My husband isn't as open sexually as I'm used to, which has caused me to not be as forthcoming with my fantasies. He grew up being taught that sex was bad. He's not very forthcoming with his fantasies either. I've tried to sit him down and talk to him about it and explain that I won't think he's weird and that I'd love to be able to make his fantasies a reality for him. His only response is that I'm his fantasy. Obviously he feels embarrassed to be open about what his real fantasies are. And that's OK. I've been very patient with him and over the past 4 years, he's become a little more kinky in the bedroom. It's a slow process, but one that I'm willing to wait for because he's a good man who treats me amazingly well.
#ExpressLove - Explore Together!
04/13/2012
I have a much easier time expressing myself now in my relationships because I no longer limit my pool of potential friends and companions to people in the same town, same school, same job, etc.
When you go online and meet someone, you can be less inhibited getting the hard introductions and details down while there is little at stake and then bond and become closer because you know from experience you can trust this person and they won't judge or reject you.
My partner now knows he can ask or tell me anything about himself and get a kind and considerate reply, and I get the same with him so we explore all our interests and fantasies together without fear.
When you go online and meet someone, you can be less inhibited getting the hard introductions and details down while there is little at stake and then bond and become closer because you know from experience you can trust this person and they won't judge or reject you.
My partner now knows he can ask or tell me anything about himself and get a kind and considerate reply, and I get the same with him so we explore all our interests and fantasies together without fear.
04/13/2012
I'm not that great at expressing myself. But my new years resolution was to explore my own desires more so I'm getting better I think. At least now I know more about myself and what I want whereas before I was utterly clueless. I've only had one boyfriend and communication in bed was an issue for me. So I'm hoping now that I know myself better it will be easier for me to communicate my wants next time!
Those cake products do sound wonderful though... I may have to get some soon!
Those cake products do sound wonderful though... I may have to get some soon!
04/13/2012
Eden's Cupcakes
Husband and I have been together for 22 years. We make sure to tell each other "I love you" at some time during the day. Usually happens at random times when we're driving in the car, cooking dinner, or shopping for groceries. We always try to make a point to let each other know that we appreciate the things that we do for one another. There is usually something one of us dislikes to do but the other person takes care of it willingly (maybe sometimes not so willingly but it gets done). We do fight and have arguments, but we also make sure to talk it out and resolve the issues. Trust and communication is important in our relationship and the comfort we feel with those shows between (or over) the sheets!
04/13/2012
It is easier because I am comfortable with myself as well as my spouse.
04/13/2012
Quote:
I feel like the older I've gotten, the easier it is for me to explore fantasies and my sexual nature. I believe a lot of it has to do with being able to select better partners, and letting go of that fake face I felt like was necessary as a teenager. It seems that I used to believe that being different was something that society frowned on, and I should conform to standards. The older I get, the less I care and the more I feel passionate about exploring things I enjoy, whether society deems it acceptable sexual behaviour or not. I think that it has to do both with growing up, as well as sexual exploration. Being on Eden has opened me up to so many ideas in a community that is as accepting as it gets.
Originally posted by
Ansley
The world at large has so many things in it to enjoy and discover. All you have to do is reach out and take the chance to find out what's waiting for you. Throughout our lives we are encouraged to explore our surroundings. When we were young, it
...
more
The world at large has so many things in it to enjoy and discover. All you have to do is reach out and take the chance to find out what's waiting for you. Throughout our lives we are encouraged to explore our surroundings. When we were young, it was our duty to find new experiences and ask as many questions as we possibly could until our little brains understood the concept. As teenagers we challenged authority and explored the beginning trappings of relationships, both romantic and platonic. We developed a sense of who we are and what we like, what we don't like and catalog the things we're unsure about.The game changes when we become adults. Or at least so it can seem...we're expected to be well-mannered, well-behaved, and ready to settle down and start good, successful paths in life. That's great and all, but if your marriage or relationship suffers because you aren't exploring what's available to you, what's the point of any of it?Intimacy is the glue that holds a relationship together. Resorting to the same positions time and again, the same sounds, the same experience over and over again leads to a less-than-enthusiastic desire to continue being intimate with one another. Exploring fantasies, whether vocally or physically can bring two people very close together. It can also rip them apart if not handled well. Rejecting or shaming a fantasy is a great way to make sure you never know if your partner has another fantasy in the wings that would better suit not only your personal boundaries, but your relationship boundaries as well. The key is compassion, honesty and communication that is not judgmental. This week's theme is Expressions of Love: Explore Together. If there is a fantasy you've been holding onto for awhile, we encourage you to share it with your partner. Exploring all of those wonderful ways to achieve orgasm is its own brand of stress reliever. Nothing beats a good roll in the hay to calm those anxiety stricken nerves! Think back on your past relationships, do you think it's easier or harder for you to express your wants now? What has helped you become confident enough to share your deepest desires? Maybe this was achieved through self-exploration or discussing ideas with your partner---whatever the case may be, tell us about it! We'll be posting your comments on Facebook throughout the week. To help you get started, we're giving away baskets of Cake products on Eden Cafe this week!
