Fantastic!! So I wasn't doing it wrong, just not right "enough". Good to know and thank you so much for putting all of this together for us Triple T! It's much appreciated!
Fantastic!! So I wasn't doing it wrong, just not right "enough". Good to know and thank you so much for putting all of this together for us Triple T! It's much appreciated!
Seconded! My husband will reap the benefits of my newfound knowledge!
Fantastic!! So I wasn't doing it wrong, just not right "enough". Good to know and thank you so much for putting all of this together for us Triple T! It's much appreciated!
Ditto! Thanks so much for the explanations and video! Very detailed and helpful!
Fantastic!! So I wasn't doing it wrong, just not right "enough". Good to know and thank you so much for putting all of this together for us Triple T! It's much appreciated!
Glad I can help, most of this I have gathered from my time here on the forums. I just figured I could group it all together for everyone.
Let us take a minute to look at massage and stimulation. Many find that a butt plug will provide stimulation to the prostate but for the most part a plug will not massage it. Think of it like this; if your back hurts, what works better to relieve the sore muscles, pushing on them or working them with a kneading like technique? The same will hold true for the Prostate. A static toy, one that does not move, will not do a lot to massage the Prostate. That’s not to say it will not be stimulating, it’s just not massaging it. Make sense?
Awesome -- thanks for the video demo, that's really a huge help! I've been thinking I can't reach far enough, but maybe I'm reaching TOO FAR!
Feeling for that bump is the hardest part most of the time. Honestly, if you can reach your G-spot, you have the basics down. It just feeling for it in a different place.
For the guy that is ready to use a toy for this, I recommend using one by yourself first. This will allow you to get use to the sensations and feel of the toy. When you are ready to let your partner handle the wheel make sure you communicate with them how to use it. This includes how to insert it, how far in and how much pressure to apply.
Basically there are two types of toys that can be used. Those made specifically for Prostate massage like the Aneros/Nexus models and toys like dildo’s and vibes.
This is an example of toy that is inserted and moved “Hands free”
Models from Aneros and Nexus are of the hands free variety. You insert them and use your Kegals/Pelvic muscles to move them in and out. They typically have an extra arm on the base for perineum stimulation. It is generally accepted that these types of toys take time to master, mostly because the stimulation is light and you must learn not only how to make them move but also you have to learn to recognize the stimulation they give. To give you an idea, I have been using a couple of Aneros massagers for over a year and have yet to fully master them. I admit though, I just like to get off and I have not really put the time and effort into mastering them. I will recommend them to any guy though; nothing will let you learn to work your pelvic floor muscles quite like an Aneros Prostate massager.
Feeling for that bump is the hardest part most of the time. Honestly, if you can reach your G-spot, you have the basics down. It just feeling for it in a different place.
I think it is easier to find at times -- based on how aroused he is.
I think it is easier to find at times -- based on how aroused he is.
Big key there! For me it's just a smooth wall in I am not aroused, I can still massage it but that's because I know where it is. The nice part though is when you find it you'll never miss it again.
On the other side of toys you have dildos and vibes. This category is by far easier when it comes to finding something that will work for you. Only you will know what size you can use so I will give you some basic guidelines.
First thing to look at is the safety of the toy. For the most part you are looking for a base that will keep the toys from getting sucked up inside the ass. Pretty much any dil that is harness compatible will work along with those that have “balls” like some of the realistic dildos and vibes. Other toys will work too but here we come to a grey area. There is always talk about what is anal safe in terms of toys. I have many toys that do not have a base and never have I had a scary moment using them. The thing is they are long and I always keep a good grip on them during use. Here you need to use your best judgment. A good rule of thumb is to get something at least six inches long, longer is better. Remember you need about three inches of insertable length so an extra three inches, or more, will give you plenty of grip.
What you want is a toy with a good curve, much like the G-spot toys, and something that is on the firmer side. Straight toys can be used; it just requires you to angle them more. If light stimulation is your preference then a softer material can be used.
With either of the toy styles available there is a bit of a learning curve to inserting them (Mostly Aneros/Nexus type massagers). As you can imagine you cannot just stick it straight in, you have to angle them so that the tip is pointing straight in and then insert. Once the tip is past the inner sphincters’ you can then straighten the rest of the shaft. A lot of the time it is easier to put it in sideways or with the tip pointing down, towards the back, and then twist the toy until the tip is on the Prostate.
From here, it is the same as using your finger. Light, slow strokes work the best, as you feel comfortable you can increase the pressure and speed as you like. Some other ideas for use to try are; using a “Windshield wiper” motion (Twisting the toy right to left), a rocking motion (Basically pushing on the prostate and releasing) or my favorite is a combination of rocking and thrusting. This is kind of like the “come here” motion; apply pressure to the Prostate on the out stroke and then releasing the pressure on the in stroke. This always gives me the best milking thus produces the most pre cum.
What you want is a toy with a good curve, much like the G-spot toys, and something that is on the firmer side. Straight toys can be used; it just requires you to angle them more. If light stimulation is your preference then a softer material can be
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What you want is a toy with a good curve, much like the G-spot toys, and something that is on the firmer side. Straight toys can be used; it just requires you to angle them more. If light stimulation is your preference then a softer material can be used.
With either of the toy styles available there is a bit of a learning curve to inserting them (Mostly Aneros/Nexus type massagers). As you can imagine you cannot just stick it straight in, you have to angle them so that the tip is pointing straight in and then insert. Once the tip is past the inner sphincters’ you can then straighten the rest of the shaft. A lot of the time it is easier to put it in sideways or with the tip pointing down, towards the back, and then twist the toy until the tip is on the Prostate.
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How long is the average inner sphincter?
I had never really noticed any difference from partner to partner, until my current partner, who's got muscles almost the entire length of my middle finger. Then I thought about it, and realized my muscles are way shorter than all the other male partners I've felt, but all of them were similar enough to each other that I didn't notice any differences.
Should this change my approach?
(My current partner is pretty new to receiving anal stimulation, we haven't found his prostate yet (which is weird, for me, because it clicked with most of my former partners on the first or second try).)
One thing I forgot to mention in the video is when you are removing the toy. If it is after an orgasm (Or not), it should be removed the same way as you put it in, just reversed. I find that a toy that is in during orgasm tends to not want to come out. All the muscles in the pelvic region are tight, maybe even still spasing. Just like putting them in, take your time and do not force it. If the guy “pushes” out it will help and most time the toy will come out on its own. Just make sure to guide it out so the curved tip slips out the same way it went in.
