So... what do YOU think about when the sex is less than exciting?

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So... what do YOU think about when the sex is less than exciting?

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Contributor: Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
Relating to: Cerebral Wanderlust: What Men and Women are Really Thinking About

We all do it; our minds wander, we fantasize, we replay past sex or think about the sex to come. What do you think about when the at this moment sex is less than exciting?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
I don't fantasize. That's mean and wrong.
11
Tentacle sex! Draon penis! Anime girls! Real fantasy stuff.
14
The hot stripper I saw last week.
1
That actor/actress I love so much.
9
Ex boyfriends/girlfriends
11
The stuff I wish my partner was doing
98
Bringing home a stranger - for myself or to share
24
Bills, taxes, grocery shopping...
28
Hulk penis. Feet. Leather. You know, fetishy stuff.
18
Other
39
Total votes: 253 (142 voters)
Poll is closed
06/17/2009
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Contributor: Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Well, I tend to think about what I wish was happening instead I think. That doesn't necessarily mean that he's not doing something, though. Sometimes that just means I'm thinking "C'mon, why can't I get into the headspace?" Sometimes I think far too much about the mechanics of things, too. And there's been occasions where I'm too focused on every day crap.

Really, I don't fantasize during sex. I save that for masturbation and I tend to fantasize about things we've actually done or would likely do so it's funny that I have so much trouble getting into it when we do those things.
06/17/2009
Contributor: Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Something that struck me after I read the article which is if I am someplace else in my mind, that will take me too far away from what is actually happening and generally my body will follow, too. So I'm surprised so many people can fantasize like that. I need to be kept in the moment (but I often suck at it)
06/17/2009
Contributor: Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
Quote:
Originally posted by Adriana Ravenlust
Something that struck me after I read the article which is if I am someplace else in my mind, that will take me too far away from what is actually happening and generally my body will follow, too. So I'm surprised so many people can fantasize ... more
I'm the same way. I'm not worth much, all zoned out and thinking of something else. And yet, sometimes, I focus too hard and get awkward. It's a balancing act and those times I find the perfect balance are priceless.
06/17/2009
Contributor: Naughty Student Naughty Student
If something is not working out its because I am not aroused enough or my cervix is ultra sensitive and intercourse is slighlty painful (even with lube). So all I'm thinking is "is he gonna come soon...?" or "this hurts too much tell him to switch things up a bit". Otherwise I'm not thinking of anything else not even the groceries or some other man/woman...although I fantasize of a sexual adventure with a woman at times just not during sex.
06/17/2009
Contributor: Naughty Student Naughty Student
Quote:
Originally posted by Naughty Student
If something is not working out its because I am not aroused enough or my cervix is ultra sensitive and intercourse is slighlty painful (even with lube). So all I'm thinking is "is he gonna come soon...?" or "this hurts too much ... more
Oh, actually once while I was performing fellatio on my man I started having some flashbacks of me doing it to some past partner and I felt so ridden with guilt it was terrible.
06/17/2009
Contributor: Sammi Sammi
Lately it's not unexciting at all. But if my mind wanders, it's usually brought back by a good hard slap on my ass
06/17/2009
Contributor: Tuesday Tuesday
For awhile I would watch the clock and time him. I'm so bad.
06/17/2009
Contributor: Backseat Boohoo Backseat Boohoo
"Did I remember to turn the gas off?...no, wait, I'm a fucking squirrel."
06/17/2009
Contributor: ~*SurrealisticFantasy*~ ~*SurrealisticFantasy*~
Quote:
Originally posted by Backseat Boohoo
"Did I remember to turn the gas off?...no, wait, I'm a fucking squirrel."
I KNEW I liked you, hahaha!!
06/17/2009
Contributor: Luscious Lily Luscious Lily
Quote:
Originally posted by Backseat Boohoo
"Did I remember to turn the gas off?...no, wait, I'm a fucking squirrel."
You just made my day. Excuse me while I go search for my ass, which I seem to have laughed off just now.

I'm one of the boring ones, I guess. If I'm not completely in the moment, and for once the sex is less than exciting, I'm usually thinking about either a)things I wish he was doing, or b)things he's done/we've done in the past. One that used to be more common, but is rare now, is the "oh please let it be over soon, it hurts!" And it wasn't really his fault, it was my medication's fault. Hooray for modern medicine?

