I remember Bulma rating the "Not Yet" gel quite highly; that might be a good idea.

You could also start out with vaginal sex while wearing a decent-sized butt plug, then finish off with anal.

Have you tried cock rings to delay his orgasm? Average J wrote a review of a Tantus ring that talks about how it delays orgasm. Let me see if I can find that...

link here is what he says, When a man ejaculates, the prostate's job is to shut off the bladder and push seminal fluid down the urethra. The testicles then contract and add sperm to the seminal fluid with the result of ejaculation. A cock ring holds the balls down and keeps the testes from contracting thus slowing down ejaculation."

My partner is quick on the draw too. Don't touch him before sex! Do not include any of your foreplay to be testicular or penile massage, just leave his naughty bits completely untouched. Make sure he doesn't touch himself either, this will give you a few more minutes- it averages between an extra 5 and 10 for us.

Starting with vaginal won't work as he cums too fast. I'm probably going to look into cock rings - I remember reading that about how they delay. I think I can get him to try one . An extra 5 or 10 minutes would definitely help!

To respond to the other part of your question - getting yourself "ready to take it" as you say...Try putting in your favorite plug about a half hour before you think things might get started. Make sure it's a comfortable size. You'll be somewhat stretched and relaxed when it's 'go' time

I'm going to chime in here to say that I have a hard time holding out very long when anal sex is involved as well. That being said, I have had very good success with properly sized cock rings, so I think that is a great suggestion. There have been successful reports of the Fleshlight STU (Stamina Training Unit) system working well to help guys last longer too, but I don't have any personal experience there. I also second In the Pink's suggestion of putting in a decent sized butt plug ahead of time to get you ready for the real thing.

I am thinking that the plug might be good as well. Not sure if the ones I have are going to be comfortable for wearing very long, though. I am going to have try this out and see... I suspect my husband will be more into that than trying a cock ring, but you never know

I'd recommend a plug with a neck diameter of 1" or more if you have one. Smaller necked plugs (such as Rider or the Luxotiq) feel nice, but I find they're not wide enough to help the anus relax much. My favorite plugs for warm-up are also about 5" long (insertable length), as I find a longer toy helps to get things lined up and ready.

My favorite general-purpose warm-up plug now is the Tantus Bronco, but before that I used the Tantus Flirt. The main advantage that the Bronco has is that it stays in better, but it also has a bit wider neck.

DO NOT USE the Not-Yet-Gel anally! It has benzocaine in it and will numb the anus as well, which is dangerous.

You might want to look around online or at the library for some of the sexual Tantra techniques. They take work, and sometimes the language is a bit difficult for Western-cultured people, but the techniques do seem to help, and they're better than numbing gels.

Another possibility would be multiple condoms.

I have a Flirt, & also the Silks. I will take a look at the Bronco. You don't find them uncomfortable wearing them around?

Do condoms make guys cum less frequently? We've never used any, so that might be something to try.

If you put multiple condoms on it does dull the sensation somewhat. It's probably best to put lube in between each condom so they rub on themselves rather than on the penis (the principle is the same as using multiple socks to prevent blisters). Try three condoms to start, and then you can move up or down from there.

Regarding the plugs: I found that the Flirt tended to come out easily enough that I needed to either have something to hold it in (chair, bed, tight pants) or have a hand available just in case. The only time I've had the Bronco come out was when I was squatting, relaxing my anus, and coughing to test to see how well it stayed in. In actual use it's stayed in just fine. The base on either the Flirt or Bronco is big enough to where I wouldn't feel comfortable wearing them in public, though, but warming up and relaxing shouldn't take too long (1/2 hour should be plenty).

Echoing what Scott said about the "Not Yet" gel and anal use. Numbing agents + anal = bad idea. A friend of mine did that and she now has a severe fissure directly above her sphincter that's taking a hell of a long time to heal and she will probably require surgery for it. I have a more minor fissure than hers not due to anal sex, and let me tell you, fissures are no fun at all.

I was assuming you'd put the gel on your husband's penis, then slip a condom over top of it, just because a lot of people wear condoms during anal. I apologize; I should have stipulated that.

Could enough benzocaine diffuse through a condom to cause a problem, though?

I'm pretty strongly in favor of the non-chemical ejaculation control methods, though. They do work often, but they can take a while.

I think my current plan is to look into an inexpensive & easy to use cockring. Do they usually come with instructions? I'm also going to try putting a plug in beforehand and see where that goes.

This is going to be interesting .

Ok, I don't want to freak him out too much. So, on my Wish List link , the top 6 are the ones I am looking at. Would the stretchy ones or the snap ones be better for someone who has never, ever used one?

The reviews are all pretty decent on them, so I'm just looking for suggestions

I'd go with a non-snap model. Snaps can pinch or press too hard, and you have to mess with adjusting more.

I'd also go with silicone over the rubber or jelly stuff.

have him practice in a fleshlight--build stamina. Let him pull out if he feels himself about to cum, or just stay still inside you, so he won't come. And the other posters have great ideas too!

When I wanted to have better slower orgasms (lol totally the opposite of what most girls want) I masturbated to the almost point, then let it subside, then started again, etc etc. Works for guys too!

Cialis helps me delay orgasm - not sure why.

Also a cock ring enables me to stay hard for a while after orgasm.

If he's older like me - having an orgasm the day before will make it much harder for me to orgasm the next day.

Get'n old's a btch