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04/13/2012
angelpumpkin1
Great communication is huge in my relationship. Feeling connected on many levels increases enjoyment of the relationship. Being able to talk about things and laughing together helps to relieve stress. For me, it is also important to feel good about myself and confident in my own skin.
04/14/2012
Communication about desires has been a problem for me in the past. I get shy and clam up, and resort to "what ever you want is fine with me." Recently, though, I've been finding my assertive self. So, whoever the universe has lined up for me next better hold onto their hat, because I've got some ideas I want to try out!
04/14/2012
AnnaliciousYou
Im not married , but based on the relationships I have had, I find myself a stronger person who is able to articulate what she wants from her partner. In return I also feel that I have come a long way in being able to exrpress the love I feel, by leaving little notes for him to find, texting to say "I love you" and just saying it and being able to say those things is a vast change from my first relationship where I was seriously shy and there was a breakdown of communication.
I find it far easier to express my wants now because I have grown as a person and I know what I bring into a relationship and what I want from it.
I find it far easier to express my wants now because I have grown as a person and I know what I bring into a relationship and what I want from it.
04/15/2012
I think it's much easier to express my wants and desires now, because I have such a wonderfully supportive husband. He's helped to create a safe space for me to be able to talk about things I've always wanted to do, and I've been able to do the same for him. Getting the confidence to do them comes from knowing that he won't think any less of me for wanting to try anything new.
04/15/2012
Nancy Musser
I leave little notes for him around the house all day long just telling him how much he means to me, hugging him and kissing him letting him know he is wanted and loved. I will give him a nice bubble bath, massage etc.
04/15/2012
Lilli Bergeron
I express my love with words and action. I try to be there whenever someone I love needs me.
04/15/2012
I'm single now, but with life experience (as well as learning more about myself - personally and sexually) I feel I am better equipped at communicating with any lover. Time in a relationship definitely makes it easier to open up to those deeper desires, but I try hard to communicate openly and honestly from the very beginning of any relationship
04/15/2012
Quote:
Honestly in some ways it's both. I find that with age it is easier to express my wants. However, I find that after getting out of a long relationship a few months ago it will be difficult to go through all of it with someone new.
Originally posted by
Ansley
The world at large has so many things in it to enjoy and discover. All you have to do is reach out and take the chance to find out what's waiting for you. Throughout our lives we are encouraged to explore our surroundings. When we were young, it
...
more
The world at large has so many things in it to enjoy and discover. All you have to do is reach out and take the chance to find out what's waiting for you. Throughout our lives we are encouraged to explore our surroundings. When we were young, it was our duty to find new experiences and ask as many questions as we possibly could until our little brains understood the concept. As teenagers we challenged authority and explored the beginning trappings of relationships, both romantic and platonic. We developed a sense of who we are and what we like, what we don't like and catalog the things we're unsure about.The game changes when we become adults. Or at least so it can seem...we're expected to be well-mannered, well-behaved, and ready to settle down and start good, successful paths in life. That's great and all, but if your marriage or relationship suffers because you aren't exploring what's available to you, what's the point of any of it?Intimacy is the glue that holds a relationship together. Resorting to the same positions time and again, the same sounds, the same experience over and over again leads to a less-than-enthusiastic desire to continue being intimate with one another. Exploring fantasies, whether vocally or physically can bring two people very close together. It can also rip them apart if not handled well. Rejecting or shaming a fantasy is a great way to make sure you never know if your partner has another fantasy in the wings that would better suit not only your personal boundaries, but your relationship boundaries as well. The key is compassion, honesty and communication that is not judgmental. This week's theme is Expressions of Love: Explore Together. If there is a fantasy you've been holding onto for awhile, we encourage you to share it with your partner. Exploring all of those wonderful ways to achieve orgasm is its own brand of stress reliever. Nothing beats a good roll in the hay to calm those anxiety stricken nerves! Think back on your past relationships, do you think it's easier or harder for you to express your wants now? What has helped you become confident enough to share your deepest desires? Maybe this was achieved through self-exploration or discussing ideas with your partner---whatever the case may be, tell us about it! We'll be posting your comments on Facebook throughout the week. To help you get started, we're giving away baskets of Cake products on Eden Cafe this week!
less
04/16/2012