Originally posted by
what is the name of the book
Oh, sorry, it's "Anal Pleasure and Health" by Jack Morin.
It covers a lot, and back when I started I did it "for" partners, but I've worked my way to a point where I enjoy solo anal activities. Reading it helped, since I realized I wasn't enjoying it all that much.
Solo play helped even more - being able to use toys on yourself and see how it feels and how you react takes away the feeling that a partner might have expectations and the anxiety that you might not be able to meet them.
(and by "you" I mean "me" since that's all based on my personal experience.)