Anal. Help.

Contributor: sorinch67 sorinch67
Is there an easier more comfortable way to do anal? I mean I'm ok with anal beads but once my boyfriend goes for the goal I just cant seem to enjoy much of it.
12/06/2010
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Contributor: ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
What are you doing now? Beads are ok but they really do not stretch you out unless they are bigger than your boyfriend. Maybe try a dildo that is as big as him and use that for a bit before you take him. Also a good lube can help out a bunch.
12/06/2010
Contributor: Throwingawaysoon Throwingawaysoon
Warm it up. That's all it's about. Start with a small plug, load it up with lube and put it in. Keep it in for a bit before moving up to a slightly larger one. Then you just keep going up. It's not gonna be an overnight thing. A vibrating butt plug helps too. Feels pretty friggen good as well!
12/06/2010
Contributor: Porfiriato Porfiriato
If you are new to anal, don't go straight for trying to take your boyfriend. Start with toys like anal beads or small plugs. Gradually increase size until you can take plugs or smooth dildos comfortably that are about the size of your bf. Always use plenty of lube. Be sure that you are relaxed and warmed-up before trying to take him.
12/06/2010
Contributor: LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Gradually increase the size of your plugs
12/07/2010
Contributor: darkkitty darkkitty
Quote:
Originally posted by sorinch67
Is there an easier more comfortable way to do anal? I mean I'm ok with anal beads but once my boyfriend goes for the goal I just cant seem to enjoy much of it.
I try a small plug all day the day of.
12/07/2010
Contributor: ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
I find that plugs only help so much, think about it, a plug once inserted does not keep you stretched due to the neck being smaller than the bulged part. Yes it will provide some stretch but not like a dildo would. My Ryder does little to get me ready for the Severin, but if I start with my Big Boy and work my way down till it is all the way in the Severin slips in like butter.

Remember that the Sphincter muscles only are about 3/4" to 1" deep, (same as most necks on plugs.) that is the part that needs stretching.
12/07/2010
Contributor: Jessica Elizabeth Jessica Elizabeth
Yep - stretching. You're going to want to graduate yourself to something larger than a set of anal beads. While beads are great for DP and an erotic feeling in your bum they are in no way adequate for getting you use to your man's penis. Simply look at the size difference of them.

Look for some smaller sterilizable dildos and start playing with them slowly. also - try having an orgasm or two before you go for a larger anal toy and make sure to use plenty of lube
12/07/2010
Contributor: PassionQT PassionQT
Quote:
Originally posted by sorinch67
Is there an easier more comfortable way to do anal? I mean I'm ok with anal beads but once my boyfriend goes for the goal I just cant seem to enjoy much of it.
It took me years to figure out how to enjoy it. It's all about relaxing. Some never get to that point. Tell him to leave you alone about it for a while and when you are ready to try again, you be the one to ask for it. He shouldn't pester you about it.
12/07/2010
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
You need to get comfortable with anal play, allowing your anus to be open, and allowing someone else to insert things in your anus. Generally this happens in that order as well.

Since you've started using beads you're probably comfortable with anal play. If not, then start with external play and learn to enjoy the sensations, then move to small insertable toys. From there you need to learn to open up your anus, and realize that that can happen without there being a mess. We usually train ourselves to keep things closed back there because of messes, and you need to be able to override this. Start with small insertables and move up slowly. Dildos and fingers are good for this because they're a more consistent size, you can experiment with thrusting, and they'll also help you learn to relax the interior muscles that allow things (toys, penises, etc.) to comfortably slide up and down in the rectum.

Lastly entrust your partner (a trustworthy partner!) with your anus and learn to relax and let someone else stimulate you without tensing up. Only then will you be ready for full anal sex. Expect it to take at least a month.
12/07/2010