friend who I literally only managed to avoid hitting with my car when backing out of his driveway because he was wearing a light colored shirt, and he's got a lot of black tattoos that I really like because they're so subtle. It's all about working with what you have. I'd love to see a picture of your elephant if you'd like to share it. You can message me later to talk more
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cool, will share with you later. Its blue and I think it shows up well on me.
Yeah, I don't think codependent is the word you'd like to use, Rayne Dependent, sure. Interdependent, absolutely. But codependent is no good.
See, that's your opinion though. Telling somebody that when they're happy in their relationship could really hurt them. Everybody works out what's good for them.
See, that's your opinion though. Telling somebody that when they're happy in their relationship could really hurt them. Everybody works out what's good for them.
It's not my opinion, actually...Codependent has a specific definition. It is, by definition, unhealthy.