The really juicy fantasizing gets saved for when he's not here to play with.
06/18/2009
Contributor: Rockin' Rockin'
Quote:
Originally posted by Backseat Boohoo
"Did I remember to turn the gas off?...no, wait, I'm a fucking squirrel."
Love it. Love it. Love it. ^_^
06/18/2009
Contributor: Rockin' Rockin'
I'm really bad about blaming myself for not feeling more aroused. I think about how I could be feeling, and wonder why I'm not there yet, and wonder why I'm not closer to orgasm. It's sad. Makes me sad to type it out, but that's what I do. I feel bad about feeling bad. Really bad cycle. Luckily the sex is usually of high enough quality for me not to get like that, especially recently. I'm working on it. I really don't fantasize, though, but I don't think it's mean or wrong to do so.
06/18/2009
Contributor: NaughtyButterfly NaughtyButterfly
Quote:
Originally posted by Sammi
Lately it's not unexciting at all. But if my mind wanders, it's usually brought back by a good hard slap on my ass
Same here
06/18/2009
Contributor: Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Quote:
Originally posted by Rockin'
I'm really bad about blaming myself for not feeling more aroused. I think about how I could be feeling, and wonder why I'm not there yet, and wonder why I'm not closer to orgasm. It's sad. Makes me sad to type it out, but ... more
You know, it strikes me that there are two general schools of thought the "Blame him/her" and the "Blame me" )=
07/10/2009
Contributor: Raven Raven
When I need a little additional help in getting aroused for whatever reason, I can think of a few of my favorite scenes from erotic romance novels, or a couple of scenes in porn I thought were good. Also, there is an actor that I think is very sexy and I can fantasize about him. As long as the things I'm thinking about are actually arousing and can increase blood flow to the genital area, it works for me.
07/14/2009
Contributor: Oggins Oggins
I'm usually thinking how much more awesome it would be if he didn't have to stop and try to prolong himself right when I'm on the edge of an orgasm. Then I have to build up all over again, bleh! That usually causes me to get mad at myself though because he IS trying to prolong the experience, lol!
08/01/2009
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by Backseat Boohoo
"Did I remember to turn the gas off?...no, wait, I'm a fucking squirrel."
Okay, I agree with SurrealisticFantasy's comment above. I officially think you're fantastic.
02/07/2010
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
I admit to playing a fair amount of mind games during sex with my wife.

When I'm trying hold off orgasm I let my mind wander to a non-erotic place - but have to be careful not to go too far - lest I loose an erection.

Similarly if I'm trying to speed up an orgasm to synchronize with my wife - I'll fantasize something particularly hot that I'd like to do with her. Other times I think about a third person joining me in a double penetration scenario - something that will never happen!
02/07/2010
Contributor: Hannah Savage Hannah Savage
Let me just say right off the bat that I love having sex with my boyfriend. He is wonderful at what he does and our bodies, physically and chemically, click very well. Unfortunately, I've gotten into a really bad habit. Once we start, all I can think about is the fact that I know he will be finished in about 5 minutes and I will be left still wanting. It's really bad. I'm doing my best to -not- let my mind go there.
06/01/2010
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
Never got a chance to find out when I was with Mulder - I SO WANTED SEX after ten years in hell with a celibate marriage!

I'm pretty sure I will at some point, and I find nothing wrong with fantasizing during sex.
06/01/2010
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
I have a bad habit of just clamming up when it doesn't feel too good and hoping they will read my mind and do something different. It's something Sigel enforced way back in the dark bad times but it still crops up now and again. Gets me in trouble with Arch who will stop and demand to know what he's doing wrong and lately Sigel has been stopping and asking if it feels good.
I tend to drift into a fantasy and it's ok cause both guys like me to talk nasty...really really nasty
06/02/2010
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
I voted other because I don't let sex stay less than exciting long enough to think about it. Make it what you want it to be.
06/03/2010
Contributor: Lustful Dreams Lustful Dreams
I think of everything and anything, but like Laur3n said, I usually try to change things up if they're less than exciting.
06/03/2010
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
If it HURTS, damn, I AM going to say something. Usually, he'll catch on and ask before I have to, but if not, I will say it is uncomfortable and we can switch to oral sex or manual stimulation for the duration. I'm not going to lie there in any kind of pain I didn't ask for!

I pretty much have to fantasize to have an orgasm, that's how I'm wired. I'm pretty sure My Man does, too. At least most of the time.

Years ago, when we had babies and I was tired and really not very horny, I'd want sex over with soon, (yeah, I did the timing thing, I had LITTLE time, with small kids and for some reason he was taking forever to Come. UNTIL he caught me, "Why do you always look at the clock when we start having sex? Are you timing me?" OMG, was I embarrassed.) in those days, I'd once in a while actually start thinking about what I was going to make for dinner, a shopping list and I began to think, "THIS has to change." We worked on it and I haven't made a shopping list or recipe during sex in years.
07/29/2010
Contributor: Miss Naughty Kitty Miss Naughty Kitty
I don't really like to think about other stuff when im having sex, even if its not the best. I guess the only thing I would really be thinking about is what could make it better and then actually doing that.
08/08/2010
Contributor: Envy Envy
Fantasizing helps me usually. But i guess I start thinking about everything that i have to get done around the house and all.
08/08/2010
Contributor: SexyySarah SexyySarah
I fantasize occasionally, but what I really do, is imagine what he should be doing differently! LOL
08/08/2010
Contributor: KnK KnK
The first guy I was intimate with. He was also the first guy who ever went down on me. All I could think was, "God this is awkward..." I couldn't wait for it to be over.
12/14/2010
Contributor: Danielle1220 Danielle1220
I think about all the stuff I want/need him to do to me...lol
12/15/2010