Well, I can try one for you guys real quick.

A very short story for you all:

There once was a leprechaun named Lucky. Lucky liked to fondle himself, and liked to do it quite frequently. Only problem Lucky had while pleasuring himself? Contrary to his name, Lucky wasn't really very lucky. When he had first discovered the joys of masturbation, it was quite by accident, and led to a very embarrassing moment as he was discovered by his mother. Later on in life, when Lucky would try to please himself some, he would always be met with a challenge of some sort. Like the time that he tried masturbating near a cliff edge, enjoying the fresh air, and a bear came up out of nowhere and tripped! Sending Lucky catapulting down the embankment he was standing near.

It was a while before Lucky tried his hand at masturbating again, but the next time was almost as disastrous! This time, Lucky was attempting to view a movie of an adult nature, but couldn't quite see the television because of his height. So his answer was to stand on a stool whilst touching himself. Unfortunately for him, this particular stool was where the mice liked to sharpen their teeth, and the back two legs of the stool gave out right when Lucky was getting into it, sending him crashing to the ground.

These days, Lucky has learned his lesson, and now only masturbates under the safety of a blanket cocoon, or in a large padded room that he built himself in the back of his house. less